


Unforgettable

by TheOneAndOnlyMegan



Category: Star Trek, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Commander Lexa, F/F, F/M, Honestly It's Better Than It Sounds, I really never read chapters before I post them, Let Me Know If You Find A Plot, Lexa/Costia (Mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, Minor Bryan/Nathan Miller, My First AO3 Post, Nurse Clarke, Octavia/Raven (Mentioned) - Freeform, Past Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Past Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Some Humor, just read it, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-07-06 13:05:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 43,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15886629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOneAndOnlyMegan/pseuds/TheOneAndOnlyMegan
Summary: The galaxy is vast and beautiful, yet Lexa and Clarke keep managing to run into each other. Is it Fate, or Something else? (Honestly I don't know what to put as a summery just read it, I promise it's not that bad.)





	1. To Infinity And Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first post, let me know what you think! I promise I will actually finish things and read any comments. If there's a AU or plot you'd like to see, feel free to comment below! Thanks for reading.

Clarke could hardly stand still next to Jackson in line due to her excitement. "Today’s the day" she told herself "Soon I’ll be on a ship flying through the galaxy." 

Trying to keep her cool, Clarke forced her feet to stop tapping on the metal floors of the hanger beneath her feet, and instead focus on her Captain’s voice.

Thelonious Jaha stood in front of his crew and visibly looked them over. For at least the next three years of her life Clarke would be in space with only the people around her. For Clarke, it never mattered what she was doing in space as long as she was in space. 

Ever since she was a little girl, Clarke always knew she wanted to go to space. She had managed, much with her mother’s persuasion, to land a job as a nurse on the A.R.K 100. Now, Clarke stood with some of her closest friends waiting to board the ship that would quite possibly fill her entire future. 

Since their academy days, Clarke and her closest friends were determined to all board the same ship. Her best friend since practically birth, Raven, had managed to score a perfect score on her engineering test, and landed a job as Assistant Chief Engineer. The brother and sister duo, Bellamy and Octavia, as well as Jasper, Monty, Monroe, Harper, and Finn were all people they met whilst at the academy and had become fast friends. Bellamy had gotten his dream job as Security Chief. Octavia had originally wanted to join a Federation Starfleet but couldn’t due to her age, so she resigned to becoming a Communications Officer until she was old enough to join the Federation. Monty and Jasper had both entered the Science department, with Monty being Chief Science Officer and Jasper his Assistant. Harper doubled as a Navigator and a second Communications officer if Octavia were to leave the ship for exploration. Monroe had ended up Chief Tactical Officer and Finn the Intelligence Officer. That left her longtime friend, Wells Jaha, who was the Conn Officer. 

Clarke often felt like she hadn’t accomplished much when compared to her friends who were the leads and Assistants of their departments while Clarke herself was only a nurse. Her mother assured her had there been more medical positions open she would have been a doctor but Clarke had her doubts. 

A sharp jab to her ribs pulled Clarke out of her head and she looked to her left where Raven now stood beside her. 

“Clarke! Are you coming or what?” Raven asked in an exasperated tone. 

Clarke looked in front of her to see her friends had formed a somewhat half circle around her, each giving her a somewhat expectant look. The only person absent from this group was Wells and Clarke had almost grown accustomed to his absence as of late. However, next to Jasper was a familiar face, but not someone she had expected to see. 

“Murphy?” Clarke asked, her confusion evident. 

He gave her a crooked smile, “Hey Princess, guess who managed to snag a last minute place as an engineer?” 

Harper smiled, “Hey, we all made it!” 

Across the hanger bay Clarke heard her mom call out, “Clarke, C’mon we’re leaving!” 

Clarke and her friends made their way over to the A.R.K 100 and walked up the boarding ramp. The night before Clarke had made sure to study all the schematics for the ship she could find but reading about a ship and standing on one were two different things. The A.R.K was by no means a large ship, in fact it was rather small due to the fact it was only an exploration ship, but Clarke’s jaw dropped nonetheless. 

“Whew,” Octavia whistled, “This should be fun.” 

With that, Clarke exchanged one final look at the hanger behind her, shared a nod with her friends, and hurried off to find the medbay before takeoff.


	2. S.O.S Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The A.R.K 100 gets a distress signal, and receives orders from the Federation to help the stranded Federation crew. It's only Clarke's second day on the A.R.K 100, yet she finds herself soon rescuing a mysterious Commander with bright green eyes, oh, and the Commander's three other group members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have anyone pre-read this so sorry if there's any spelling mistakes.

It had been officially 24 hours since Clarke boarded the A.R.K 100, but the novelty had yet to wear off. For her, she supposed it never would. 

Walking to the Mess Hall to meet up with her friends for lunch Clarke pondered what she would do with the rest of her day. Since Jackson and Abby, along with a few of the other four nurses would be remaining in the medbay, Clarke was free to roam the ship. Yesterday had been a full day of stocking the medicine cabinets and memorizing where everything was, but now that that was done and no one was currently sick or injured Clarke was almost just a passenger on the ship. 

Making a left turn Clarke bumped into someone and looked up to find an unfamiliar face. 

“Sorry about that,” he replied with a small smile. 

“No, I should have been watching were I was going,” Clarke replied, mentally trying to figure out who the man in front of her was. The man in front of her was a few years older than herself with salt and pepper hair and kind dark eyes. He stood a good head taller than Clarke and she found herself having to look up to talk to him. “I’m sorry, have we met? You seem familiar.” 

His smile broadened and Clarke got the impression he had a kind soul. “I’m sure we have, I’ve helped your mother out a few times. I’m Sinclair, Chief Engineer.”

Clarke briefly remembered see the man slip into the med bay yesterday to make sure the computers were working. “Oh, well I’m Clarke, nice to meet you.” 

They shared a smile before Sinclair continued down the hall and Clarke walked the rest of the way to the Mess Hall. 

Upon sitting down at the table with her tray Clarke was immediately pulled into a discussion her friends were having. 

“Clarke, please tell Bellamy that the A.R.K was not a fighting ship and there’s no way in hell we’ll be going into battle in this thing!” Raven all but shouted. 

Harper let out a sigh, “I’m sorry Bell, but this ship isn’t going anyway near the war zone.” 

Bellamy visibly deflated, “But don’t you guys feel like we should be helping to do something instead of sitting here?” 

Jasper set down his sandwich and turned to face Bellamy, “I’m sorry, but have you seen some of us? Could you imagine me, Monty, and Harper charging into battle? Yeah, I think not. Not everyone is born battle ready like you and Monroe.” 

Monroe grinned at the obvious complement. It was no secret that Monroe would have been on a Federation ship had she not wanted to stay closer to Harper. The two weren’t together yet, but had been close ever since meeting their second year of academy. Just as Finn was opening his mouth to contribute to the discussion the speakers overhead cut on as the First Officer, Marcus Kane, made an announcement. 

“Can I have Bellamy Blake, Finn Collins, Monty Green, Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes, and Octavia Blake report to the helm? I repeat, can I have Bellamy Blake, Finn Collins, Monty-”

Clarke exchanged a look with her friends before jumping up and practically bolting out of the Mess Hall. By the tone of Kane’s voice it was nothing serious, but the excitement that she might get to go on an exploration on her second day was too great for her to pass up. 

When she reached the hallway to the helm she slowed her place so she didn’t make a fool of herself and walked confidently into the room where her mom was already waiting. A few minutes after Clarke herself showed up the rest of her friends came busting into the helm and stopped when they reached Clarke’s side. 

Jaha stood from his Captain's chair and turned to address the group. “As you all know, roughly three hours ago we entered the outskirts of the Null Sector. A few days prior to our arrival a Federation ship sent a team of four to try and defuse a situation happening on one of the planets. They were unsuccessful and captured by Anti-Federation outlaws who staged the whole thing. They managed to send out a distress signal and since we were the closest ship we have been ordered by the Federation to send a team to assist the original landing party. I know this isn’t what you signed up for and won’t blame you if you’d rather not go on the mission but this is a war effort and your help will be rewarded. Any questions?”

The group was silent for a moment, some shocked, some excited, others just confused, but eventually Finn broke the silence. 

His eyebrows were furrowed and his face in a light scowl, “I’m sorry sir, but why can’t the ship send in their own reinforcements?” It was a valid question but Clarke couldn’t see the point in asking. If the Federation was asking for an exploration ship to step in and help there was obviously a good reason for it.

“Their current ship, The U.S.S Grounder, was is off in another sector getting repairs. They originally hadn't expected the attack and assumed that it was safe to leave the group there. Now the ship is in repairs and couldn’t make the journey back for another few weeks.” Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Finn stood quietly in the back of the ground with his arms crossed. 

“Excuse me, sir, but why do you need me? The others I understand but I’m an engineer, what could I possibly do on a rescue mission?” Raven asked. 

Jaha smiled, “You, Raven, are going to get the group out of their current prison bunker. By any means necessary.” A devlish smirk appeared on Raven's face, aparrently the engineer already had a few ideas in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Chapters soon!


	3. S.O.S Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, all spelling, grammar, anything, all mistakes are mine, sorry.

Lexa paced the wall of her current confinement for possibly the millionth time, one arm clutching her midsection while the other rested on top of it, her chin gripped in her forefinger and thumb. Deep in though she missed the way her First Officer eyed her before stepping in front of her and grabbing her shoulders, effectively stopping her in her tracks. 

“Commander,” Anya tried, Lexa didn’t hear her, too lost in her own forming of plans to notice she’d stopped walking. 

Anya waited a beet before softening, “Lexa,” she said calmly. 

At the use of her name Lexa’s head shot up and looked into Anya’s sharp dark eyes. She smiled, “You’re going to wear a trench into the ground with all of your pacing.”

Lexa grinned, accustomed to her best friend and First Officer making jokes even in the most dire of situations. With a raised brow she quipped, “Who knows? Maybe that’s my great escape plan.” 

Off to her left, Lincoln snorted from his current place on the floor, “I’m sure.” 

They had been stuck in their cell for just over two days, rationing the little supplies Nyko, the Chief Medical Officer, had brought. 

Lexa knew, realistically, they had a very little chance of escape as their ship was at least three sectors over by now in who knows how many pieces. However, Lexa refused to let this be that way she died and since being placed in their shared cell had not stopped planning. There were no guards, no other prisoners, no one. Whatever party had attacked them had been well armed and left shortly after placing their prisoners in custody. Their weapons had been placed in a bag in the cell across from them and Lexa had spent a good three hours on their first day trying every way she could to get to them. 

Their cell wasn’t big, maybe fifteen feet along every wall, but it didn’t need to be, there was only four of them. However, Lexa had grown up in a very spacious forest and could hardly stand being confined to this cage. She could see in subtle ways how it was starting to affect Nyko and Lincoln too. From the stiff way Lincoln held his jaw or slowly eased his hand in and out of a fist to the ways Nyko would stretch more often than he needed to, or tap his foot. 

Anya however, wasn’t as bothered by their confines. It annoyed her, yes, but growing up in a vast land of ice one grew accustomed to staying in small confinements for warmth. 

Lexa looked down at Anya’s arm when she slipped it through her own, and allowed herself to be led over to the far wall to sit. 

The four remained in silence for a bit longer, thinking about what might happen were they not to escape. 

Lexa’s mind wandered to Costia, her ship’s Counselor. She wondered briefly if the other woman would miss her. It was no secret the two messed around on occasion but Lexa had never intended for it to be anything other than it was. 

A passtime. 

Sure, she and Costia would go on “dates” and often spend time together when they were both free but Lexa had never thought about how they would act were they not in the ship. With a shake of her head she dismissed the thoughts, not wanting to entertain the idea of something that would never happen and instead focused on making an escape plan.

After a while Lincoln moved over to sit to Lexa’s left, Nyko to Anya’s right. The four huddled together for warmth as the planet’s temperature started to drop, signifying the beginning of night. All being very close and familiar to one another they didn’t mind the position they found themselves and instead tried to get some rest. Lexa was notorious for being a very skilled Commander, yet a very caring leader to those she led. Her crew were all very close and would take a bullet for one another without a moment’s hesitation. 

With Lincoln’s arm around her shoulders and Anya’s head on her chest, along with Nyko’s arm across her center Lexa couldn't help but smile at the little family she’d created with her crew. She eventually fell asleep that way, long after all the other’s had, as she made sure no danger came there way, with a small smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Chapters soon!


	4. "Deep in her eyes, I think I see a future"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke came to Lexa's rescue! (Sorry, not good at these yet)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, mistakes are all mine. Chapter title from "Shut Up And Dance" Walk The Moon

Clarke took a moment to get her bearings after beaming down to the planet she now found herself on. 

The ground beneath her feet was dusty yet course and before Clarke had the chance to bend down and touch it Bellamy’s voice sounded from behind her. 

“Remember, heads up, we don’t know who took the other group and whether or not they’re still there.” 

Clarke turned around to look at the group that had come with her. Bellamy as their protection, Octavia as their way to communicate with the ship, Finn as their bridge to whatever kind of people they may encounter while here, her mother as head doctor and Raven as the tech. Monty had backed out of the mission and Jasper had taken his place to gather notes on the planet and their surroundings. Clarke herself was here as her mother’s assistant, or head doctor should her mother need to beam someone back to the ship or become compromised. As a safety measure, every member of the team had a small blaster, while Bellamy had a rifle. 

Together as a group the made their way across the barren desert like plains towards where the distress signal was sent. After walking for about half an hour, the group came across the ruins of a village, most likely destroyed by the war. 

Jasper glanced down at the tracking device he held in his boney hands, “According to this, the other group should be in that building over there.” He pointed to a building that was slightly bigger than the rest and looked to be much more put together. Everyone followed his finger and looked at where the presumed captured group was held. 

“Well, what are we standing around here for?” Raven piped up from the back of the group before pushing ahead and walking towards the building. 

“Raven wait!” Bellamy shouted, drawing his gun and hasting to follow, “You don’t know what’s over there, it could be dangerous!” 

Raven rolled her eyes, but did slow her pace some. Clarke stole a glance at her mother who was eyeing the village with her careful eyes, but said nothing as she moved to catch up with the rest of the group. 

They walked in silence, Raven and Bellamy leading the group with Abby in the back with a slightly apprehensive Jasper. Clarke was admiring her surroundings when a sharp cry from behind of her made her snap her attention to the back of the group. 

Jasper was laying on the ground clutching something that protruded from his chest, after a moment Clarke realized it was an arrow. Blood started to seep out of his chest and discolor the sandy soil beneath him. Abby turned and rushed to Jasper’s side while Bellamy brought his rifle up to his chest. Clarke drew her blaster and started to scan the horizon. From one of the rooftops she saw a glint of metal “Bellamy is that-” was all she got out before an arrow whizzed by her head, just barely nicking her cheek. Unfortunately while it only nicked Clarke’s cheek it did graze Octavia’s calf. Clarke’s mind whirled to try and asses the situation but all her thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when Bellamy fired his gun from beside her. Clarke watched, feet glued to the ground as a figure cloaked in all black fell from the top of a roof. 

"He killed a man. Bellamy, just shot a man. A living, breathing, man." Was Clarke’s only thought before a shocked Octavia called out, “Clarke! Are you okay?” 

Clarke took a steadying breath, and closed her eyes for a moment. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She turned to her mom, “How’s your leg? How’s Jasper?” 

Abby was already cutting away the shirt Jasper was wearing and Clarke barely suppressed a grimace at the amount of blood seeping from his chest. From the placement, Clarke knew it had just missed any vital organs, still, he would be laid up in bed for a while. 

“I need to get him back so he doesn’t bleed out,” Clarke watched as her mom slipped into doctor mode. Her tone steady and formal, lips drawn tant and brows furrowed. 

Octavia pulled her communicator from her belt, “Harper, beam Doctor Griffin and Jasper up please.” Octavia’s voice shook with worry and she watched Jasper with concern in her eyes. 

Abby looked to the group with apprehension in her eyes, lingering longer on Clarke, “Please, be safe?” 

Raven shot her a crooked smile, “Of course, when aren't we?” Abby opened her mouth, probably to make sure Raven understood the situation but before she could say anything Abby and Jasper had been beamed back up to the ship. 

Bellamy sighed, “Right, well, I guess we keep going?” 

Finn scoffed, “See, this is why they should have their own damn crew come after them. We don’t even know these people!” 

Clarke rolled her eyes at Finn’s outburst and continued forward, Bellamy and Octavia at her heels. 

“What, you’re just going to keep going forward?” he asked, anger evident in her tone. 

Clarke was about to turn on him, but Octavia beat her to it. “Are you kidding me right now?” anger shook her voice and her sky blue eyes were ablaze, “This is still a rescue mission and after what happened to Jasper I think you owe it to him to keep going! I’m not about to stop now!” Octavia had cleared the space between them and now had her finger jabbed into Finn’s chest. Finn, for his part, looked shocked at Octavia’s anger and held his tongue. 

“At least let me put a wrap around your leg,” Clarke added, shooting Octavia a look that said "Don’t even try to say no."

After Clarke wrapped up the little cut on Octavia’s leg with a “I’m going to look at this later.” Octavia went to join her brother at the front of the group, Finn on her heels looking quite annoyed. In that moment Clarke was glad she had broken up with someone so selfish. 

The rest of their way to the building went without hitch minus the two or three rocks Raven tripped on. When they arrived at the door, Raven knelt before the suspiciously new keypad and began to start fiddling with the wires. After about ten tense minutes the door flew open and they were greeted with a prison of sorts. 

Bellamy lifted his gun and slowly crept down the hallway stopping to glance longer at one cell in particular before doubling back and signaling the others to come in. When Clarke approached the cell she was vaguely aware of the three people behind her, and the three other people in the cell and Bellamy ahead of her, but all of her attention was drawn to one prisoner in particular. She stood in a protective fighting stance in front of the other three members of her group. The way she stood, smooth jaw set, mouth taunt, eyes focused, you’d never know she was a prisoner. When Clarke’s own blue eyes met the woman’s bright, piercing green stare she drew in a audible breath. She was by far the most beautiful woman Clarke had ever seen and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the other woman’s hard stare. Clarke’s eyes hungrily took in every detail of the other woman’s face, committing every feature to memory. The way her light brown, wild curls were pulled back into a series of intricate braids that Clarke could study for days and still not figure out. The woman held an air of mystery and power, and Clarke wanted nothing but to know all her little quirks. To figure out all the little things that made her unique. 

The two groups stood in silence for a moment, each eying the other up, or in the case of Clarke, Octavia, and Raven, checking the other out. 

Finn eventually cleared his throat and did his job and addressed the group, “Hello, I’m Intelligence Officer Finn Collins of the A.R.K 100. We were told by the Federation to come and assist in anyway we could after they received word of your distress signal. How can we help?” 

Clarke was shocked by the formality of his voice when only moments earlier he was complaining about the rescue mission. However when Clarke looked over she saw a familiar glint in his eyes, and confident smirk on his face. Clarke’s blood boiled when she found that gaze to be trained on the woman with the green eyes. 

The four gracefully dropped from their flawless fighting stances and stood to their full height. All four of them held themselves like generals and the sight of them sent a slight edge of fear in Clarke. However, out of them all, the woman with the green eyes was by far the most intimidating, even though the slightly shorter woman to her left was a close second. Due to their coats Clarke couldn’t see their suits to see their ranks but she guessed that the woman in the middle was in charge. 

When Finn spoke her only acknowledgment was to raise her chin slightly. After a few long moments of silence waited with bated breath, she spoke and Clarke almost melted at the smooth velvety tone that was her voice. "I am Admiral Lexa Woods of U.S.S Grounder, thank you for your assistance in this sensitive matter. To my left is my First Officer Anya Woods, to my right, my Intelligence Officer Lincoln Woods, and finally to the left of my First Officer, my Chief Medical Officer Nyko.” Clarke didn’t miss the way she eyed each member of her group as she spoke with great pride about her crew. She hung on every one of her words as the Admiral in front of her practically radiated the demand for attention and respect. Not that Clarke minded staring at the beautiful brunette with intricate braids in front of her. 

Octavia spoke up from where she had previously been staring the Intelligence Officer, “I’m going to step outside and contact our ship so they can prepare to beam us up.” Octavia wasted no time in walking back down and out of the hallway. 

Clarke knew full well that the communicator would work just fine from in here and suspected it had something to do with the hunk of an Intelligence Officer standing in front of them. Judging from the Admiral’s raised eyebrow she knew it too. 

It was then Clarke noticed how young the crew was, all of them not seeming that much older than herself save for Nyko who might’ve had a few years on her. She briefly wondered how they had gotten into the Federation if they were so young, with such high positions too. Just as she was about to ask, Raven and Bellamy picked the lock on the cell door and the crew in question came boldly from their cell. The Admiral, Lexa, walked out with her chin held high and hands clasped behind her back. Had it been anyone else, Clarke would have laughed at the prospect of someone walking out of a prison cell that way. However, as it was, the Admiral walked out of the cell with purpose and Clarke had no doubts in her mind that this woman was a formidable leader. 

The two groups walked outside after grabbing the crew’s weapons from the other cell, to meet up with Octavia.

“Say the word Admiral and I’ll have us beamed up,” Octavia said looking Lexa directly in the eyes and Clarke swore she saw a flash of respect cross the Admiral’s eyes before she nodded slightly and Octavia raised the radio to her mouth. Clarke wonder why, for a moment, why Octavia was being to respectful. She didn’t even speak to their Academy officers that way, instead choosing to subject them to her usual snark. 

Clarke picked up on the way Lexa’s Intelligence Officer looked at Octavia with obvious interest (much to the same way Clarke was unknowingly looking at Lexa) but noted that instead of ogling Octavia’s assets, he merely did a head to toe once over and looked only to her eyes. Clarke was taken aback by his respectful gesture and wondered if this was a common trait among Lexa’s crew, but halted when she started to ponder when she had switched from referring to Lexa as Admiral, to just Lexa. 

There was a surge of light then Clarke found herself back on the A.R.K. She momentarily wondered if this was some sort of training session and she would look around to see the VR room’s walls, but instead found Lexa and her crew. Somehow knowing this was all real, brought a cheeky grin to Clarke’s face, as she looked forward to the oncoming days of the crew’s stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Chapters soon!


	5. ABC Lexa Woods, The Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa reveals a little more about herself to the crew of the A.R.K 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know the chapter title is weird, but I arranged Lexa's Starfleet positions so the first three spell out ABC and thought it was funny... A mistakes are mine

Clarke stood off to one corner of the meeting room next to Raven as they weren’t the heads of their departments but had gone on the rescue mission. Octavia had returned to the helm as she was the Communications Officer (only after Clarke had promised to fill her in on everything she missed). Bellamy sat at his spot at the table, along with her mother and all the other Chief Officers. Jaha and Kane sat at the head of the table that faced the front of the room, where four members of the U.S.S Grounder stood straight with their chins held high and hands clasped behind their back. 

Since beaming aboard the crew had removed their coats, and Clarke had been shocked to see them all in similar uniforms, a red sash tied around Lexa’s waist the only indicator of any sort of rank among them. Their Medical Officer, Nyko, did have a white band around his upper bicep, but other than that the crew all wore tight fitting forest green shirts with black sleeves, and fitted black pants. 

Now, as they stood in front of her own crew, Clarke could see the clear differences between an Exploration crew, and a Federation crew. None of her crewmates were out of shape, but Clarke’s own soft curves were nothing in comparison to the toned figures before her. Even their healer, Nyko, had abs and defined arms. 

Lincoln was by far, the most muscular of them all, and Clarke wondered why he was their Intelligence Officer and not Chief of Security. From head to toe the man had bulging muscles. Not the kind that made a person look gross, or veiny, or ugh, but enough that Clarke really wanted to be on his good side. He was the tallest person in the room, maybe the same height as Jaha, but he had a air of warmth about him. His full lips were drawn in a tight line, but his dark brown eyes seemed warm. His entire body was a dark tan, and his head shaved down to a fine stubble except for the strip down the middle which was a little longer than all the rest. Clarke could see why Octavia was drawn to him, he was her type. However, for Clarke, he was a little on the big side. To much muscle, and a little too tall. 

Nyko seemed to be much like Lincoln, his eyes were warm though the hard lines on his face showed he was weathered. Unlike Lincoln a dark brown beard the same colour as his hair adorned his face. His was by far the least muscular of the group, but still held himself in a manner that gave off intimidation. 

Completely opposite of the two men was the First Officer, Anya. She was all sharp angles and strong stares. There were distinct definition in her arms and legs, and through her shirt Clarke could make out the lines of her abs. Her slim-catlike eyes were dark and gave nothing away. She had light brown hair with blonde accents that fell neatly over her shoulders in braids, showing her flat, straight nose, and high cheekbones. Clarke knew she was pretty, but couldn’t find what Raven had immediately saw in her as everyone in the room seemed to pale when in comparison to Lexa. 

Everytime Lexa moved, Clarke had to stifle a whimper at the play of muscle the action caused. (Raven and Octavia had much of the same problem when it came to Anya and Lincoln). She was a little taller than Clarke herself and much leaner. From under her criminally tight shirt Clarke could make out the outlines of her abs and the jutted points of her hips. And her legs. Clarke swore they went on forever. However, she found herself once again staring into the bright circles of green, that were her eyes. 

“Welcome aboard the A.R.K 100, I’m Thelonious Jaha, Captain of this ship.” Clarke almost laughed when he puffed out his chest at his own title, having not yet heard that he was in the presence of an Admiral. Lexa’s lips twitched up in a barely contained smirk and Clarke had to press her legs together. She mentally cursed herself "I’ve only just met this woman today. She shouldn’t have this kind of power over me, but dammit she does things to me." 

“I’m Admiral Lexa Woods, this is my First Officer Anya Woods, my Chief Medical Officer Nyko, and Intelligence Officer Lincoln Woods,” her smirk growing when she saw how Jaha slumped in his seat in the presence of such authority.

Abby’s brows furrowed, “A family? You must have been very lucky to all be in the same ship together, I was only able to get my daughter on board because I’m familiar with the Captain. I hadn’t realized it was up to Federation Code to have family members amongst the crew of a Federation ship.” 

Clarke had thought of it, but mostly wondered how they were all so young. Before she could voice such concerns, Kane beat her to it, “And you’re all so young too.” 

At the mention of a daughter from Abby, Lexa’s eyes flicked up to meet Clarke’s and Clarke wanted to melt under the woman’s hard stare. At first she wondered how Lexa’s knew Abby was her mother, as they didn’t look much alike, but chalked it up to the Admiral being much smarter than she had originally thought. It seemed nothing slipped from those observant eyes of hers. 

Lexa’s smirk was now borderline impish as she replied, “They’re on my ship because I gave the order for them to be.” 

There were gasps from a few members of the room, however it was a confused Abby who spoke in the end. “But that would have to mean…” 

When she didn’t finish her sentence, Lexa did for her. “Sorry, I don’t usually use my full, official title, as it’s a little lengthy. My full title is; Admiral Base Commander Alexandria Woods, Commander of the Federation Starfleet.” 

Clarke gawked, like everyone else in the room, at the admission of Lexa’s full title. Clarke wasn’t as much surprised that the position was hers, but just surprised someone could have so many titles in one name. 

Slowly, Kane rose from his seat and gave Lexa a somewhat awestruck salute. Lexa’s chin inclined furth and she gave a slight, sharp nod, to which he sat back down. 

“We do thank you for your hospitality,” Lexa commented after a silence settled over Clarke’s crew. 

Recovering from his shock, Jaha nodded a few times, “O-of course, we’ll get you back to your ship as soon as possible.” He straightened up in his chair, “In the meantime, I’ll have some of my crew show you to spare rooms, and then get my medical staff to run a few quick scans to ensure you aren’t bringing aboard any strange diseases to the ship.” 

Lexa nodded her thanks but narrowed her eyes at the mention of a medical scan, however she said nothing. “Might I offer a suggestion in regards to traveling to my ship?”

Abby nodded, “Of course. You’re more familiar with this sector I presume?”

After a nod, “Yes. As you are probably aware, there is a small scuffle in the outer sections of this sector, to avoid drawing attention to your ship I suggest not using hyperspeed. However, I wish not to overstay our welcome as that would extend the journey a good week or so.”

Abby looked over to Jaha and Marcus, and shared a look with them, before turning back to Lexa, “I think that would be for the best.” 

Lexa nodded, “Then should you ship encounter any danger my crew and I will assist you to the best of our ability to ensure your crew comes to no harm.” 

Clarke had been watching the interaction between her mother and Lexa when she noticed Finn growing more and more agitated. 

“Oh, you mean more so than already? We have a man with an arrow through his chest in our med bay!” Finn nearly shouted. Before Jaha, Kane, or Abby could tell him to be quiet The First Officer had crossed the space between herself and Finn and had her blade against his throat.

“It would do you well to learn to hold your tongue before I cut it out!” she hissed, as Finn tried to sink further into his seat. 

“Enough!” Lexa shouted, “Anya, back down. We are guests. If he wishes to say something to me he may say it.” Almost as quick as she had come Anya left Finn’s space and returned to her spot by Lexa’s side. Noticeably angrier than before, as her scowl was deeper.

Abby looked relieved at Lexa’s intervention, “Thank you for your understanding, Commander. I’m sure you understand he’s just a boy and-” 

“However, should you have said that to me on my own ship I would have let Anya do as she would with you. Understood?” Lexa said, voice steading as she fixed Finn with a death stare. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, just barely managing a nod.

Abby frowned at having been interrupted, but due to the difference in rank, said nothing. 

Jaha called over his comm, and a crew member Clarke was not familiar with led Lexa had her crew to the spare rooms. After they left Abby immediately entered a heated discussion with Kane and Jaha, and Clarke found herself pulled into a conversation with Raven. 

“Okay, is it just me, or is everyone from their crew like, unnaturally hot?” Raven asked, a grin on her face. 

“Oh please, you’re obviously only interested in the First Officer. Probably more so after she showed Finn up,” Clarke responded. 

Raven’s smile grew more, “Oh, but of course. It’s not everyday you get to see a hot high-ranking woman hold a blade to your cheating bastard of an ex.” 

It was true. Finn had cheated on Raven with Clarke, unbeknownst to Clarke at the time, and had only remained within their friend group because he was friends with Bellamy. Much to Octavia’s displeasure. 

“Plus, it’s not like you weren’t drooling over the Commander,” Raven offhandedly replied, and Clarke felt her cheeks heat up. 

“Shit, you don’t think she noticed, do you?” Clarke internally panicked that the very observant woman had somehow picked up on her emotions. 

Raven laughed, “I dunno Princess, it’s not like you were being very subtle about it.” 

Clarke left the room, cheeks ablaze, headed down to the med bay to prepare for the medical scans of the crew later. A cackling Raven behind her.


	6. Nightblood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's another chapter! Thanks to all of you who've left kudos or even just bothered to read this. I'm not sure what my schedule for posting will be, as I'm a student currently, but I will try to get chapters out as soon as possible. Guess who figured out how to italicize text? ME! Also all mistakes are mine, I didn't really proof read this chapter because I didn't want to post it too late, so sorry if you come across so weird-not-really-English sentences in here. Comments, questions, concerns? Leave 'em down below! I'll try to answer every comment! :)

Clarke paced the medbay waiting for one of the members of the U.S.S Grounder to show up. When she had first stepped into the med bay her mother had asked her if she would do the scans on the crew, since they knew her. Clarke had argued back that they only knew her maybe twenty minutes more than her mother had, but in the end agreed to do it if only to get to see Lexa again.

 

There was a soft knock on the door before it swung open, and Clarke whirled around to see Lincoln standing in the doorway, Octavia right behind him. Clarke shot Octavia a grin over his shoulder to which Octavia responded with her middle finger. 

 

Lincoln stepped into the med bay and gave Clarke a friendly smile, which Clarke returned.  

 

“Hei, klark. So chit laik osir doing hir?” he asked, in a language Clarke had never heard before. From the other corner of the room she heard mother gasp. “Sorry, my apologies. I forgot it is not common to speak Trigedasleng.”

 

Just as Clarke was about to ask, her mother spoke for her, “I’m impressed, no many people know that old language.” 

 

Lincoln smiled, “It is still taught in Triku today. English is my second language.” 

 

Clarke wanted to ask more, but held her tongue in favor of doing a scan on Lincoln. “So, I just need to take a small blood sample that’s it.” 

 

He nodded and held out his arm, while Clarke carefully inserted the needle. Afterward, when she turned back to him, she was faced with another tube of blood. 

 

“Um, who’s is this?” she asked, not daring to take the bottle of random blood. 

 

Lincoln laughed lightly, and Clarke knew at that moment no matter how impassive he was around the Commander he was actually really friendly. Which, now that she thought about it was probably why he was the Intelligence Officer. 

 

“It’s Nyko’s. He took his own as not to waste any of your supplies.” 

 

Clarke thanked him, laughing at the fact their Medical Officer had drawn his own blood. In a way, it reminded her of something her mother might do. 

 

As she was entering in the test results to the computer, the med bay door swung open and Anya all but stalked in. 

 

Clarke turned to face her, needle in hand, and no words were exchanged as she drew her blood. The permanent scowl that seemed etched onto Anya’s face never moved when Clarke drove the needle into her arm. It was a little unnerving how the woman kept her eyes trained on Clarke’s face, and when she looked up at the other woman, she had no choice but to make eye contact. 

 

There was a long, tense moment of science, then Anya turned away and walked out the door. Clarke let out a sigh as the other woman left, and only dared speak when she was certain she was down the hallway.  

 

“Why does she hate me so much?” she asked to no one in particular. 

 

She was surprised when her mother answered, “It’s probably because you were eyeing her Commander the entire meeting.” 

 

Clarke’s mouth made a “o” shape, and she turned to face her mother. Right as she was about to make a retort of “No I wasn’t”  _ yes, I was.  _ There was a soft knock on the door. Much softer than Lincoln's, and the door didn’t open. 

 

Clarke eyed her mother with a raised brow. Abby’s face was set into a frown of confusion as she answered the knock, “Come in?” 

 

The door slid open to reveal Lexa, hands clasped behind her back, which was ramrod straight. Clarke knew she should find Lexa’s constant formality annoying, or at the very least, strange, but for some reason she found it endearing and it made her smile.  

 

“Commander,” Clarke said in way of greeting, although the title sounded strange on her lips. 

 

Lexa opened her mouth, then closed it into a frown as her eyebrows bunched together.  _ Jesus, give me strength, that’s too adorable _ . Then tried to stop thinking  _ because I shouldn’t be thinking that about a potential co-worker. We count as co-workers, right? _

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t actually know your name,” Lexa said with a guilty look, that looked genuine which shocked Clarke. “And it’s just Lexa.”  

 

Clarke gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile, “Clarke.” Meanwhile butterflies were attempting to kill her from the inside out at the fact that she was allowed to use _just_ Lexa’s name. 

 

The corner of Lexa’s mouth curved upward, in which Clarke was learning was her smile. Her smile that showed more in the startling green eyes, than those plump kissable lips of hers. And, ok, Clarke let her mental monologue stop there, because it wasn’t going to end anywhere good.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa tested out the name on her lips and Clarke’s knees went weak and she let out a small whimper (that she  _prayed_ Lexa didn't hear) at the way Lexa’s tongue clicked on the “k” over pronouncing it slightly. “May I come in? Unless, of course, you plan to do your examination from over there?”  

 

Clarke’s cheeks flushed, and she motioned for Lexa to come in as she turned around to try and compose herself and prepare the needle to draw Lexa’s blood. 

 

“Clarke,” her mother called, and Clarke looked over her shoulder at her, “I’m going to go to the mess hall to get something to eat. You okay here alone?” 

 

Clarke nodded, then her mother slipped out the door leaving her and Lexa alone, except for Jasper in the corner of the room, under heavy sedatives.    

 

“Come have a seat,” Clarke gestured to the metal examination table that Lexa obediently sat on. Clarke moved forward and without looking, moved to get closer to Lexa. When she looked back up from the needle she had finished preparing, she found herself in between Lexa’s legs, and staring into bright green eyes. “May I, see your...arm?” Clarke asked, relieved when her voice didn’t show how flustered she was at their proximity. 

 

“Why?” Lexa asked, eyeing the needle in Clarke’s hands warily. 

 

“I need to draw a small sample of your blood to-” 

 

“No,” Lexa immediately cut off, a note of finality in her tone. 

 

Clarke stood stock still, shocked.  _ She’s not...afraid of  _ needles  _ is she?  _ “Um, no?” Clarke asked, hoping maybe she’d just heard wrong, or Lexa was playing a joke on her. 

 

A slight shake of the head, “No.” 

 

Clarke didn’t know what to do. Without running the tests, she couldn’t confirm Lexa wasn’t harboring any diseases, and therefore couldn’t clear her to be on the ship. But, it wasn’t like they had anywhere to put her, right? They couldn’t just drop her off on the nearest planet and forget about it….Right? 

 

“Uh, why...why not?” 

 

“I-” Lexa stopped, then looked away from Clarke  _ Oh my God, she’s afraid of needles _ . Lexa sighed, then looked at Clarke,  _ really  _ looked at her. From head to toe, and Clarke somehow felt the need that she  _ needed  _ to pass whatever test this was. 

 

Clarke didn’t know where she got the courage, why she felt the need, but said, “It’s okay. You can trust me.” 

 

There was a moment of silence. Lexa staring at Clarke, trying to find something deep within her eyes, Clarke staring back in almost defiance.

 

“Ok.” 

 

It took Clarke’s mind a moment to process Lexa had said anything at all, and when it did she felt a warm feeling in her chest.  _ She  _ managed to pass whatever test Lexa was running on her, and somehow, that made her feel special.

 

Clarke couldn’t help the smile that graced her lips, “May I see your arm?” 

 

Lexa eyes darted to the needle briefly, then she somewhat reluctantly lifted her arm to Clarke. Clarke lifted her eyes to Lexa’s for a moment, and then pushed the needle into Lexa’s arm. The woman’s eyes didn’t even twitch, but there was a small change in her eyes that showed Clarke she felt the prick of the needle.  _ She shows all her emotions in her eyes  _ Clarke thought. 

 

Just as Clarke was about to look down, Lexa’s other hand shot out to gently, yet firmly grip Clarke’s chin. A brief flash of anger went through Clarke’s mind, then evaporated when she looked at Lexa. Instead her heart shattered when she could visibly see Lexa pull her walls down. 

 

“Promise you won’t tell?” Lexa’s voice sounded small, uncertain. Clarke wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and hold her tight. “Please?” 

 

Clarke had no idea what she was agreeing to, but the almost broken way Lexa said “please”, in that moment she would have agreed to anything. Looking away from Lexa’s now dark and heavy green eyes, Clarke answered, “Ok.” 

 

Lexa visibly unwound, and sat on the table with her back slouched, and instead of going back to stoic, and indifferent, Lexa’s face remained open. Clarke came to the conclusion that Lexa was two different people. The Commander, who showed no mercy, no fear...and Lexa. The young woman currently sitting on her examination table. 

 

Clarke finally tore her eyes away from Lexa, without and resistance on the latter’s part this time, almost to drop the needle in her hands. Because Lexa’s blood was  _ black  _ and there wasn’t a trace of red in it. Clarke could only stare at the blood in her hands for a moment before she looked back up to Lexa. “I’m assuming you have a reason for this?” Clarke’s mind was already a whirlwind of ideas. Running through every disease and whether or not they might cause black blood, and how the  _ hell  _ Lexa wanted her to hide this, and just  _ how in the world does the Federation not know about this _ ?

 

“I do.”

 

Clarke looked up at Lexa and waited for any reason,  _ any  _ reason, why Lexa’s blood might be black. 

 

“What do you know of the Triku planet?” she asked. 

 

Clarke admittedly knew almost nothing of the planet other than it was basically a giant forest, and had the Starfleet base on it. Which, now that she thought about it, Lexa controlled. “Um, your Intelligence Officer, he mentioned something about it. The language, I think? Tride Slang?” 

 

A small chuckle escaped Lexa and amusement shone in her eyes, “Trigedasleng. Yes, that is the language of the Tree People.” 

 

Clarke was intrigued, “So, can you speak it?” 

 

Lexa laughed wholeheartedly this time, and Clarke wished she could listen to that sound forever. “Gon course, Klark. Em's the sleng gon ai kru pas hogeda.” 

 

Clarke decided she liked it better when Lexa spoke the language instead of Lincoln, and instantly realized Lexa pronounced her name almost the same in either language. Or, at least, she  _ thought  _ she’d said her name. It all just sounded like a bunch of pretty words to Clarke. After a moment she asked breathlessly, “What’d you say?” 

 

Lexa smiled warmly at her, “I said, ‘Of course, Clarke. It’s the language of my people after all’.”   

 

Clarke smiled then remembered what they were talking about, “What does this have to do with your...blood?” 

 

Lexa’s face harded and Clarke saw the brightness in her eyes dim. “Well, Triku is know for it’s high rates of Starfleet officers. Many Federation fighters come from my planet, but sometimes being natural fighters isn't enough to protect your planet. The planet is thought to have such lush forests due to a radiation spill that happened there years ago by some of the old Starfleet ships. After a while the people that lived there got used to it, and were able to survive. Years go by, and this radiation has seemingly no effect on it’s people. However, what people don’t know, is that every once in a while, a child is born that has been affected by the radiation.” Lexa paused, gather her thoughts, but Clarke already knew where this story was headed. “I was one of those children.

 

“We call ourselves Nightbloods. As Nightbloods, we’re prone to being a bit….enhanced. We think that radiation altered our blood so we were more likely to survive, which would explain why we have enhanced abilities.”     

 

Clarke didn’t know what to say. Here Lexa was, looking perfectly normal, but completely irradiated. The blonde opened and closed her mouth a few times before deciding to start with the simple questions. “Does it affect those around you?” 

 

A shake of the head, “No, it’s just me.” Clarke thought that sounded pretty lonely. 

 

“Does Starfleet know about this?” 

Lexa sighed, “Everyone who needs to know, knows.” The burnette suddenly looked tired. Worn out beyond exhausted, and older than she was. Clarke assumed this was something she needed to talk about more than she wanted to. 

 

“What do you mean by that?” 

 

“Well...the Senate, Anya, Lincoln, Titus, Nyko, and the other NIghtbloods...and you.” Lexa’s last words were almost a whisper, but Clarke heard them nonetheless. Because  _ she  _ was someone Lexa considered  _ needed  _ to know. Her heart fluttered at the thought. 

 

There was silence, Lexa looking both sick and relieved, Clarke trying to hide her blush. Eventually Clarke was able to rein in her emotions and asked, “So...you mentioned something about being...enhanced?” 

 

Lexa nodded, looking grateful for the subject change. “Most, if not all Nightbloods, are what we like to simplify down to, enhanced. Usually with things like heightened senses, extra strength, increased speed. Basically, just like humans, but double in almost everything.”

 

Clarke was appalled, “That’s…I-,” Lexa put a slender finger against Clarke’s lips, stopping the ramble before it began. Clarke was surprised at how  _ soft  _ it was, how warm. 

 

“Klark,” Clarke wanted to melt at the use of her natural language, “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” 

 

Lexa looked down at her with, was that admiration? In her eyes, and Clarke felt like it was just the two of them in the world. 

 

“Am I cleared?” 

 

Clarke had been staring at Lexa’s mouth, so she knew she’d said something. What, she had said however, was a mystery. 

 

“Um….I’m sorry, what?” she asked, cheeks heating up. 

 

Lexa smiled, amusement evident, “I asked if I was cleared.” 

 

Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed, “Cleared?” then she remembered they were in the middle of the med bay. “Cleared! Yeah, yeah you’re cleared. I’ll just enter into the system you’re good to good.” 

 

Lexa’s eyes warmed, “Thank you Clarke.” 

 

Clarke smiled, “Of course.” 

 

Lexa stayed on the table for a beat, before hopping down. The action brought Clarke and Lexa almost nose to nose, and Clarke could feel the ghost of her breath on her lips. Then, of course Jasper woke up and coughed, and Clarke looked over at him. Finding Lexa almost out the door when she looked back. Clarke looked down to the vial of blood in her hands, then to the door Lexa just went out. 

 

Somehow every time she thought the mystery of her was getting solved, another question was thrown into the mix. 

 

Or, maybe, Clarke just wanted there to always be something about Lexa she could learn. 

  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, more chapters soon! Anything I can do to make the character personalities better? Or their interactions with one another? Not only is this the first time I've posted anything I've written, but this is also my first time writing the 100. I'll except criticism with open arms, anything to make this story the best for you and our beloved characters!


	7. May I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always all mistakes are mine. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below!

Raven tossed the screwdriver she was using back into the bin of tools near her workstation, and tried to wipe some of the grease off her hands. Deciding on an early break Raven started making her way to the lounge area towards the center of the ship. On the way there, she passed the weight room.

 

Raven walked passed the door, stopped in her tracks, then backed up. Confusion was written all over her face when she heard the clinking of weights from within the room. When she looked in, she saw the first officer, Anya, on the bench press. Raven relaxed and leaned on the doorframe. After another ten or so reps (with Raven staring unabashedly at the scheme of sweat of Anya’s body and the way her arms flexed under the dumbbell) Anya spoke. 

 

“Make yourself useful and come over here and spot me,” she ordered, although not harshly.

 

Raven briefly thought about her chances of turning tail and running away, but decided spending time with the mysterious First Officer was worth the embarrassment of getting caught staring.   

 

Raven walked over to where Anya was currently lying, and lifted the dumbbell back onto the metal bars that held it suspended with some difficulty. Raven looked down at Anya, and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest and wondered how someone no bigger than herself could lift something so easily. 

 

“Thanks,” came a breathless voice that brought Raven back to reality. 

 

“Well, I was wondering who was in here. No one on our ship bothers to go in here but Bellamy and he was sorting something out in the hanger,” Raven replied, slipping into her usual aloof mood. 

 

Anya smirked, and Raven almost slipped on the wall she was leaning on, “Well, I just barely managed to find this room, I had to get some help. But, seeing as that help has long since gone, and I’m all sweaty now, do you think you could point me in the direction of the showers?” 

 

Raven’s mouth went dry.  _ Is she flirting with me? Because, holy shit, I don’t mind. I’ll give you a fucking tour of the whole damn ship if it’s what you want   _ “Um...there should be some in your quarters? They’ll suffice?”  _ What the hell is wrong with you Raven? What kinda response is that?  _

 

Anya stepped a bit closer and Raven licked her lips, “They’re just so  _ big  _ I don’t want to feel so  _ lonely _ after such a  _ scarring  _ event as being imprisoned.” With every emphasized word Anya took a step closer until Raven could feel the heat of her body against her own. 

 

“Well, I can help with that.” Raven didn’t know what possessed her to flirt back, but judging by the smirk on Anya’s lips and lack of iris left in her lust filled eyes, she was okay with it.  

 

Raven held her hand out for Anya to take and then started leading the First Officer down the hallways to her quarters. Raven found the situation she was in hard to believe, but even more confusing was the fact that Anya was interested in her too. Ever since their meeting in the prison, Raven wanted to know more about the sexy, yet stoic First Officer, but just tried to dismiss the thought  _ because there is no way in hell a girl like her wants anything to do with a girl like me _ . 

 

The door to her quarters slid open and Raven stepped in, the lights coming on automatically. Her room wasn’t huge but that didn’t mean there wasn’t space. A queen size bed was off to the left of the room, and the kitchen and bathroom were in the next room. There was a red couch facing a good size wall mounted TV that was hung on the back wall of the kitchen, and could easily be seen from the bed.  

 

A soft brush of fingers along Raven’s bicep brought her out of her thoughts about what they were about to do. Turning her head, Raven came face to face with Anya, who was gently looking at Raven, her fingers still gently grazing Raven’s arm. 

 

“We don’t have to do this, if you don’t want. I’d be just as happy to sit and watch something with you. Unless...you want me to go?” Anya was looking and Raven with a look of pure adoration that Raven got the impression she didn’t show often. In fact, now that they were behind closed doors, the woman in front of her was a far cry from the woman who had held a knife to Finn’s throat just a day before. 

 

Raven smiled, “Let’s start on the couch and see where things go?” Because even though Raven couldn’t deny wanted to lay down in her bed with Anya until their screams echoed off the walls, she didn’t want this to be a one and done. And she wasn’t about to make the same mistake of bed first and everything else later. 

 

Anya smiled brightly, and the only thing Raven found in her eyes was understanding and maybe a hint of relief at not outright being told to leave. 

 

“Lead the way.” 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The lights in the room were dimmed, and the forms of two women could be made out under the glow of the TV. 

 

Raven sat facing forward, right arm slung over the back of the couch, her left on the armrest as Anya was curled into her side. Just under her ribs, Raven could feel the gentle touch of Anya’s fingers as they traced an unknown pattern through her shirt, from the arm Anya had slung over her stomach. Anya’s head was nestled firmly in the space between Raven’s neck and shoulder, her breath gently tickling Raven’s exposed collarbone. When Raven had settled into the far end of the couch she hadn’t expected Anya to want to cuddle, but welcomed the position regardless. It came as a bit of a surprise that Anya was one, and cuddlier, and two, wanted Raven to hold her instead of the other way around. However, Raven offered no complaints as the most attractive woman she had ever seen was now sound asleep on her shoulder. 

 

The TV droned on in the background as Raven looked down fondly at the sleeping woman in her arms. A dopey smiled spread across her face, and she couldn’t help but run a hand through her hair, careful to avoid tugging on any of her numerous braids. The was a small whine and Raven watched as Anya’s dark brown eyes slowly opened. She looked around, a small flash of panic crossing her features before she felt Raven’s hand in her hair and instantly relaxed. 

 

“Well hey there sleeping beauty,” Raven jabbed, moving her hand from Anya’s hair to cheek. 

 

Anya sat up and stretched, her shirt riding up and gracing Raven with small sliver of tanned skin. A yawn, “How long was I out?” 

 

Raven smiled at their back and forth which had quickly become their playful dynamic, “Oh, just under the turn of the century.” A look from Anya, “Seriously, I think I was starting to become one with the couch!” 

 

Anya rolled her eyes, but let a smile grace her lips, “You have only yourself to blame.” 

 

Raven smirked, eyes alight with mischief, “Oh really? How so?”  

 

Anya smiled innocently and leaned back into Raven’s side, this time sitting on her knees. She placed a hand on Raven’s lower stomach, causing the Latina to draw in a sharp breath of air. Starting to walk her fingers up Raven’s torso, she looked at the girl with a devilish smirk on her lips. “Well, maybe if you weren’t so  _ damn comfortable _ .” 

 

Even in the darkness the light from the TV played across Anya’s face enough that Raven could see the look in her eyes. When a particularly dark scene in the movie they were watching engulfed the room in complete darkness, Raven felt the soft, warm press of lips against her own. Wasting no time in kissing back, Raven moved her left arm from the couch to Anya’s sharp jaw. 

 

Kissing Anya made Raven feel like she was running a marathon, but at the same time sitting in a pile of blankets in front of a blazing fire during the coldest of winter nights. It felt exciting and grounding at the same time. Light flying in the sky while never leaving the ground. 

 

When Anya’s tongue left a slow trail along Raven’s bottom lip, asking permission to enter, Raven wasted no time in tilting her head to deepen this kiss. A soft moan escaped Anya’s lips when Raven pushed harder against her, her hand gently but firmly tugging at the hair at the back of her neck at the same time. 

 

When they pulled apart for air, Raven waited a moment before opening her eyes. Anya was on her knees in front of her, breath coming out in short pants against Raven’s lips. 

 

“Bed?” Raven wasn’t sure who asked, but in the next moment Anya had her arms wrapped around Raven’s neck, and two smooth legs around her hips. Raven didn’t know where her strength came from, but she managed to carry Anya to the bed, and sat down on the edge. Anya straddled her waist, and kissed Raven with an intensity she’d never felt before. After a few more heated kissed Anya removed her lips from Raven’s, which made the mechanic whine, only to turn into a moan a minute later when Anya’s lips made contact with Raven’s neck. Raven could feel Anya sucking and biting down hard on the skin, only to run her tongue over it a moment later to sooth it. When Anya was satisfied with her work, she released the skin with a *pop* and Raven groaned at the thought of the dark spot that was surly forming there. 

 

Anya reattached her lips to Raven’s neck, making the other girl lean her head back to allow more access. Just as Raven was about to pull Anya’s head up for a proper kiss the other girl began to slowly grind against Raven’s lap, and  _ fuck just  _ **_fuck_ ** _ me already!  _

 

Raven allowed Anya to push her back against the mattress with a soft thump. The mechanic then watched as First Officer slowly crawled her way back up Raven's body, until she was straddling her waist again.  

 

Anya kissed her for a few more heated minutes, slowly increasing the pressure of her grinding before she tugged on the hem of Raven’s shirt and asked, “May I?”

 

Raven arched her back off the bed as Anya’s fingers slid under her shirt, but stopped, waiting for an answer. 

 

“Please.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! More chapters soon!! What do we wanna see next? Linctavia? More Ranya? Or Clexa?


	8. Raven F*cking Reyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You asked for more Clexa and Ranya? I have delivered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T READ OVER THIS AT ALL SO THERES PORBABY MORE MISTAKES THAN USUAL BECAUSE IT WAS LATE WHEN I WROTE THIS AND I DIDNT WANT TO BE A ZOMBIE IN SCHOOL. As always, all mistakes are mine. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below. Thanks for reading!

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

**_(Four Story Days Since Last Chapter)_ **

 

Clarke’s bare feet padded on the somewhat cold carpet of her living room. A steaming cup of coffee in her  _ “Worlds Best Dad”  _ cup that she had given to her father what seemed like a lifetime ago. She let out a soft sigh at the memory, and settled onto her teal blue couch, her feet folded beneath her. 

 

There was a knock at her door, and Clarke almost spilt her coffee at the noise. She set the cup down and looked herself over in her blank TV screen. Clarke was dressed in a form-fitting white V-neck, and old light grey sweats.  _ I really hope this is one of my friends  _ she silently prayed. 

 

Another knock sounded on the door, and Clarke growled, “Be right there!” When she reached the door, pressing the button so it opened with a *woosh* she wasn’t surprised to see Raven. 

 

“What the hell do you want so early in the Goddamn morning?” Clarke spit, her voice laced with annoyance. 

 

“Good morning to you too Griff. Anyway, I need to talk to you, Octavia's on her way. I think,”  Raven replied by way of greeting, pushing past Clarke and into her quarters. 

 

“What about?” Clarke asked.  _ It’s too early for this kinda shit. _

 

“What about what?” Raven asked, looking towards Clarke as she unceremoniously flopped on her couch.  __

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “What did you want to talk about?” 

 

Raven shifted on the couch, and Clarke became slightly concerned at seeing Raven lose her confidence. 

 

“I...I wanted to talk to you about Anya. And, like, maybe asking her to maybe be my girlfriend.” Raven stuttered in an uncharacteristically soft and uncertain voice.

 

“ _ What! _ ” a voice sounded from the doorway. Clarke whirled around to see Octavia in her doorway. 

 

Raven seemed to shrink into herself, “Is it too soon? It’s too soon isn’t it. Yeah, you’re right, it’s too soon. Nevermind. Can we just forget this?”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, Raven,” Clarke sat down on the couch next to her best friend, “Yes, it’s a little soon, but, like, it’s all about what feels right too. If this feels right, go for it.” 

 

Octavia sat down on the armrest on Raven’s other side, mumbling something about  _ “Lesbian U-Hauls”,  _ “Well, you guys have been practically attached at the hip since you had sex, what three days ago?”

 

Raven smiled, “Four for the first time, however, the second and-” 

 

“Okay! That’s enough about that. Plus, Octavia’s right. You too have been hanging out a lot recently, and I  _ swear  _ those are the only time’s I’ve ever seen Anya smile.” Clarke cut off. 

 

Raven scoffed, “You’re just jealous  _ The Commander  _ hasn’t taken you to bed yet.”  

 

Clarke’s cheeks flushed, “Hey, Octavia hasn’t made a move on Lincoln yet!” 

 

Octavia flushed then smiled tentatively, “Well...actually-”  

 

Raven burst out laughing, “HAH!” 

 

“When?” Clarke asked, having not heard of this “gossip” yet. 

 

Octavia blushed harder, “Last night.”  

 

Raven leaned forward on her elbows, “Clarke, you need to get a move on!

 

Clarke looked at Octavia, “Are you guys…?” 

 

Octavia looked down again, “No, we just, had a little fun...but it’s definitely not a one and done kinda thing.”  

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke waited outside the meeting room where she knew Lexa was having a conference with Marcus. 

 

“Clarke?” 

 

Turning around, Clarke was met with a questioning look from her mother. “Oh, uh...hey mom.” 

 

“Clarke, what are you doing here?” Abby asked. Apparently whatever she was doing wasn’t super important as she could afford to stand and play twenty questions with her daughter. 

 

Clarke knew whatever little white lie she told her mother would most likely see through, so she told the truth. “I’m waiting for Lexa.” 

 

Abby hummed, a knowing look in her eyes that Clarke couldn’t decipher  _ because yeah. Lexa is hot, and I really really really wants to kiss her, but that's just a normal reaction to seeing hot people right? It’s not like I  _ like  _ her or anything...Right? _

 

“Clarke?” there was an distinctive voice from behind her, and Clarke spun around to come face to face with intense green eyes. 

 

“L-Lexa!” Clarke squeaked, hating how just one look could have her flustered like this. 

 

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Abby said through barely contained laughter, “Marcus! Might I have a word?” And just like that Abby was pushing past a grinning Lexa and into the meeting room throwing questions at Marcus left and right. 

 

There was silence for a moment before Lexa cleared her throat, “So, Clarke?”

 

Clarke tore her gaze from the spot where her mother stood only moments before, “Yes?” 

 

It was barely a whisper, but Lexa’s eyes were sparkling all the same, “I was about to head to your weight room for a quick work out. Care to join?” 

 

Clarke took a minute to process the question, and what Lexa was asking. Because she would  _ never  _ be caught  _ dead  _ in a weight room. 

 

But Lexa in tight spandex? 

 

Now that, that was something Clarke could get behind. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Raven POV_ **

 

Raven  _ never  _ lost her confidence. Not when speaking in front of crowds. Not when asking people out. Not when breaking up with someone. Not when flirting. Not when defusing bombs. Not when doing  _ anything _ . 

 

Asking Anya to be her girlfriend?  _ Or just talking to her in general?  _

 

Raven was terrified. Her palms were sweaty, and cold at the same time, and no matter what wouldn’t stop shaking slightly. Her stomach felt like an endless pit, and  _ everything  _ seemed to be happening all at once but somehow  _ impossibly slow.  _

 

_ What the hell is wrong with me?  _

 

Raven’s closed fist was raised, poised about three inches away from Anya’s door. Six yellow tulips only  _ slightly  _ bent from her death grip on them, behind her back.  _ C’mon Raven, it’s just a door. You’ve faced worse. Remember when you found Finn cheating on you with Clarke? And you thought your life was going to end? Well, that didn’t stop you. C’mon! Get a grip! You grew up without any parents! You’re Raven goddamn Reyes! The badass Latina mechanic, knock on that door and get your scrawny ass in there!  _ Raven didn’t know how to feel about her inner conscience that sounded suspiciously like Octavia calling her ass scrawny, but it did the job. Raven’s closed fist rasped on the door three quick, sharp times. 

 

The door opened to reveal Anya in light grey sweats, and a baggy red t-shirt that Raven thought looked a lot like her own. Her light brown hair and caramel/blonde accents alike were tousled and her eyes squinted from the light of the hallway. 

 

Raven thought she looked like an angel. 

 

Wordlessly, Raven thrust the tulips into Anya’s chest, opening her mouth to let out a small, pitiful, squeak before turning around, and, for all intents and purposes,  _ fleeing.  _

 

Anya’s eyes widened in surprise when yellow flowers were shoved into her chest, and her lips turned up slightly at Raven’s small noise. However, after her initial shock, Anya grabbed Raven’s writ before she could leave. 

 

In an instant, Raven was in Anya’s quarters, with her lips on her own. Morning breath be damned. 

 

Anya pulled back just a bit to lean past Raven’s lips and towards her ears. Raven’s eyes fluttered shut as Anya let out a breathless

 

“ _ Yes _ .”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

Clarke felt like her lungs were going to implode. 

 

The blonde felt like they’d been at it for  _ hours _ , but knew it must not have been anything thing more that twenty minutes. But  _ dammit _ if the treadmill Clarke was running on wasn’t hard enough, having Lexa next to her in nothing but a tight black sports bra and skimpy gym shorts that didn’t leave much to the imagination, took working out to a  _ whole  _ new level. 

 

Logically, Clarke knew Lexa technically, somewhat biologically enhanced, but at the speed she was running Clarke doubted that was  _ all  _ genetics. Granted, Clarke had her’s on the third lowest setting, but even she knew Lexa was running fast. Chancing another glance at her companion, glances that were seriously damaging to her meatal stability, Clarke saw that her treadmill setting was on  _ is that a fucking 32? Can treadmills even go that fucking high?  _

 

Next to her, Lexa had barely broken a sweat, even though Clarke herself was drenched. Not only was Lexa not sweating, but she wasn’t breathing hard either. In fact, she made it look  _ easy.  _ Clarke looked down and watched the way the muscles in Lexa’s leg tensed then released with every step she took.  _ Look away. You know what that’s going to do to you. The last thing you need is to fall and bust your ass in front of Lexa.  _

 

Clarke pulled the safety-fall key from her treadmill, it stopping almost instantly, before she gave herself the chance to fall. Taking a minute to catch her breath, let the room stop spinning, and let her vision clear, Clarke leaned over the side of her treadmill. 

 

“O-o-ohkhay, LHex. I-Hive gotta stop.” Despite giving herself a minute to catch her breath, Clarke’s words still came out breathy and choppy. Clarke waited a minute, the looked up from her shoes, her brows furrowed. “Lex?”  _ Lex? Where the hell did that nickname come from?  _ Looking at Lexa more closely, Clarke noticed the tight way Lexa’s jaw was set, and how her gaze seemed to be fixed on something far away. 

 

Walking around to the front of Lexa’s treadmill, Clarke saw the faraway look in Lexa’s eyes that were filled with panic. Lexa wasn’t running, Lexa was running  _ from  _ something and the thought almost broke Clarke’s heart. “Lexa!” 

 

All at once Lexa was snapping back to reality, shaking her head and pulling the key on her treadmill before jumping  _ over  _ the front of the damn thing and looking Clarke over. “Clarke! Are you okay?”

 

Concern laced her voice, “I’m fine. Are  _ you  _ okay?” 

 

:exa visibly relaxed and shook her head, “Sorry, I was just caught up in my head.” 

 

Clarke a gently smile, hesitantly reaching out to touch Lexa’s lean shoulder. Her fingertips feeling like they were on fire from the action. “Hey, it’s okay. We all have are demons.”

 

Lexa looked at Clarke, then looked to the hand on her shoulder that Clarke refused to move. “Just thinking about things,  _ people _ ...just the past. I’m sorry.” 

 

The fact that Lexa looked genuinely guilty made Clarke feel sick, “No, no you don’t have to be sorry. I just wanted to know it you were okay, or I you just needed to talk or something.” 

 

There was a moment, where Clarke was afraid Lexa would run. Her eyes darted around the room and honed in on the exit, however, she didn’t. Instead, Lexa looked back at Clarke, her head slightly tilted down, and stepped into Clarke’s open arms.  _ When  _ Clarke’s body had raised her arms without her brain knowing was beyond her, however she was glad she did it. 

 

Because hugging Lexa was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life. 

 

The way her strong arms wrapped around Clarke’s ribs, and how her head slipped into the small space between her own elbow and Clarke’s head like it was always meant to be there. It only took Clarke a moment before she was wrapping her arms around Lexa’s slim form and holding her like it would kill her to let go. 

 

Clarke thought maybe it would.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters soon! (Again, sorry if there were a ton of mistakes or things that didn't make since, I just didn't have the energy to revise the whole thing. World History is draining me of my life, energy, and free time)


	9. Scars To Your Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Just fluff from all our favorite couples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey...so been gone a while. I've had to write a lot of essays and didn't have the energy to write anything else, so sorry. Also, I know my last chapter looked like I wrote it with my eyes closed, sorry for all the spelling errors and stuff like that! I promise I've checked this over before posting. Also, in the meantime I wrote a quick little Pharamercy one-shot so check that out if you like them, it's called "Coffee Kisses". As always, mistakes are all mine. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below!

**_Raven’s POV_ **

 

Raven thought that waking up next to Anya was quite possibly the  _ best  _ way to start her mornings. 

 

Scratch that, Raven thought waking up to her  _ girlfriend  _ was the best way to start her mornings. Her pretty, strong, graceful, amazing,  _ grumpy- _

 

“ _ Ugh! _ Who the hell decided that there were mornings in space. Like actually  _ what the hell  _ why are there mornings in space!” Raven smirked to herself as Anya shoved her face further into the pillow and pulled the blanket up over her head. Raven laid there, just smiling like an idiot at her  _ girlfriend,  _ until she thought about what Anya had said, and frowned as she tried to think of a good reason  _ why  _ they technically had to get up on “mornings” in space. The sheets ruffled next to her until she was pulled out of her revere by a calloused, yet soft, hard caressing her cheek. Raven turned into the touch, and found herself looking into Anya’s dark brown eyes that seemed to glow with her small smile. “What are you thinking about so hard over there? I could practically here you from under all these blankets.” 

 

Raven smiled and shifted onto her side, “Why are you so far away anyway?” Anya hooked her right arm around Raven’s torso and pulled her flush against herself. Raven melted into the touch immediately, tucking her head under Anya’s chin and placing as soft kiss on the smooth warm skin she found there. 

 

Anya placed an accompanying kiss on the top of Raven’s head and pushed her nose into her hair, “You never answered my question.” 

 

Raven sighed at her ever observant girlfriend, not annoyed in the slightest but simply relishing in the fact that she would never be able to hide her feelings from the other woman. “I was thinking about the space thing, and wondering when you got so smart.” 

 

Anya pushed herself back, feigning annoyance “Bitch, I was  _ always  _ a genius.” 

 

And just like that the moment was gone and they were back to annoying each other. 

 

Raven loved it. 

 

The thought scared her, but maybe she liked it. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Octavia's POV_ **

 

Octavia had just gotten off of a long shift and was currently making a cup of coffee in the crew lounge. Just as she was starting to nod off waiting for the water the brew, two strong arms wrapped tightly around her waist and a stubbly face pressed into her neck. Smiling, Octavia immediately recognized the arms belonging to Lincoln and leaned into his touch. Straightening up to his full height, Octavia rested her head back against his broad chest and inhaled his musky scent. 

 

“You seem tired.” It was a statement, not a question and Octavia enjoyed the rumble the words created in Lincoln’s chest. 

 

“Yeah, I had a long shift and just got off.”

 

Lincoln gave her a squeeze, “Your coffee is going to get cold if you leave it sit for much longer.” Octavia looked down at her now room temperature cup of coffee, wondering when such an amount of time had passes. “C’mon, I’ll carry you back to your quarters.” 

 

Who was Octavia to say no? 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa since the awkward yet peaceful moment in the weight room. After they shared an embrace Clarke had been called to relieve one of the other nurses that had been watching over Jasper. 

 

Clarke had spent roughly and hour pondering her “moment”  _ ‘If that’s what you can call it’   _ before a small child and wandered into the med bay. The A.R.K allowed it’s crew to have immediate family members on board, as well as spouses and Clarke knew the boy to belong to one the engineering members. 

 

Kneeling down in front of the small boy Clarke spoke softly, “Hey, can I help you?” 

 

The boy looked at Clarke with wide eyes, “I scraped my knee and was wondering if you had a bandaid?” Clarke smiled at the young boy, who she guessed was about seven, relieved when she learned nothing was seriously wrong with him. 

 

“Of course, here, sit here a moment and I’ll go grab one.” Clarke hoisted the boy up by his armpits and set him on the metal table behind her. “Be right back.” 

 

When Clarke had her back turned as she was rummaging through the storage looking for a kid’s bandage she heard the door *woosh* open. Paying no mind to it Clarke just assumed it was her mom or another nurse. 

 

“Clarke-” 

 

Clarke whirled around and was surprised to find Lexa standing in the door, then she saw the way Lexa was holding her side, and  _ then  _ she remembered the boy.  _ ‘Shit’ _

 

Lexa, oh wonderful, sweet, charming Lexa, strode into the room like nothing was wrong and plopped down onto the table next to the boy. 

 

He looked up to her with unabashed admiration, his eyes wide and mouth dropped in shock. 

 

“Hey there little man. What landed you in here?” Lexa spoke to the boy like he was her longtime friend and smiled down gently at him. 

 

Registering that he was being spoken to the boy shook his head and looked back up at Lexa. “I was playing soccer with my friend Rudy and I tripped and scraped my knee. That nice nurse lady said she was going to get me a bandaid.” 

 

Lexa’s face lit up in what Clarke barely made out a false interest, “Soccer! That’s so cool! My First Officer and I used to play soccer when we were younger too. Maybe you’ll have to let me play with you sometime? It’s been quite a while since I’ve scored a goal.” 

 

The boy’s face lit up as his mouth widened into a face-splitting grin, “That’d be so cool! To have the Commander playing soccer with me!” 

 

By now Clarke had broken out of her initial shock and walked over to Lexa and the boy. “Alrighty, I found a bandaid, say, what’s your name?”

 

The boy smiled up at Clarke, “Connor.” 

 

Lexa laughed and placed a hand on the boy’s head, ruffling his hair, “He’s only kidding Clarke, he’s my new First Mate. Isn’t that right, Connor?” 

 

He smiled and answered in that way only kids could. Full of innocence and happiness, “Yeah!” 

 

Clarke placed the bandaid on Connor’s knee and after a thanks from him and a promise to play soccer soon from Lexa, Connor left. 

 

Clarke and Lexa stared at each other for a moment before Clarke cleared her throat, “So, what brought you here?” 

 

Lexa smirked, “Can’t I just drop by and say hello?” 

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Probably not. Plus I saw the way you’re holding your side, what’s up?” 

 

Lexa looked down at the floor, not meeting Clarke’s eyes. She sheepishly answered, “I was wondering if you could remove this?” 

 

Lexa moved her hand away from her side and pulled her shirt up. At first Clarke was confused and distracted by seeing so much of Lexa’s perfectly sun touched skin and a peek of her abs. However, Clarke soon noticed a small glint of metal protruding from Lexa’s side. 

 

“Lexa! What the hell is that?” Clarke’s eyes widened as she looked at what she thought was an arrow head in Lexa’s side. 

 

“Um...it’s an arrow head. I was in your ship’s simulation room and accidently got hit with an arrow while I was distracted.” 

 

Clarke’s brows furrowed, “We have a simulation room?” 

 

Lexa smirked, amused, “Yes. It’s regulation every ship have one in case Starfleet passengers are aboard and need use of the room.” 

 

Clarke hummed, “I thought you healed fast, why hasn’t this closed up?” 

 

Lexa looked down at the floor again, “It can’t heal unless the arrow head is removed and I thought I would make use of the more conventional ways to remove such a thing than just pulling it straight out.” 

 

Clarke looked at Lexa with mild horror as she tried to process what she was hearing, “So what, if we were on your ship Nyko would just yank this out?” 

 

Deep in thought Lexa looked up at Clarke, “Not quite, however I usually tend to my own wounds and was wondering if you could teach me a easier, less messy way to remove the item.” 

 

Clarke shook her head and decided to get the arrow head out first and comment later. “I’m afraid there isn't much else I can do to get it out besides pulling it out. But I can give you some numbing agents and then hook up the tissue replacer so it won’t leave a scar.”

 

“Why would you want to stop scarring?” the way Lexa asked the question to Clarke aback. She said it with such conviction, like stopping scarring was the equivalent of Clarke spontaneously growing a third arm and only speaking backwards. 

 

“Well, that’s just the norm. No one really wants scars left behind. People think they’re ugly.” Clarke was careful not to say that  _ she too  _ thought they were a bit barbaric, because she thought that would sit the wrong way with Lexa. 

 

Turing her chin up, Lexa looked down at Clarke like she was something she found on the bottom of her boot. “And what about you, Clarke? What do you think of,  _ scars _ .” 

 

Clarke took a moment, they tried to picture Lexa with scars she  _ knew  _ she had to have, except failed to come up with a Lexa that looked anything less than a pirate. “I-Y’know, I don’t know. I don’t think I’d want any...but, maybe they work for some people?” 

 

There was a beat of silence, then Lexa started to move. At first Clarke thought she was going to leave, but then she was pleasantly surprised to see Lexa pulling up the hem of her shirt. Clarke’s mouth dried out at she watched Lexa remove her shirt in slow motion. “Um...Lexa? What are you doing?” 

 

For her part, Lexa smirked and didn’t answer until her shirt was laying on the table behind her. “Well,  _ Klark _ , do scars… _ ’work for me’ _ ?” 

 

Clarke scanned over what she could see of Lexa, which sadly wasn't a lot as she had a tank top under her shirt. However, now Clarke could see her toned arms, which  _ did  _ things to her that arms shouldn’t be able to do without  _ actually touching  _ her. 

 

Once Clarke stopped ogling Lexa’s toned arms and collar bones, that _ ‘Oh. My. God. I really want to kiss her collar bones’ _ , Clarke noticed the plethora of scars the lined Lexa’s arms.

 

Some were white, some pink, some a darker tan, the color showing their age. Some were long, others short, and a few reaching what Clarke guessed to be around seven inches. Most were smooth and looked straight, others were a bit more ragged and a little more raised. Without knowing it Clarke had stepped in between Lexa’s knees again and was reaching her hand out to touch a small tan scar on Lexa’s bicep. When Clarke caught herself she started to pull away, then made eye contact with Lexa who nodded her consent. Clarke didn’t know what had drawn her to the scar, it was by far the smallest and due to how tan it was was one of the oldest too. It was on the middle of Lexa’s left bicep, which meant Clarke could use her, dominant, left hand to touch it. When Clarke made contact with the scar it felt smooth under her touch, and familiar.

 

Lexa looked down at the scar Clarke had been drawn to and smiled, which went unnoticed by Clarke whose gaze was focused on Lexa’s arm. “That was my first one. Anya gave it to me actually.” Clarke looked up at Lexa at the new tidbit of information, her breath catching at their sudden closeness. Their noses were almost touching and with every exhale a Lexa’s breath came a puff of air on Clarke’s lips. “She taught me how to wield a sword. Practically raised me, that one.”

 

Clarke just started at the woman in front of her. Looked deep into her green eyes which were darker in color than her own, but always seemed to look brighter to Clarke. (But they were always bright when Lexa looked at Clarke, and Clarke wasn’t anyone else so she wouldn’t know different) To the woman who made scars look like they were trophies. Whose tattoo Clarke wanted to trace until she could draw the design by memory. 

 

To her full lips that had that  _ perfect  _ natural pout that Clarke was dying to kiss. 

 

Lexa must have sensed her inner distress as she closed the distance between them and pressed her lips into Clarke like it was her last day on earth. Her lips that seemed  _ impossibly soft  _ slotting with Clarkes like they were each a side of the same coin. 

 

The kiss was gentle, like a first kiss, but felt like a last kiss. Clarke could practically  _ taste  _ the emotion on her lips and that taste only got stronger when Lexa gently stuck her tongue into Clarke’s mouth. 

 

Clarke kissed her back, inhaling her musky scent that smelled like trees and forest dirt after a steady rain. Her scent that made Clarke feel like she was cozily sitting under millions of blankets next to a fire in a cabin so deep into the woods that the walls oozed the smell of  _ earth _ . 

 

Lexa smelled,  _ was _ , grounding...but made Clarke feel like she was flying. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically everything I wanted to say was in the novel sized notes at the beginning of this chapter. Now that I don't have any major paper to write for school I should be able to get another chapter out soon but thank you for all those who have stuck with me so far. (and for reading all this) All your Kudus and comments are really supportive and I just wanna give a big "Thank You" to those who have read this. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! <3 -Megan


	10. "Klark."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Costia appears, anyone happy about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always all mistakes are mine. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below. Also I didn't reread this so please don't kill me if a five year old could have written it better, I'm sick and really didn't feel like rereading this.

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

Clarke sat on her couch and stared at the wall unblinking. The world felt like it was spinning impossibly fast, but somehow staying drop dead still. 

 

_ Lexa pulled away from Clarke, their lips disconnecting with a wet *pop* that made Clarke shiver. The look in Lexa’s eyes was predatory, her irises so black there was almost no green and Clarke had never seen something more attractive. Except then Lexa  _ fucking smirked  _ and Clarke learned that Lexa was just always going to be more beautiful then Clarke could imagine. Staring deep into Clarke’s eyes Lexa ran her tongue along her own bottom lip before biting down on it making Clarke wimper. Then, just like that, the moment was ruined by Kane’s voice over the incom. _

 

_ “Can I have Admiral Woods, First Officer Woods, Intelligence Officer Woods, and Medical Officer Nyko to the hanger bay, your ship has made contact.” _

 

_ Whatever little bubble Lexa and Clarke had been in popped, and with it came a sinking feeling in Clarke’s stomach. ‘Lexa was  _ leaving. _ ’  _

 

_ Lexa and Clarke stared at each other for a minute, breaths choppy, then Clarke pulled away, making the distance between them greater. “Guess we better go, huh?”  _

 

_ For her part Lexa looked crestfallen, “Yes, I suppose so.”  _

 

_ Clarke led Lexa down to the hanger bay where Raven, Anya, Nyko, Octavia, Bellamy, Kane, and Lincoln were waiting.  _

 

_ Anya turned to face her captain, “Admiral, Kane has been informed our ships exploration pod has been repaired and a small party is on their way to gather us.”  _

 

_ Lexa’s face was unreadable and her eyes dull, “Very well. Thank you Anya.” Turning to face Kane, Lexa clasped her hands behind her back, something she did often. “Thank you for having us, if you are ever in need of assistance, please, do not hesitate to call. If there in anyway for us to repay you-”  _

 

_ Lexa’s eyes flashed dangerously when Kane interrupted her, but calmed after his words. “I assure you, it was no problem.”  _

 

_ Kane opened his mouth to speak, when Octavia interrupted him, “Actually Admiral, I was wondering if I could ask you something.”  _

 

_ Kane slanted his head in confusion, and Lexa looked upon Octavia with curiosity, “Please, speak freely.”  _

 

_ Octavia took a deep breath, then looked glazed at Bellamy before looking at Lincoln, then back to Lexa. “I was wondering if I could come with you and join the Starfleet.”  _

 

_ Clarke gasped before she knew she was doing it and saw Bellamy glaring at Octavia. When he opened his mouth to speak Lexa beat him to it. “If that is your wish, your captain only has to give me authorization.”  _

 

_ Clarke’s eyes widened, she couldn’t believe her ears. Lexa was looking at Octavia with nothing but respect and Octavia was practically  _ glowing  _ with excitement. Looking to Kane, Clarke saw confusion written all over his face.  _

 

_ “I-Octavia, is this really what you want?”  _

 

_ Octavia looked at Kane and raised her chin, “Yes. It is.”  _

 

_ “Then it is settled. Octavia will be joining me and my crew on my ship. I’ll have my Second Officer and Vanguard Indra begin your training.”  _

 

_ Clarke wanted to ask Lexa what the  _ hell  _ she was doing. She wanted to shout at Lincoln, blame him for making her go. She looked at Raven with desperate hope in her eyes, not wanting one of her best friends to go with her possible lover and charge headfirst into battle. However, Raven was focused on the hanger doors that were opening and reaching for Anya’s hand. Clarke felt a pang of sympathy for her best friend, who was not only losing her lover but also her friend.  _

 

_ A small ship about the size of a basketball court landed in the hanger and as soon as the door opened a woman was sprinting out of the ship and flinging herself into Lexa’s arms. Lexa just barely had time to turn, open her arms, and brace her feet before she was stumbling to keep balance of not only herself but another woman in her arms. Clarke stood eyes wide and jaw slack as the tan, dirty blonde roughly grasped Lexa’s jaw and messily pressed their lips together.  _

 

_ Clarke felt sick with jealousy, but also enraged at the fact that Lexa had the audacity to kiss her when  _ clearly  _ there was someone else. Clarke looked on as the dirty blonde nuzzled into Lexa’s neck and held on with a death grip.   _

 

_ Nyko cleared his throat, “Admiral?” Lexa looked over the girl’s shoulder at Nyko who was standing next to a stern dark skinned woman and a tan man with a thick brown bread and long braided hair. The look on Lexa’s face was pure surprise, and a hint of confusion. Unceremoniously, she dropped the woman in her arms, and she landed on her feet. Quickly she glanced at Clarke with a look that clearly read ‘I’m sorry’ before turning back to her crew and giving orders.  _

 

_ Clarke stood stock still and stared on as one by one Lexa and her crew boarded the ship. Blinking, Clarke found herself looking up into Lexa’s green, guilt heavy eyes, “Clarke.”  Not thinking about how many laws she was breaking, how many knives, daggers, swords, guns and every other weapon she was  _ asking  _ to be used against her, Clarke grit her jaw and brought her hand up.  _

 

_ The sound of a slap resonated within the hanger bay as Clarke’s hand made contact with Lexa’s stupidly  _ perfect  _ face.  _

 

_ The sound of weapons being pulled from their holsters stopped almost as quick as it started when Lexa raised her hand. Clarke opened her eyes and found Lexa’s closed, her face turned to the side. Already an angry red version of Clarke’s hand was starting to show on Lexa’s face. Jerkily she turned her head back in Clarke direction. Raising her chin slightly and inhale deeply, Lexa opened her eyes. There was a breathy and barely audible “okay” before Lexa turned and walked up the ramp to her ship.  _

 

_ Clarke turned and stalked out of the hanger, Kane shouting and running after her.  _

 

The door to Clarke’s quarters opened and Raven walked in. It had been nearly an hour since Lexa had departed and Clarke had no doubt Raven had probably waited in the hanger for Anya to radio back and say they made it without trouble. 

 

“What do you want Raven. I’m not really in the mood.” 

 

Ignoring her, Raven made herself comfortable on the other end of Clarke’s couch. “I know I’m not Octavia, and that we don’t usually talk about this stuff, but do you wanna talk about it? You know I know how it feels when someone cheats on you.” 

 

Clarke hadn't realized she was crying until a sob racked her body, “I just thought she was different. She  _ seemed  _ so different, so  _ good _ , so... _ right.  _ Then...this.”  __

 

Raven pulled a sobbing Clarke into her arms and held her close. “That bitch didn’t deserve you anyway.” 

 

Despite having just seen Lexa kissing someone else, Clarke still wanted to defend her when Raven so brashly disrespected her. 

 

However, she was too busy choking on her own sobs to say a word. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke moved about the ship like a ghost. She hardly spoke to her friends, not that there was much to say with the awkward silence created by Octavia’s absence. The first couple of days her mother and Raven tried to get her to talk but Clarke would simply ignore them in hopes of being left alone. Everything seemed dull, it was almost if seeing how lurid Lexa’s eyes made everything else faded and dull. Clarke operated on autopilot, doing every action by memory without thought. 

 

Today she was given the day off after “working too much” and without simple tasks to keep her busy there was nothing to keep her mind from Lexa. 

 

The lights in Clarke’s quarters were off, bed unmade, clothes on the floor, and the blonde herself was wrapped in a blanket on her couch. Clarke stared forward at a small radio Raven had made and given to her exactly five days ago after Lexa and her crew left. Raven had an identical radio, and both had the same three channels. Each was a direct correspondent to a member of the other ship. One channel was Anya’s, another Octavia’s, and the last was Lexa’s.  

 

The radio sat exactly where Raven had placed it, only making a noise once when Octavia had called. Anya had no reason to call her, and Clarke knew her line was there for Raven’s purposes, but Lexa hadn’t called either. Clarke didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Lexa hadn’t made some grand gesture of apologizing profusely and begging Clarke to let her explain herself. Clarke knew she should take this as a sign that Lexa was, in fact, guilty, and had no lies to try and get herself in the clear. Or, that this was just an example of how little Clarke meant to her, however, Clarke felt like this was just Lexa giving her space. Days ago, when Clarke had slapped Lexa in the hanger, Lexa hadn’t let any harm come to Clarke and even told Kane Clarke shouldn’t be held accountable for anything. And the look Lexa had given her afterward was one of acceptance and understanding. 

 

Making her decision Clarke reached forward and hit the button on the radio. Pressing it up against her ear Clarke only heard silence and her heart sank until,

 

“Klark.”    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters soon!


	11. Timing Is A Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I little bit of Lexa POV all in First Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so like, yeah, I didn't re-read this either so all mistakes are mine and if there are any really terrible ones don't hate me? I feel like at the start of all my chapters from now on I need to put a "DID NOT EDIT", maybe that should be one of the story warnings? Anyway, Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below.

**_Lexa’s POV -(First Person)-_ **

 

Words were a funny thing. Words that were labels even funnier. However, they both had nothing on  _ Timing.  _

 

_ Timing,  _ was a fucking  _ bitch _ and always found a way to screw me over. Costia and I weren’t together anymore, but Clarke didn’t know that. 

 

Funny how  _ girlfriend _ meant someone you could kiss. Funny how  _ commitment  _ meant one and only. Funny how the lack of both and bad  _ timing  _ was all it took to earn me a slap to the face and a woman with hazel eyes telling me she loved me. 

 

Funny how if a girl with hazel eyes asked me a month ago to be her  _ girlfriend  _ and to make a  _ commitment  _ to her I would have said yes. I would have been ecstatic. As it was, I met a girl with blue eyes. 

 

_ Timing _ made me realize I didn’t want a girl with hazel eyes, but instead a girl with blue eyes. But the fucking timing of the hazel eyed girl pushed the blue eyed one away and now I looked like an ass. 

 

I thought about all this as I laid on my back on my bed staring at the ceiling of my quarters back on my ship.

 

_ “Oh my God, Lexa. I can’t believe you’re back. I missed you so much!” Costia beamed as she hugged me for what had to be the tenth time.  _

 

_ For what had to be the tenth time I didn’t hug her back.  _

 

_ “Stop. Just stop, okay? I’m not doing this again.” I said breathlessly as I pushed her away from me. “I’m not letting you do this to me again.” I couldn’t do this again, couldn’t fall back into her arms like I had so many times before. Costia always had had a way with words, and I had always had a way of listening to them.  _

 

_ But then I heard Clarke’s words and suddenly hers weren’t so easy to listen to anymore.  _

 

_ “Oh come on Lex, don’t be like this. I promise it’ll be different this time. I promise  _ I’m  _ different. I won’t break your heart again, just...just trust me.”  _

 

_ I wondered why she even bothered with me. How she actually felt for me. Why me? Why did she always come back to me? What was so special about me that she always came back to me just to break my heart all over again. Why couldn’t it be one of the dozen or so other girls she’d slept with? Why not the lips of one of thousand of bottles she’d drank instead of mine? “How many time do you say you’re different before you actually change?”  _

 

I didn’t feel guilty, I didn’t feel angry, I just felt...tired. I felt defeated. How was this my life? This wasn’t what I’d signed up for. I should have listened to Titus. 

 

Love was a weakness. 

 

_ “Hey.” I looked up from my textbook and found the pretty girl from my psychology class smiling at me.  _

 

_ I blushed and looked away, “Hey.”  _

 

_ I heard her giggle, a sound that made my head feel fuzzy, “Can I sit here?”  _

 

_ I looked up again, the study hall was practically empty, yet this girl wanted to sit next to  _ me _ , “Yeah, of course.”  _

 

I hated that people could have so much control over me. Hated that it made me  _ weak _ . 

 

_ I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as Costia looked up expantly at me, her hand outstretched as she waited for me to cross the threshold of our shared room. _

 

_ “C’mon sleepyhead, you were falling asleep on my lap a minute ago, don’t want you falling asleep in the doorway,” she giggled at me.  _

 

_ I took her hand and she pulled me to her chest, pressing my lips to hers in a way that  _ almost  _ fit but not quite. Maybe we just needed a little more practice.  _

 

I hated that people could get close to me and get control over me. Hated that I ever made the decision to let people in that weren’t Anya or Lincoln. 

 

_ “Lex, it’s not what it looks like, I swear.” Her breath reeked of alcohol and her speech was slurred.  _

 

_ My head felt like it was spinning, and my ears were ringing like I was being held underwater.  _

 

_ “I-” _

 

_ “Please Lex, just, I’ll explain in the morning,” she pleaded.  _

 

_ “Okay.”  _

 

_ I sat in silence on the couch of our shared room on  _ my  _ ship. Costia asleep next to me with her head in my lap, my fingers idly running through her hair.  _

 

_ She stirred beneath me and my hand stilled, “What happened?”  _

 

_ I could feel the tears in my eyes but filled them not to fall. It was getting easier to have this conversation.  _

 

_ “You drank again.”  _

 

_ She groaned, “Lex, I’m sorry. I was at a party, people were drinking, you know how it is.”  _

 

_ It did. She told me every other week.  _

 

_ “You said-”  _

 

_ She sat up and looked into my eyes, “Please Lex, one more chance. I promise. One more chance.”  _

 

_ I looked at her again, maybe this was it. Maybe this time she meant it. “Okay.” _

 

_ She smiled, her shoulders relaxing before she buried her head in my shoulder, “Aspirin?”  _

 

_ I kissed the top of her head and reached over to the side table grabbing the bottle of aspirin and glass of water I’d placed there the night before.  _

 

Little did I know that  _ ‘one more chance’  _ would turn into about six or seven. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I was tightening the straps on my armor, pulling tighter than I knew I should but in a hurry to get to the hanger. Just fifteen minutes prior to now we had been informed by headquarters there were enemies approaching and would be upon us in about ten minutes or so. 

 

As I was reaching for my sword that I carried, a protocol I made everyone on my crew do as a last ditch effort should a blaster fail, when the radio I had placed on my nightstand beeped. 

 

I looked over at it, not quite believing it was making noise until it beeped again. I quickly remembered Raven was on a direct line and scrambled to answer it incase their ship was also under attack. I picked up the radio and felt my heart stop when I read the name of the incoming call. 

 

“Klark?” I breathed out. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

Hearing Lexa’s voice made me breath out a breath of relief. I sat in silence, letting the calm of finally being able to talk to her wash over me.  

 

“Klark?” she asked again, in that way were she clicked her k’s and made me want to kiss her. But then I registered the tone of her voice, my brows furrowed. She sounded...tired? And just...concerned. “Klark! Klark, are you okay? Answer me...please.” She sounded so far away, so different. 

 

“Lexa? Are you okay?” 

 

She breathed out an ‘oh thank God’ before responding with “Yeah, yeah, fine, are you okay? How close is your ship to the warzone?” 

 

I leaned forward on the couch more, not believing a word she was saying, “Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.” 

 

“Klark! Gon the hodnes gon god beja answer me!” Lexa sounded frantic, panicked. 

 

I only understood the last few words and replied with a concerned, “Very far away. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

 

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief, before there was a voice behind her, “Heda, the baga ste opon osir.” 

 

“Lexa?” 

 

“Clare-” 

 

There was a very loud explosion before the line went to static and I felt my heart drop. 

 

What the hell just happened?   

 

 

 

Trigedasleng to English:

 

Gon the hodnes gon god beja answer me- for the love of God please answer me

 

Heda, the baga ste gon osir-Heda, the enemy are upon us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of the first person POV? Should the rest of the story be like that? Did you prefer third person? Or are you okay with me switching it up every once in a while and putting it in the beginning?


	12. "This Time Is Different"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been.....gone. So! I wrote an extra long chapter to say sorry? Also there's probably at least ten thousand mistakes in there, plz don't kill me. As always, Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below!

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

I sat on the couch with the radio in a death grip, poised so it was hovering next to my ear. I could feel the tears starting to build behind my eyes and honestly I was surprised my body had enough water left in it to make tears. There was a frantic banging,  _ pounding _ , on my door and I sat still as the door  _ *whooshed* _ open and Raven came barreling inside. Somewhere deep down I knew what was happening, understood this was always a possibility, but  _ deep down _ was also so  _ fucking deep down  _ that it didn’t matter. 

 

Raven was on her knees in front of me, burying her face into my lap and letting out sobs and cries akin to a wounded animal. 

 

_ Octavia. Anya. Lincoln. Nyko.  _

 

_ Lexa.  _

 

I shakily looked to the radio still clutched in my hand, waiting,  _ begging _ , for Lexa’s voice to sound on the other end. Even a small cough would be enough at this point. 

 

There was a scream, I looked down towards Raven but her head shot up. 

 

“Commander! Commander! Admiral! HEDA!  _ Lexa! _ ” there were groans, shuffles, and a sickening wet drip and then- 

 

“Raven? Clarke? Are you guys there?” Octavia’s voice sounded through the radio, crackled and static threatening to drown her out, but she was there nonetheless.  

 

Raven recovered first, “Octavia!” Suddenly she was yanking the radio out of my grip and sitting down on the couch next to me, “Octavia, what’s happening?” 

 

There was a *pop* on the other end and Octavia’s shrill squeak, then another voice appeared. “Octavia? Octavia are you in there?” 

 

I recognized the voice as Lincoln's. A bit more gruff than usual and a lot more strained. 

 

“Octavia I’m here with Anya, the doors a little blocked is Heda okay?” 

 

Raven heaved a sigh of relief and practically melted into the couch. Tears flooded down her cheeks and her hands gripped the couch roughly. 

 

I waited for Octavia’s answer, “I...I don’t know, Linc, I can’t see in here there’s too much smoke!”  Part of me wanted to yell and tell Octavia to get out of there, the other part wanted her to stop at nothing until she found Lexa. “Wait! Wait I think I see someone’s foot!” There was a lot of sounds, most I which I could only discern as  _ movement _ , before Octavia’s grunting sounds through the speakers. I tried not to get my hopes up, tried not to think of all the best case scenarios. “Ryder!” 

 

My heart dropped out of my feet. 

 

I couldn’t believe I was listing to this. This sounded like something from another world, another lifetime. 

 

“You Mountain scum!” came from somewhere further away from Octavia.

 

More shuffling and movement and then Octavia was yelling, “Lincoln!” 

 

Gunshots and grunts sounded in the background before a loud *slam* took over everything. 

 

“Anya! Anya!” Lincoln’s concerned voice flitted over the radio, “Let her go! Let her go you bastards!” By now Raven’s body was rigid and tense, she was perched on the edge of the couch, looking pale and sick.   

 

Octavia coughed and it sounded raw, painful. “Lincoln! Lincoln we’re stuck!” 

 

I realized too late what was going to happen, and I had to sit powerless and listen as it all unfolded. “Octavia they took Anya!” 

 

Ryder’s voice, gruff, deep, strong...failing, “She’s as good as dead already! Lincoln, it’s her or the two of us!” 

 

There was a tense moment of silence, the only noises were the flames crackling around Octavia and Ryder, and Raven’s soft, broken sobs. 

 

There was the sound of wood breaking, and Lincoln’s grunts, “Where’s Heda?” 

 

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find her!” Octavia shouting, voice raw and almost gone. 

 

“Go! Help the others defend themselves, we’ll look for her!” Lincoln yelling to be heard over the roaring of the flames. 

 

Radio silence. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Raven sat curled into my side, having cried herself to sleep maybe an hour or so ago. I rubbed up and down her spine and tried not to think about what we listened too. It had been nearly three hours since Octavia had lost connection, or hung up, or  _ whatever,  _ with us and I don’t think I had breathed properly since. The rest of the crew had been informed by Starfleet that the U.S.S Grounder and been attacked by an enemy ship and many crew members had been killed or taken hostage. They were still awaiting numbers and all ships were told to evacuate the surrounding area. 

 

My mom came and stopped by, she had stood in the doorway, opening and closing her mouth a few times before looking at Raven. I’d had shook my head slightly, and she had nodded once, then turned and walked away. No one had been by since. I only felt slightly bad for the rest of my friends, and God, Bellamy, for the possible loss of Octavia, but actually listening,  _ listening _ , to the terror of war shut Raven and I down. 

 

I thought about my last conversations with the few crew members I had known on the U.S.S Grounder. 

 

_ “Anya, I can’t believe you’ve never played bullshit before!” I exclaimed.  _

 

_ Anya just shrugged, Raven clutching her arm and Octavia scoffed, “Today’s your lucky day then. I’m the best bullshitter around.”  _

 

_ Raven scoffed, “Debatable.”  _

 

_ I smirked, “Exactly, everyone knows  _ I’m  _ the best bullshitter.”  _

 

_ Raven pouted and Anya laughed and kissed her cheek.  _

 

At least Anya and I had parted of good terms. Lincoln and I hadn’t spoke much, he mostly just followed Octavia around like a lost puppy. Octavia and I hadn’t really had any parting words since she left, but Raven had talked to her and she wasn’t mad at me, so I knew that much. 

 

But then I thought of Lexa.

 

(In third person because it’s from an older chapter. I decided not to change it for “effect”)

 

_ “Clarke.”  Not thinking about how many laws she was breaking, how many knives, daggers, swords, guns and every other weapon she was  _ asking  _ to be used against her, Clarke grit her jaw and brought her hand up.  _

 

_ The sound of a slap resonated within the hanger bay as Clarke’s hand made contact with Lexa’s stupidly  _ perfect  _ face.  _

 

_ The sound of weapons being pulled from their holsters stopped almost as quick as it started when Lexa raised her hand. Clarke opened her eyes and found Lexa’s closed, her face turned to the side. Already an angry red version of Clarke’s hand was starting to show on Lexa’s face. Jerkily she turned her head back in Clarke's direction. Raising her chin slightly and inhaling deeply, Lexa opened her eyes. There was a breathy and barely audible “okay” before Lexa turned and walked up the ramp to her ship.  _

 

Who probably died with my slap still on her face. 

 

I had never wished so hard for a human being to be alive in my entire life, and I still remembered getting the call my father’s ship and been attacked.  

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Lexa’s POV_ **

 

I felt hot. Not the kind of hot you feel when you walk onto the beach barefoot and the sun feels like it’s searing crinkles into your skin. Not the kind of hot you feel when your crush walks into the room and talks to you. 

 

No, the kind of hot one feels when they grab a hot pan with their bare hand. Or grabs the metal part of a seatbelt when the sun's been shining into your windows for too long. 

 

Except I felt it along my entire back and all of my extremities, and it wasn’t letting up. 

 

I vaguely registered my ribs breaking and my head bleeding before I was being hefted to my feet and yanked by the collar to the door. I knew the big, rough, calloused hands to be Lincoln’s and let him drag my limp body away from...whatever. My ears were ringing and my eyes must not have been working right because I swear the room was upside down. 

 

There were sounds all around me, the chaos of it all was almost comforting. I felt I could slip away and no one would notice. Just like an old radio trying to tune into the proper station, Lincoln’s voice slowly filtered in through the rest. 

 

“Lexa! Lexa please!” 

 

Amongst his voice thousands of others crying out “Heda” and “Admiral”, and then “Commander.” 

 

My eyes snapped open to the faces of my crew and the yellow wisps of fire and smoke. I had a job to do, a mission…

 

I was the Commander. 

 

I was _Heda._

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Raven’s POV_ **

 

I don’t know what woke me up, just that when I did there was all about twenty seconds of bliss before I realized what all had happened. 

 

The first thing I noticed was that the hand gently rubbing up and down my back wasn’t Anya’s. It was too firm, too small, too soft, not slightly boney and calloused.

 

The second thing I noticed was the teal color of the couch beneath me, not the red of my own. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

I sat up and turned my head to see Clarke, looking pale and for lack of a better term,  _ dishealved.  _ Her light blonde hair was all over the place and sticking up at random, her skin was a lighter shade of pale I hadn’t seen since Jake’s death, which contrasted  _ wonderfully _ with the dark bags under her eyes, and made the clear trails of dried tears on her face all the more prominent.

 

“Clarke?” 

 

She didn’t turn to look at me, but stayed facing the wall ahead of her, the radio almost falling out of her near limp grasp. “We’re moving further away, Jaha doesn’t want whatever ship attacked the Grounder to raid or possibly attack us.” 

 

I said nothing, it made sense, but Clarke didn’t look like she was done talking. “I fought them on it. Argued with everything I could to get them to turn around, to help, to do something,  _ anything, _ but the decision was final. We had already saved them enough, apparently we owed nothing more to them and wanting to save them would get me killed just like my father.” Clarke turned to look at me then, blue eyes dimmed to a dull grey and face devoid of any emotion other than blank. “Bellamy looked so disappointed in me, like it’s  _ my  _ fault Octavia wanted to follow Lexa onto that stupid  _ fucking  _ ship!” Clarke’s voice broke on Octavia and Lexa’s names, like they pained her to speak them. 

 

I supposed they did. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sitting alone in my quarters was possibly the worst thing I’d ever done to myself. 

 

Besides probably falling in love with Anya. Maybe. Most definitely.

 

It was stupid really, how quickly I’d let her become everything to me, but fitting given how quickly she was taken away. I hadn’t cried since I’d listened with Clarke over the radio and honestly didn’t think I could anymore.

 

I wasn’t sad, really. Just...empty. It felt like someone had reached in and taken something I didn’t know I had until they took it. I suddenly wished I told Anya everything I ever wanted her to know and then some while wanting exactly the opposite. I’d wished she’d never be taken away from me, but also that I’d never had her in the first place. Both seemed inevitable. Both impossible. Only one really wanted. 

 

I couldn’t imagine anything without Anya anymore. It was like being a child all over again and being asked what you wanted to do the rest of your life. Where you wanted to go. If you wanted kids. Where you were going to live. What you were willing to give. I had always answered “I don’t know” because I was a kid and I didn’t. Then I was hanging up a high school degree on my wall and answering “I don’t know” because I was an adult and I didn’t. 

 

Being with Anya was like answering all those questions. Because while I eventually decided I wanted to be a mechanic, I never really  _ knew _ . Just knew I could. Then I’d met Finn and thought I knew, but I didn’t. Then I met Anya and I knew. I knew it didn’t matter where I was, what I did, none of it. None of it mattered as long as it was with her. 

 

And now she was gone and I was thinking “I don’t know” because she was all I wanted to know. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I couldn’t take it. I had a feeling and I had an idea. The latter of the two almost never being good. So I found myself elbow deep in an escape pod tinkering until it hummed a little faster and glowed a little brighter. 

 

It was also how I found myself breaking into Clarke’s quarters and stuffing a pillow over the other girl’s mouth so she was quiet when she woke. This resulted in me narrowly avoiding a broken nose. 

 

Together Clarke and I snuck out and down the halls until we were in the hanger. We were about three feet away when hands grabbed us each on a shoulder and were pulling us to a stop. 

 

I mentally swore vengeance.

 

However, when we were turned around, we were met with the tired and questioning gaze of Bellamy Blake. 

 

“What are you doing?” he whisper shouted.  

 

“What does it look like?” I whisper shouted back. 

 

He looked behind us at the pod which I had modified, “Take me with you.” 

 

I opened my mouth but Clarke spoke, “No.” 

 

Bellamy looked back at us, “Clarke, Octavia’s my sister.” 

 

Clarke looked Bellamy deep in the eyes, “Right but you’re needed here. Let us go, we’ll bring her back.” I heard the unspoken  _ If she’s not already dead. _

 

“Why? I can shoot guns, you’ll need the muscle.” 

 

Clarke sighed, “Look, it’s not good for our ship to be in any kind of fighting. We’ll get destroyed and there are kids on this ship. Raven and I can pull off the excuse of being grief stricken like we have for the past few days. You, however, have been out and about and can’t just suddenly disappear. If you can convince everyone we’re in our cabins while we’re gone it should give us enough headway to reach the Grounder’s ship before they come looking for us.” 

 

Admittedly it was a good plan. 

 

Bellamy looked at Clarke and I for maybe a minute longer, until he nodded and took a blaster out of the holster on his hip and handed it to me. “Be safe, bring her back.” 

 

Clarke and I hopped into the escape pod and set a course for where we believed the grounder ship was located. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Clarke’s POV_ **

 

I told myself not to get my hopes up. That Octavia and Anya and Lincoln and Lexa could all very well be dead and that I could be flinging myself into a death trap, but I just had a  _ feeling  _ that Lexa was okay. 

 

It took surprisingly less time than I thought to reach the Grounder’s ship, but when questioned about it Raven merely shrugged and said she may have rewired a few things. 

 

When the U.S.S Grounder came into view it was easy to tell something was wrong. It was stock still in one place, and though there were windows, the rooms all remained dark. At first I was surprised by the sleek modern design, but quickly turned my thoughts to other things when I noticed the big gaping hole in the side of the ship.

 

As we got closer I could see bodies floating just outside the jagged twisted metal edge of the hole. I couldn’t tell what the room was, but couldn’t really look to much either when Raven started gagging at the ghastly sight of the floating bodies. As we moved past one I was relieved to see the open eyes weren’t a familiar shade of forest green, but a milky brown.

 

“She’s not one of them,” I said to a hunched over Raven. Although, admittedly, I didn’t know if I was speaking about Anya, on Raven’s behalf, Octavia for the both of us, or Lexa for my own sanity. 

 

“What do we do now?” Raven asked as she eased herself into one of the seats by a steering panel. Luckily our question was answered for us when the hanger door of the ship was open. However, when we came around to the opening of the door, we were met with armed warriors. I looked over at Raven with my hands in the air, and thankfully found her to be doing the same. 

 

After getting the go-ahead from the same stoic dark-skinned warrior I had seen before, Raven and I landed in the hanger. 

 

“What are you doing here? You must go back to your ship and tell them to get away from this area at once!” she ordered. 

 

Raven stepped forward, “Look lady, I don’t know who you are, but Clarke and I just came-” 

 

“Enough!” 

 

Raven and the warrior both visibly stiffened while was stood glued to the spot. Slowly I turned around and was met with the bloody, yet sexy, sight of a Lexa in full armor. 

 

Of course then I looked to her face wanting to get a glimpse of those green eyes that haunted me when I closed my eyes, only to find one was hidden behind a sheet of black blood pouring out of a cut from her forehead. Naturally, once I noticed the first cut the others revealed themselves. Lexa had a nasty black eye on the same one that was covered in blood (the only way I could tell it was a black eye was the fact that is was swelled nearly all the way shut), her perfectly plump bottom lip now sported a split that went halfway to her chin, and those were just the ones I could see. Her suit sported more red blood than black, however, that meant somewhere along the line she had been cut enough that it bled through. It also didn’t help that Lexa stood tall like there wasn’t a problem in the world with her. 

 

Once I noticed all the damage done to Lexa, the glamor on the rest of the ship seemed to fade and I saw it for the first time for what it was. 

 

Damaged. 

 

Beside me Raven stood oddly quiet. “Um, is...is her blood...black?” 

 

I smiled and looked towards Lexa again, only to be met with the same impassive face I had seen on her that day in the cell, however, this time I couldn’t see a glint of anything in her eyes. 

 

“Clarke, Raven, what are you doing here? Our ship was recently attacked, as I’m sure you know, so this isn’t a safe place at the moment. If you’re here to ask a favor in return for our previous endeavors, I ask you be merciful as I’m afraid the most aid I can offer is three soldiers.”

 

I scanned the faces of Lexa’s crew, there were tense, waiting for her command, loyal...but they all looked tired. Worn. 

 

“Raven and I are here to help. I’m a doctor and she’s an engineer.” For the briefest of moments, I could have sworn I saw maybe relief or affection flash through Lexa’s eyes, but just like that it was gone again.    

 

“I cannot offer you anything in return. I will not ask you to put your lives in danger.”

 

I walked over to Lexa, careful not to touch or get to close, “Lexa, I’m not asking.” 

 

The warrior from before spoke up, “How dare you disrespect Heda by calling her-” 

 

With a look from Lexa she quieted down again and someone stepped forward. “Permission to speak, Heda?” 

 

I was shocked to find a boy no older than ten standing with his fair share of cuts and bruises looked up at Lexa with what could only be described as all the admiration in the world. Lexa looked down on him softly, fondly, in a way a mother or sister might look down at a small child. Instantly I wandered the connection between the two. “Please, speak freely Aden.” 

 

The boy nodded, “Heda, I think you should let the pretty blonde take you to the medbay, no offense but you’ve looked better.” There was a quiet murmur of agreement throughout all of Lexa’s crew but I looked over to see her shaking her head. 

 

“I will not put myself before my crew. I am only as good as my crew, and only as well as my ship. I appreciate the kindness though, Aden. Aden and Charlotte this is Clarke, you’ll go with her to get checked out.” Lexa scanned the crowd, her gazed quickly darting between everyone in attendance, “Edmund, Fry, Toad, Juli, Eva, and Kev, you’ll go with them. Half of you, come with me to search for more survivors, the other half, go with Indra. Sev, lock the doors and put the ship on lockdown. I don’t care who they are, no one will be entering this ship. Be aware, there I many holes on the west lower wing, do not get sucked out one. Serena and Evan, make sure to block off those hallways.” Everyone listened to her orders with a steely gaze and listening ears. 

 

Her voice carried a note of finality, and after her words everyone sprung into action. I looked over my shoulder at Raven who was hiding under a mask of collected calm. To my left there were a few staggered steps then Octavia’s voice calling my name, softly, almost like it wasn’t real. 

 

“Clarke?” 

 

I whipped my head around to see a grimy and sweaty Octavia who didn’t look to have taken any damage aside from a bleeding nose and a busted lip. 

 

“Octavia?” I asked, having almost convinced myself that she was dead. 

 

“O!” a burly voice called, “You’re with us, looking for survivors east wing, lets go!” 

 

Octavia stood and stared at me a moment longer, then took off running. I sighed, then let Aden led me towards the medbay. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was almost six hours before I saw either Raven or Octavia, after taking care of almost every member of the Grounders in the medbay. 

 

Everyone  _ except  _ Lexa. 

 

Octavia came into the medbay a tray in each of her hands, Raven trailing behind with a tray of her own. 

 

“Clarkey! You came to visit me?” Octavia cheered, although her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. I suspected this had something to do with Lincoln having a minor concussion and a broken arm. Raven however, looked like a ghost. 

 

“Rae?” I asked after Octavia had handed me a tray and the silence had been overwhelming. 

 

“They took her.” 

 

“Who, Rae? Who took her?” I of course understood the “her” we were talking about to be Lexa. 

 

Octavia roughly set her fork down, “The Mountain Men.” 

 

I looked at Octavia, not quite understanding what she was talking about, when Nyko piped up from his place in the corner. I’d forgotten about him until now, and hearing his voice almost made me fall off the stool I was sitting on. 

 

“The Mountain Men are a nickname given to the members on a ship called ‘Mount Weather’. They were originally a ship that was supposed to monitor weather patterns on different planets, however, they soon become outlawed by Starfleet when they used their knowledge of weather to cause radiation leaks on twelve planets. Most severely on planet Triku.” My heart dropped when he spoke the name of Lexa’s planet, and when he gave me a look, first of shock then of understanding from my obvious discomfort and unease on the topic I knew he understood the severity of the topic. 

 

Right as I was about to ask about what other planets had been faced with radiation leaks, the door to the medbay opened. In walked a very,  _ very,  _ pale Lexa, who was being led by a very concerned Aden and a girl-who I had learned from meeting her-Charlotte

 

“Clarke, we tried to get her to see you sooner but she wouldn’t listen. Can you please, please,  _ please,  _ fix her?” a panicked Charlotte asked me. I shot Octavia and Raven a look, both of which were looking at Lexa with concern.  

 

Lexa turned to me, looking almost like a zombie, “Clarke...really...s’fine. I’m...mmmm….fiiine” 

 

“Lexa, you are very obviously  _ not fine,  _ now get over here,” I ordered, surprised when my own voice didn’t waver. Raven stood up, followed by Octavia who took Aden and Charlotte out of the room, albeit a few protests. 

 

“Clarke, would you like any assistance? I know how Heda can be,” Nyko asked me, voice laced with understanding and a little concern. When I looked over at him, I read his face well. I wondered how many times Lexa had stumbled onto his table, bleeding out but not seeking any help. 

 

“Nightco, you knho I can wap bandages myhelph,” Lexa tried to protest, then fell forward, only to be caught by Nyko. He gently swooped her up into his arms and laid her down on the table, an action that looked almost second nature. 

 

“I think I’ve got her. You go ahead get something to eat, get some rest,” I told him, softening after seeing the tender way her was looking down at Lexa. Almost how someone would look down at their sleeping child while they were sick.  

 

“Let me know if you are in need of assistance,” he said turning to walk out the door. He paused in the doorframe and looked over his shoulder, “Oh, and no matter how bad you know it’ll hurt don’t use painkillers. She hates it.” 

 

I nodded my thanks and turned my attention back to a sleeping Lexa. She looked rough, clothes torn and more blood stained since the last time I’d seen them. 

 

I started gently removing her armor, having to tug on the straps to get them to come undone until Lexa was down to a tight, but blood soaked, black tank top and tight black leggings. I untied the laces on her boots and winced when I poured blood out of them.  _ Red blood  _ I reminded myself  _ not Lexa’s _ . 

 

I gently set her boots on a table behind me, next to her shockingly clean red sash. When I turned back, Lexa’s dull green eyes were looking at me. 

 

“I’m sorry Clarke.” 

 

I looked at her with wet eyes, “For what Lexa? You’re the one laying here bleeding out on my table.” 

 

Lexa turned her head back, eyes scanning the room and brow furrowing as she realized where she was for the first time. “Ai'm sorry, klark.” 

 

Those were the last things she said to me before I told her she could pass out. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I worked quietly. Taking her shirt off to wrap bandages around things that could be fixed with a little time. Stitching things that needed a little more. A few times I had to cut her open to remove something that should not have been, only to stitch and wrap it up afterward. Once her body from head to toe was cleaned and wrapped, a task that had taken  _ hours _ , I set out to do her face. Taking a towellet I wiped at the skin around her eyes, confused when I found black paint there. Making a mental note to ask Octavia about it later, I gently wiped the black blood away from her swollen eye, and busted lip. Once her face was cleared of all dirt, blood, and smoke residue, I placed ointment over her eye to help with swelling and kissed her forehead. 

 

Using a comm button in the room I asked for some assistance in moving Lexa from a table to a bed, and was happy to see Lincoln walking into the room a few minutes nearby. He said he was nearby but given his slightly choppy breath I’d guessed he’d ran from somewhere. 

 

Once Lexa was moved into a bed, I was reminded of how pale her usually tan skin was as she looked small and frail in the bed around her. A far cry from the woman of power and dominance I’d seen before. 

 

As I was sitting by Lexa’s side, subconsciously rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand, I tuned in to her slightly increased breathing. I looked over to see Lexa with beads of sweat lining her forehead and brows furrowed. At first I thought she had a fever, but when she started thrashing I realized it was either a nightmare or a panic attack. Immediately I jumped up from my stool and tried to calm her to no avail. 

 

“Lexa, hey Lexa, shhhh, it’s okay, you’re safe,” I cooed at her, but it didn’t stop. I kept whispering calming words to her before I noticed her lips were moving, I stopped talking long enough to try and understand what she was whispering. She seemed to be whispering a name over and over again. 

 

“C-”

 

My heart leapt to my throat-

 

“Costia-”

 

I felt tears well in my eyes but I didn’t have the energy to fathom why, although I had an inkling. Turning around, I pressed the comm button again, asking for “Costia.” 

 

A few minutes later the same honey-coloured dirty blonde from the hanger came bursting through the medbay doors, her face full of concern. I wanted to warn her to be quiet, as not to disturb the other resting or unconscious patients, but she was already at Lexa’s side. 

 

“Lex. Hey, Lex, listen to me, ok? Just...this’ll be just like old times.” The dirty blonde, Costia, put Lexa’s clammy hand and put it on her chest, exaggerating her breathing so Lexa could feel it. “Come back kom me ai hodnes. Won, tu, thri,” she bent over to put her forehead against Lexa’s, their lips ghosting when she spoke, “Fou, fai, sis…”

 

Lexa’s breathing had evened out again and I saw Costia sigh in relief. She sat back up and looked over at me, a small smile on her face, “Whew, it’s been awhile since the last one.” 

 

I didn’t know what to say, I’d already felt like I’d been intruding on a moment I wasn’t meant to see, yet here I still sat. 

 

Licking my lips to give myself something to do, I asked the first question that came to mind, “So you and Lexa are close?” 

 

I mentally winced at my own awkwardness.

 

Costia sighed, thumb running over the back of one of Lexa’s limp hands, “I guess you could say we once were.” She turned to stare at Lexa, lost in memories, “I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, had my own problems, somehow, for some reason, Lex stook around.” She looked back up at me, “Until you came along.” 

 

I expected anger, pain, hurt, jealousy, confusion, sadness, hate,  _ anything  _ to show me that Costia was in no way happy with my presence, however, she looked at me with a look of resignation. Her eyes were misty, a thin smile graced her lips, “She’s been through a lot, I’ve put her through even more, you’re playing with a wild, self-controlled, broken, fire...but you won’t be the one who burns.” Costia looked back at Lexa’s peaceful face, wearing a fond smile. She leaned down and kissed Lexa’s forehead, tip of her nose, then her lips, “ _ I told you I’d changed this time.”  _ Before she got up and left, looking back once over her shoulder before slipping out the door. 

 

Clarke sat in silence, listening to the breathing of the patients in the beds around her. Someone coughed and groaned a few beds away from Lexa and broke Clarke out of her thoughts. 

 

(Weird POV change in the ending Yeah sorry IDK) 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, 1st POV good? Like I think I've said before, I'll probably switch from 3rd and 1st as well as what character I'm using. Thanks for reading and putting up with my unexpected absences. How often would y'all like me to update?


	13. Even if it kills you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so, I'm back. Please don't kill me. I've had a bit of writer block on top of school work and didn't really like the way I was writing this fic so far so I'm back with something I don't completely hate. Also yes, I've changed the appearance of Cage Wallace to someone that resembles Luke Cage because that's how I see him in my minds eye. Woo. All mistakes are mine and I highly doubt I'm going to reread and edit any of this because, yeah. Thanks for sticking with this and reading, it means a lot. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below.

_ Clarke’s Pov _

****

It was sometime after midnight when Clarke felt two hands shaking her shoulders, trying to wake her. Squinting her eyes open, Clarke saw Raven looking down at her under furrowed brows, “Clarke, get up. C’mon.” 

****

Growling, Clarke rolled back over and stuffed her face into her pillow, “Ugh, Rae, five more minutes?” 

****

It was weak at best and Clarke knew it, apparently Raven did too, as in the next minute Clarke’s covers were being yanked off her, exposing her body to the cold air of the ship around her. 

****

“C’mon, Commander dearest wants us,” Raven said evenly, only half awake herself. 

****

At the mention of Lexa, Clarke jumped sprung from her bed with a new purpose. Because  _ ‘Lexa’.  _ Clarke was about to grab a pair of pants off the floor  _ ‘seriously self? You’ve been here two days and you’ve already got clothes on the floor? Get a grip Griff’  _ when Raven’s had grabbed her wrist. 

****

“No time, plus, everyone else is gonna be in their PJ’s,” Raven offered up with a half-hearted shrug and blank expression. Clarke frowned at her friend, hating that with Anya gone so was her best friend, leaving her with a shell of the girl she knew. Raven sighed at Clarke’s continued stare, “I’ll explain on the way, okay? C’mon Lexa wanted us there five minutes ago.” 

****

Clarke nodded and followed Raven out of the room. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

On the walk to the meeting room, which thankfully had not been damaged during the Mountain Men’s raid, Clarke learned that she and Raven, as well as Lexa’s other upper-crewsmen would be secretly and, somewhat illegally, be listening into a call with said Mountain men. Apparently, their Captain, Cage Wallace, who worked for his father Ex-Starfleet Captain Dante Wallace, reached out to Lexa to offer a trade of sorts. Clarke had yet to know the details of said trade but could only hope it worked out in the Grounder prisoners’ favors.

****

Reaching the meeting room, Raven held her pointed finger to her lips to signal Clarke to be quiet, though her eyes were blank, lacking their usual mirth. Clarke nodded and followed Raven as she crept along the wall of the room, stopping when she was next to Lincoln. 

****

In the center of the room was a long table, with at least a dozen chairs split between the two sides, and Lexa stood at the head, facing the wall with the door Clarke and Raven had entered a few moment prior. On the far wall, or the front of the room, was a large projection that contained the picture of a young man. He looked a little older than Clarke, his dark skin seeming to glow over the projection. His head was shaved bald, and his wide nostrils flared; Cage Wallace. Looking at the wall across from her, Clarke saw the rest of the crew lined up similar to herself, Raven, and Lincoln. They were all facing the front wall, lips sealed shut, and hands clasped behind their backs. It occured to Clarke that Lexa must allow her crew to be present for all private communication calls. Clarke found the idea both sweet and intriguing, thinking once again, that Lexa would never be able to  _ not  _ surprise her in some way that was either endearing or courageous. 

****

“Admiral Base Commander Captain Woods, my father, against my advice I might add, has suggested a trade,” Cage started. Clarke saw Lexa’s lip twitch up in faintested hints of a smile when Cage grit out her full title. With a disinterested flick of her wrist, Lexa motioned for him to continue. “I’ll get to the point then. As I’m sure you’re aware, we have six-five now, of your men,” at the way Cage smiled when discreetly saying one of Lexa’s crew had died, Clarke watched all the other crewmen's faces morph into anger while Lexa herself remained impassive. The only nothion she’s heard anything at all was the way her eyes turned dark and powerful. 

****

In something that resembled a snarl Lexa spit, “What’s the deal Cage? I haven’t got all day, one’s schedule gets rather full when they’re planning a hundred and one ways to make your life a living hell without simply outright killing your ass.”  

****

Clarke saw she saw Cage grow plae and gulp but before she could really think about it he was speaking again, “Never one for small talk are you Alexandria? You know, I hear you’re very much like your  _ useless  _ father when you want to be.” 

****

Lexa slammed her hand down on the table, her disinterested facade long since gone. In a tone that was too calm for Clarke to comfortably listen to, Lexa responded, “At least my father would have gotten off his ass and fought the enemy himself. And unlike you, I kill my enemies before they have the chance to make small talk.” 

****

“I’m still talking Woods,” Cage said with a smile. 

****

Lexa grinned much like a wolf, showing all her teeth with a deadly gleam in her inhuman eyes, “I like to play with my food.” 

****

Cage involuntarily sat back and Clarke felt the air in the room change, the blonde never could read people but she understood well enough that Lexa was in charge now. Whatever pissing match the two had been in Lexa had won, and her crew looked at her in both pride, respect, and a little fear. 

****

“Now Cage, if I recall, it is terribly hard to listen to your whiny voice, you were here to offer me a deal?”  

****

A snarl overtook Cage’s thin lips, a muscle working in his chiseled jaw, “You, for you men.” 

****

Clarke watched as every head in the room turned to look at Lexa with wide eyes. Even Clarke understood that for five men that were more than likely already dead, this was basically suicide.With anger in her eyes and this rouse to anger Lexa Clarke turned to glare at Cage, even though she knew he couldn’t see her.  

****

“Deal.” 

****

Clarke whipped her head around so fast she was  _ positive  _ she’d given herself whiplash. Even Cage looked surprised. Suppressing the urge to yell  _ “WHAT?”  _ at Lexa, Clarke watched as Lexa snarkily finished the conversation and hung up, the blood rushing in her ears preventing her from hearing anymore of something she more than likely should have been listening to. The moment the call ended the room erupted into chaos. 

****

“Captain, you can’t be serious!”

****

“Heda!” 

****

“They’re dead anyway!” 

****

“Nou be branwada Heda, disha ste gouthru klin en yu know em. Nou be heroic,” _ Do not be foolish Heda, this is suicide and you know it. Do not be heroic) _ at the last voice, the small mob that had gathered around Lexa split to reveal a large bald man in a cloak. 

****

Lexa became impassive again, “Titus, do what do I owe the pleasure of your unwanted advice?”  _ ‘Okay, so not the best of friends but,’ _

****

Titus sighed and placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder that looked more painful than comforting, “Alexandria, you know this is foolish, I only ask you stop and consider your people.” Clarke wondered how someone could sound  _ that  _ condescending and Lexa  _ not  _ slap them.

****

Lexa sighed and Clarke got the impression that the two had had similar conversations in the past. “I am thinking about my people, Titus. I will not be a leader who sits by and watches her people suffer, or be killed. Why do you think I created the coalition? If my people had been banded together in the past maybe I wouldn’t have spent five years at war.” 

****

Looking at Lexa now, in that moment, Clarke thought she looked much older than she was. The blonde knew she couldn’t be much older than herself, and thinking that she had somehow have been able to spend five years at war pulled at her heart. The way the shadows in the room cast over her lithe figure made her eyes look dark and features drawn and downcast. Clarke even imagined the grey streaks that surely would one day paint her hair, however, Lexa then caught her eye Clarke though she looked young, free...innocent. 

****

She was one of those things by force, another by her own work, and the last by birth. 

****

“Clarke, what are you thinking about so hard up in that head of yours?” Lexa asked, a fond smile gracing her lips. 

****

Clarke shook her head as the image of Cage Wallace’s mind came to the forefront, “Lexa, why’d you take the deal? Surely you know that’s suicide.” 

****

Lexa sighed and looked down at the floor a little to Clarke’s left, and look similar to disappointment in her eyes and posture. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder why. 

****

“I thought you of all people would understand that, have my back even.” Lexa sounded dejected,  _ tired _ . Clarke blinked, shocked at the reaction and the raw truth in Lexa’s voice. “Come back to this room in about three hours, that should be enough time for you to prepare. When you return we’ll discuss a plan of action. For now, I wish to speak with Raven.” With that Lexa turned and walked over to the Latina who still stood in shock from the previous events. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

**_POV Raven, 3rd_ **

****

Raven stood with a slack jaw as thoughts ran rampant through her head.  _ ‘I could see Anya again’  _ being the most prominent

****

“Raven.” 

****

The voice brought Raven back to the present. The present where Lexa stood looming over her like a dark cloud. “Commander,” Raven managed to squeak. 

****

“I wish to talk to you about this evenings ‘trade,” Lexa clasped her hands behind her back, “It is important that what we talk about stays between us. Understood?” 

****

Raven was now fully anchored into the present, “Does Clarke know?” 

****

Lexa answered in short, “No, and she cannot. You and I are to be the only people informed of my plan. However, as far as the others are concerned our plan has yet to be discussed and will be decided on in exactly three hours time.” 

****

Nodding, Raven understood the amount of trust Lexa was putting on her, she was determined not to fuck up. “Lay it on me.” 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

The plan was simple; Clarke, Octavia, Lincoln, and herself would pilot a small ship over to one of the landing bays on the side of Mount Weather. Thanks to Lexa’s inside man, Echo, the prisoners would be waiting for them to escape. Titus would escort Lexa to the designated trade location, where Cage was supposed to meet them. Since Lexa doubted Cage would hold up his end of the deal she would be ready with Titus to strike him down instead of handing herself over. 

****

All-in-all Raven thought it was a pretty foolproof plan, yet she couldn’t help but think back to the conversation she’d had with Lexa the day Anya had been taken.  

****

_ Raven grabbed her radio off of her nightstand, holding her breath as she pushed the button to put her through to Lexa.  _

****

_ “Heya?” Lexa had said into the microphone, her native language rolling off her tongue smoothly.  _

****

_ “Lexa? It’s Raven.” Raven answered, pulling her knees to her chest in anticipation of the pending conversation.  _

****

_ “Raven? Is Clarke alright?” Raven smiled to herself despite recent events. After learning of Lexa’s toxic relationship with the girl Raven now knew as Costia, she had respect for the girl for still caring about Clarke all things considered. More so that her ship had just been attacked and crew taken, not to mention her voice sounded forced.  _

****

_ “Clarke’s alright, she wants to know if you’re okay-” there was the sound of a gunshot in the background.  _

****

_ “If she asks I’m working on it.” A grunt, this time from Lexa. _

****

_ “Yeah, look Anya-wait are you fighting people right now?” Raven sat up straighter, hoping against hope she would not be the cause of the Commander’s death.  _

****

_ “Yes, so if you would, please be quick?”  _

****

_ Raven took a deep breath, “Anya, will you get her back?”  _

****

_ There was another grunt and a mumbled series of swear words in both english and not, “I swear to you on my life, I will get Anya back. Dead of alive, I promise you I will do everything in my power to bring her back to you, even if it kills me.”  _

****

_ Raven swallowed, Lexa sounded genuine, “Even if it kills you?”  _

****

_ There wasn’t a single breath of hesitation, “Even if it kills me.” There was a pause, followed by more shots and grunts both from Lexa and not, “I need you to promise me something.”  _

****

_ Raven shook her head before she realized Lexa couldn’t see that, “Anything.”  _

****

_ “Make Anya happy.”  _

****

_ “I promise.”  _

****

_ “Even if it kills you?”  _

****

_ Raven gulped and closed her eyes, “Even if it kills me.”  _

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

Before Lexa had hung up she made Raven promise not to tell Clarke she was alive, as she wasn’t positively sure she was going to make it, however, she did tell Raven if she did happen to die her last order would have been to send a group of soldiers from Starfleet to officially attack Mount Weather. Raven had actually been convinced Lexa was dead when there was a cry of pain from the burnette and the line went dead, so, to save her friend from possibly false information, Raven said nothing.   

****

Raven walked back to her shared room with Clarke, twenty minutes after the blonde herself had left, intending to pack her things to prepare for a possible fight while trying to remain discreet as to Lexa’s true plans. 

****

No one needed to know that Lexa intended to blow both herself and Cage up with a bomb should she be taken hostage onto their ship for real. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

**_POV Clarke, 3rd_ **

****

Clarke paced her shard room with Raven while the Latina packed her bag. “Raven, why did Lexa want to talk to you?” she finally asked when the other girl failed to bring forth any information on the subject. 

****

Raven sighed, “She just wanted to tell me a few things about the ship before she takes ‘the walk’.” 

****

Clarke froze. How could she forget?  _ Lexa was planning to sacrifice herself.  _ Clarke spun around and faced Raven, “Raven! She’s going to get herself killed!” 

****

“She’s going to save people.” 

****

“Five, five people.” 

****

“Exactly, five for the price of one.”

****

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “Anya is  _ possibly  _ one of those five.” 

****

Raven turned to face Clarke, “So? That doesn’t change that fact that five is greater than one.” 

****

The two girls stared each other down, and suddenly Clarke understood the real conversation they were having. Clarke could ask Raven to forget Anya, so she could have Lexa. Or Raven could ask Clarke to let Lexa go, so she could have Anya. With a bitter taste in her mouth Clarke translated the words within Raven’s own.  _ I have Anya, you slapped Lexa, pushed her away.  _ And that was the truth. Raven could lose Anya and say she lost her girlfriend. Clarke could lose Lexa and say she lost a friend. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

Clarke sat through the meeting trying to listen to Lexa while committing every detail of her to memory. The way her brows would bunch together when she was focused or thinking hard. The way her green eyes were the only way to tell what she was thinking. Her beautiful braids Clarke could admire for days. How her plump lips always over pronounced the “k” in her name-

****

“Clarke!” 

****

Jumping in her seat, Clarke looked up from her lidded expression to see Lexa looking at her expantly. Remembering where she was, Clarke realized she had absolutely no idea what the  _ hell  _ was going on. Looking at Lexa’s eyes Clarke saw the amusement swimming in green pools. Lexa ever so slightly nodded her head ‘yes’ and Clarke somehow understood what Lexa was trying to say, trying to get her to say. 

****

“Yes, of course Commander.” 

****

Looking pleased with herself Lexa continued to say a few words of thanks, giving a farewell speech to her crew, allowing Clarke to zone out and pretend this wasn’t happening. Once the meeting was done Lexa passed by Clarke’s seat on her way to speak with one of her officers and managed to slip a note onto the the table in front of Clarke. 

****

_ I’m going to formally say goodbye to my officers, stay behind so we can talk? _

****

Looking up Clarke saw Lexa hugging some girl from the engineering department, with Lexa looking at her. Nodding, Clarke saw what looked like relief flood Lexa’s face. Clarke watched as Lexa went from crew member to crew member. Some giving her hugs, crying on her shoulder. A few saluting her with misty eyes or faraway looks. The energy in the room was palpable; greif. When Lexa was having a discussion with a few of her older staff members, either from the kitchen crew or other odd jobs, they were close enough for Clarke to overhear their conversation. 

****

“They don’t make ‘em like they used to, huh kiddo? I suppose you were the last of a dying breed. Unlike all those posh generals nowadays you  _ actually  _ fight with us, care about us. It was an honor, Heda.” An older man with misty eyes embraced Lexa and Clarke saw the pride on her face. The way she looked like a small child whose parent just hung their artwork on the fridge. 

****

“Please, you know it’s Lexa.” 

****

A man Clarke recognized as Titus walked up behind the young commander, a stern look on his face. “Alexandria, how many times do I have to tell you ‘Lexa’ is a child’s name. You are Heda, a leader, show no weakness.” 

****

One of the older folks, a woman Clarke thought that had to be at least twice Lexa’s age spoke up, “Oh can it Titus! When the children hear stories of her they’ll know her as ‘Lexa the great’, better than all the rest because unlike you she knew when to hold her tongue!” That got a few laughs and Clarke had to hide a smile when Titus stalked out of the room, presumably to prepare for tonight's impending ‘trade’.  

****

Finally Lexa began walking over to Clarke, who stood in greeting. 

****

“Clarke, thank you for-oof,” Lexa was cut off as two small arms wrapped around her waist and a small body slammed into her from behind. Smiling applogictly, Lexa turned a ushered the boy in front of her, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. Clarke recognized the silk blonde hair as Aden’s. 

****

“What are you doing here strik won? (little one)” There was concern written all over Lexa’s face, and Clarke was shocked to see how open she looked, without all her walls there was almost no trace of The Commander on Lexa’s face. 

****

Aden’s only response was to throw himself at Lexa and wrap his tiny hands so tight around her neck Clarke worried he would choke her. His small frame was racked with a hard sob, “Lex, please don’t go. Make someone else go, don’t hand yourself over to that monster. Please. Please Lex.” 

****

The look of sickness that overcame Lexa’s face made Clarke kneel down with the pair. 

****

“Aden. Aden look at me,” Lexa tried to pry the boy away from her so she could look him in the eyes. “I’m not going to tell you that everything is going to be alright, and we both know why, almost nothing ever is.” Aden nodded and Clarke’s heart broke at what hardships this poor boy must have already faced. “I’ve taught you how to fight, how to be a strong and kind leader. Protect Charlotte, lead with her. Listen to Anya and honestly for the most part ignore Titus. Made sure you spar with Lincoln and never show weakness in front of Indra. But it is okay to cry Aden, remember that being weak doesn’t make you less but makes you human, never stop being a human. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll lose battles, you’ll win some, but you could never disappoint me. Okay? Never, no matter how bad you mess up, will I ever be disappointed in you. Be brave, be bold, be smart, be  _ human _ , be wonderful, strik heda. Ai hod yu in (I love you).”

****

“Ai will honor yu, leksa kom triku. Ai hod yu in. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim,” Aden said in a surprising strong voice.

****

“C’mere,” Lexa pulled Aden tightly to her and hugged him until Clarke thought he might snap. “Take care of Clarke for me, okay? She’s special.” 

****

“I will.” 

****

Aden hugged Lexa one more time before running off, although his smile didn’t reach his eyes. 

****

Standing up, Clarke through herself at Lexa, burying her face into her neck. Inhaling her scent, her breath catching when she smelled the salty tang of tears. “Lexa, your shoulders wet.”

****

Clarke felt Lexa’s laugh rumble in her chest, it gave her a warm feeling in her heart, “I’m aware.” 

****

Letting herself melt into Lexa’s embrace, Clarke willed herself not to cry, not to add to the wetness of Lexa’s shoulders. It of course didn’t work. 

****

“Clarke, I’m sorry-” 

****

“No. No don’t apologize. Please don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. I slapped you.” 

****

Lexa laughed again and Clarke wanted this moment to last forever, “It didn’t hurt anyway. Someone should teach you a better fighting stance.” 

****

Clarke smiled into Lexa’s neck, burying herself further and not daring to think about the intimacy of the moment, “Maybe you’ll have to teach me, Commander.”  

****

Lexa said nothing and Clarke realized why, this was her last moment with Lexa.

****

Her voice overcome with emotions Clarke just barely choked out, “Lexa.” 

****

“Shhhh, you’ll be okay.” 

****

Clarke noticed how she said “you’ll” and not “it” or “we”. 

****

“Lexa, what does Heda mean?” 

****

Lexa pulled away to look Clarke in the eyes, “It’s Triku for Commander. Why do you ask?” 

****

Clarke shook her head, looking down, “Just wanted to know.” Slender finger gently, ‘ _ much too gently for a warrior’ _ , Clarke thought, lifted her chin. 

****

“What is it Clarke?” The rawness of Lexa’s eyes, voice, face...it was all to much. 

****

“There’s so many things I want to know about you, want to tell you. Like, I love the way you say my name, how you click the ‘K’, I think it’s sweet how you talk to Aden. Just, I wanted to know the little things about you, like if you sing in the shower, or if you like your coffee black.” The wishful, yearning look in Lexa’s eyes let Clarke know she wanted this too. Wanted more time. It was unspoked, but neither needed more time to fall for the other, at least this way there would be plenty of time for Clarke to try and piece herself back together. But those green eyes, those green eyes that could read Clarke like a damn book had taken too much from her. “Lexa, say something to me, anything.” 

****

Lexa looked deep into Clarke’s eyes, Clarke felt as though she was piercing her very soul. From this close Clarke could see the nick in her left ear, all the beautiful little hairs of her eyebrows. “Ai wish osir had mo time. Ai'm sorry things had kom end like disha, fou emo even had time kom begin. Gon whatever em's worth, ai hod yu in. Ai hod yu in already en ai won't nou.” 

****

And then Lexa was kissing her and Clarke was melting into her touch because the way her hands cupped her face and held her steady at the waist was the best thing Clarke had ever felt and she tasted like a crisp, warm summer night, smelt like fall leaves, or something like that and then Lexa was pulling away and whispering “It’s time” and Clarke was opening her eyes,  _ finally  _ pinpointing what Lexa tasted like-

****

And Lexa was walking out the door and Clarke would never get to tell her she tasted like home.  

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone, I'm back now. If this is full of mistakes please be kind I really don't want to reread my own work. If there's anything you want me to write, ideas for another fic, or just prompt ideas leave a comment below or my Instagram is @coppertop0_o where you can send me requests, if you like of course. Fics I will gladly write with a prompt (as I've been meaning to start them for a while) JessicaJones/TrishWalker, DaphneBlake/VelmaDinkly, anything Black Canary/Felicity Smoak, Black Canary/Nyssa, Carmilla/Luara, JemmaSimmions/Skye, Hermione/Ginny, Luna/Ginny, whatever you guys want! Thanks for reading -Megan


	14. No Place In The Galaxy I'd Rather Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If writer's block is a wall I ran straight into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired, yeesh, this might be delirious ramblings :) As always, Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below. Also, editing? Never heard of it.

**_Clarke POV 3rd_ **

 

Clarke stood in shock with her jaw slack and hands at her sides, staring at the door Lexa had walked out only moments ago. 

 

It wasn’t until a full minute had gone by did Clarke register her limbs, and that Lexa had slipped something into her hands. Looking down at her right hand, Clarke felt something heavy and cold wrapped in something silky and a little warm. Clutched in her grip was a flash of red fabric that Clarke identified as Lexa’s sash.  _ Lexa’s sash.  _ Sinking to the ground, Clarke pulled her knees to her chest as a strangled  _ wail  _ clawed its way from her throat. Unwrapping the soft fabric until it pooled like blood around her palm Clarke revealed Lexa’s dagger. Tribal engravings covered the hilt and the blade was sharpened to a point. For a moment Clarke wondered if Lexa had intended for her to take herself, like something from Romeo and Juliet, before she rethought two things. One; Lexa wasn’t like that, and would push her to live to matter what happened to her, and two; Lexa had probably never read the old earth play. 

 

There was a soft knock on the doorframe, looking up Clarke saw Octavia standing there. 

 

“Hey,” the dark haired girl said meekly. 

 

“Hey,” Clarke croaked out, defeated and lost. Octavia winced at the tone. 

 

“Can I come in?” 

 

Not trusting her voice Clarke nodded and looked back down at the dagger in her hands as Octavia walked into the room and took a seat to her left.

 

There was silence that pressed sucked all the air out of the room where Clarke thought her ears would pop. “We didn’t even get a chance.”

 

Upon hearing the blonde speak, Octavia lifted her head to look at her companion, “I’m sorry, what?” 

 

“A chance. We never got one.”

 

Furrowing her brows Octavia said, “Sorry, a chance at what?” 

 

Clarke sighed, “At anything. We never got a chance at us.” Before Octavia could speak Clarke continued, “I mean, I barely know anything about her, if she’s a morning person, if she likes her coffee black, what size shoe she wears, yet she ended up meaning more to me than anyone else I’ve known for  _ years _ . And why? For what?”

 

Octavia looked at her friend with a sad knowing smile, “I know. It’s the same way with Lincoln. They just show up and suddenly you can’t imagine your life without them and wonder how you managed to get through your life this far without them?”-at Clarke’s nod Octavia smiled and pressed on-”and they make you laugh and smile without even trying and somehow you feel both the most nervous and comfortable you’ve ever been just by looking into their eyes which you swear contain actual stars?” 

 

Clarke looked at Octavia liked she’d told her something blatantly obvious that she’d forgotten the name of. 

 

“Yeah, I’m in the same boat.” 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke could only describe herself as a mess. There were tears, questions thrown at a God she didn’t believe in asking why in the  _ hell  _ he had to be so cynical, and then there were the accusations thrown at the universe  _ demanding  _ to know why the hell it hated her so much. 

 

First her dad. 

 

Then her...Lexa? 

 

Clarke would dissect what they were later when she was laying in her bed staring at the ceiling because the thought of waking up to a world without Lexa in it was enough to make her want to stay awake until her eyes fell out of her skull. Because even though Cage had said he just wanted to trade Lexa for her crew members everyone heard the unspoken words underneath. Cage didn’t have to say he would undoubtedly kill Lexa for everyone to know he would do it.  

 

Raven shifted in the chair next to her, pressing a button on the control panel of the small passenger pod they were in to make the thing stop. 

 

Raven turned to look at Clarke as she turned to open the door to the passenger bay, Octavia and Lincoln going to help load the injured. 

 

“Clarke-” 

 

Without turning to face her best friend Clarke snapped out a bitter, “Save it.” 

 

Raven closed her mouth, swallowed, then turned back to the vast amount of space in front of them. 

 

Both knew there was a price for a lover to be returned, only one felt the damage from the cost. Clarke only prayed it wasn’t all for naught and Anya wasn’t the one hostage killed. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Raven POV 3rd_ **

 

Lincoln rasped his knuckles twice in quick succession on the door to the passenger area in the back of the ship. Lexa had been very specific in her instructions to get the hell outta dodge once the hostages were accounted for. Everyone assumed it was so the ship couldn’t be attacked by any Mountain Men who saw them, Raven knew it was so if Lexa had to use plan ‘B’, plan  _ bomb,  _ then they would hopefully be far enough away that it wouldn’t affect them. 

 

As to not rouse suspicion, Raven had been instructed not to land the ship in the Grounder’s landing bay, but instead pull up alongside the ship far enough away no one would, with luck, notice.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Clarke POV 3rd_ **

 

As Raven stopped the pod for the second time Clarke’s breath was stolen as she looked out of the windshield and saw the glass protecting one of the many hallways of the ship. Clarke almost laughed at the irony of it all. How out of so many hallways and windows and corridors in the ship they had stopped in front of the one where the exchange was taking place.  _ Fucking perfect.  _

 

With Octavia’s help, Clarke had braided Lexa’s sash into her hair, and from Lincoln she received a sheath to hold her weapon. With them both Clarke could almost imagine Lexa was still with her, holding her gently. But here, with her presented in front of her with Titus behind her, facing Cage Wallace with all the mock (or real I mean it is Lexa) confidence in the world, Clarke could not deny Lexa would most likely be killed the second she stepped foot on Cage’s ship. 

 

Once Clarke took a closer look at Lexa, she gasped when she realized what she was wearing. She was stripped of all her armor, wearing tight white clothing that probably gone underneath something formal instead the tight black clothes Clarke had seen before. Gone was any semblance of the Commander save for her black face paint. Now that Clarke looked at it, she got the sickening impression it looked like tears, black tears of blood only a Nightblood, a child of war, could cry. 

 

She had been dressed up for her own funeral. 

 

Clarke hated how she was still attracted to her. 

 

Cage extended one of his huge dark hands towards Lexa, and she started walking towards him. However, after she took nothing short of two steps away from Titus did he make a gesture with his hand. 

 

Clarke watched in horror as she could do nothing to warn Lexa about the gun Titus was pulling from his robes, or of the trigger being pulled on said gun, and the firing of a bullet that lodged itself into Lexa’s midsection, causing her footing to falter. 

 

Very rapidly, black blood seeped from the hole in the center of Lexa’s body, staining the front and back of her pristine white shirt black with the blood of the Commander. Clarke threw herself at the windshield, pounding with her fists, screaming Lexa’s name, and not caring how it hurt her already raw throat. 

 

There was a strangled sob from a limping Anya that had forced her way past Lincoln into the cockpit after hearing of the condition for her return. 

 

There were mummers of “Heda” from behind, but all Clarke could think about was how it was Lexa who got shot for her people. Not “Heda.” 

 

Lexa who was now being dragged into Cage’s ship while his crew flooded The Grounder fighting the Grounders for control. Lexa who would most likely be thrown into a cell where she would bleed out alone, scared, and confused. Clarke wondered for a brief moment if Lexa would be scared, or if she would lie there with her infuriatingly attractive smirk on her lips, accepting things for the way they were. Or if her quick mind in its panicked, weakened state would come to the conclusion that one of her closest associates had shot her in the back. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_POV Octavia 3rd_ **

 

Octavia could swear at any moment she would open her eyes and somehow she would wake up in her bed next to Lincoln and she could go find Raven making out with a healthy Anya while Clarke looked at a not shot Lexa with heart eyes. But as it was Octavia found herself staring dumbly out the front window of the ship while sobs echoed off the walls around her. More emotion coming from stoic people than she had ever seen was making Octavia feel as if her world was spinning and Clarke’s heartbroken wails certainly didn’t help matters. 

 

A normally impassive and uncaring Anya collapsed into a shell-shocked Raven who barely managed to catch her girlfriend in the swivel chair that threatened to topple them over. Octavia looked on as the woman who was slowly becoming her idol and friend spluttered black blood from her stained lips. 

 

She turned and let Lincoln bury himself in her neck even though he was a good head or so taller. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_POV Raven 3rd_ **

 

Raven pulled into the landing bay and was met with a relieved Indra. However, even though the prisoners were back the air on the ship was tense and silent.  

 

After getting the radio go-ahead that all of Cage’s men had been killed Raven had pulled the ship into the landing bay and stared blankly out the window until only she, Clarke, Lincoln, Anya, and Octavia were remaining on the ship. 

 

“Raven, listen, I understand if you don’t want to-” 

 

Raven cut Anya off before she could finish, “Whatever it is, I’m in.” 

 

Anya looked down at her with a certain fondness and admiration and swiftly leaned down and gently brushed a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you,” she gently whispered into her ear before standing up again. Raven fought the blush that overtook her face and thanked whatever deity that was out there that she had darker skin. However, she almost didn’t care thanks to the pure happiness she felt at seeing her girlfriend again. 

 

“I’m going after that ship and killing Cage’s ass. Are you all in?” Anya asked the question even though Raven thought she knew as well as herself that there was likely going to be no objections. 

 

“Always,” Lincoln nodded in convection while Octavia supplied a simple “Of course.”  

 

Raven looked at a pale Clarke who seemed to be shutting down where she sat, “For Lexa.” 

 

Anya locked eyes with Indra while the rest of the hostages and a shocked Echo were getting off the ship, Indra merely nodded before addressing the person nearset her. Pushing a button, Raven closed the doors to the back of their little ship and got out of the hanger bay, following the ship that was already starting to disappear into the depths of space.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_POV Abby 3rd_ **

 

Abby was going to kill her daughter if she hadn’t already done it herself. Along with Raven, who was basically her second daughter, and Bellamy, who was pretty much her son. 

 

“Bellamy! What were you thinking? You just let Raven and Clarke leave the ship when there was a fight going on?”  

 

Bellamy bristled, “Oh, you think I didn’t wanna go with them? Octavia’s over there!”

 

Abby lowered her voice to an angry calm, “Then you should know damn well how stupid it was to let those two girls leave.” 

 

Bellamy gave an exasperated sigh and turned running big, calloused hands through floppy unkempt black hair before looking Abby in the eyes again. “Look, I couldn’t have stopped them if I tried. Raven and Anya are two of the same type of crazy, O’s got Lincoln following her around like a lost puppy and Lexa has Clarke wrapped around her finger. What did you want me to do? Trust me, I wanted to go with them.” 

 

Growing tired of having a pointless argument Abby finally let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding and let some of the tension ease out of her shoulders. “I know. I know. I just wish I knew more about this Lexa girl. Tell me, from what you know of her, is Clarke safe?” 

 

Bellamy looked older than he was. Dark bags hung under his eyes that peered out from under his overly messy hair. There was a bit of stubble lining his jaw and upper lip and thanks to the lighting of the ship Abby was under the allusion his black hair was more silver than her own nowadays. However, Bellamy took a step forward out of the light and the shadows reflected on the curves of his boyish grin. 

 

“Oh, Mrs.Griffin, your daughter is in the safest place in the galaxy.” 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if there's any prompts or ships you want to see comment down below or message me on Insta @coppertop0_o (or snap which is the same @) I'm posting this chapter the day before Thanksgiving, so I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving whenever you read this, or if you're not into that kinda thing I hope you have a wonderful day with family, friends, the houseplants, Chipper the pet raccoon, whomever/whatever, even if it's just you treating yourself to that Pumpkin spiced latte you swore you wouldn't get this fall. Whatever it may be. wherever you may be, I love you and thank you for reading, go do something great, hold the door for someone, say "please" and "thank you", have a great day, my friends. -Megan


	15. Mount Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this isn't the longest of chapters, but it's filled with a lot of action and I think it's very suspenseful. HOWEVER, BE WARNED, THERE IS LOTS OF GORE IN THIS CHAPTER AND I DON'T MEAN THE "OH GOD SOMEONE'S BLEEDING" KIND. I MEAN THE "OH SHIT ANYA IS SPLITTING PEOPLE" KIND. There, you have been warned. I've been doing a lot of writing lately so check out some of my other stories if you want. "When Nothing Means Everything" (Jessica Jones/Trish Walker) and there's going to be a Marceline/Bubblegum fic coming up too. As always, Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below! Thanks for reading -Megan

 

**_POV Clarke 3rd_ **

 

Clarke felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. There were shouts from behind her, a cry of pain that sounded too much like Raven for Clarke to be comfortable...but still, Clarke kept running. There was a grunt to her right and Clarke had only mere seconds to dodge a fist flying towards her face. She faltered in her running, feet almost tripping over each other and hands coming up to block her face, but then Lincoln was by her side, punching her attacker in the ribs. 

 

“ _ GO CLARKE! RUN!”  _

 

Clarke nodded, then pushed onward, hastily trying to pull Lexa’s dagger from her belt while trying to run in the direction Echo had told her. In about another ten or twenty feet, Clarke came across a split. The hallway came to and end, and the blonde would either have to turn left or right. Jerking her head in the direction of each hall, Clarke noticed a dark trail of blood at the end of the right hallway and sprinted in that direction. Panic filled her veins as the amount of blood left on the yellow carpeted floor increased, in both quantity and freshness. Finally, Clarke skidded to a halt in front of a cell of sorts. 

 

The cell in question was actually a room with a thick (I had to resist typing “thicc”) post in the middle of the room that seemed to come out of the floor itself. There, kneeling in the middle of the room, was Lexa. As soon as Clarke laid eyes on the brunette she ran to her left and beat her fists on the door. Lexa’s head lifted, slowly, from where she had it bowed, forehead pressed into the rough wood. In a manner that  _ screamed  _ of Lexa’s exhaustion, she turned her head towards the door.  

 

As soon as worried blue met milky green, a fire was lit in blue orbs and Clarke felt a strength she had never known before. Channeling all her anger at Cage, love towards Raven and Octavia, grief for her father, and all her  _ something  _ for Lexa, Clarke rammed her entire body up against the door and fell into the room. 

 

Once Clarke could get her hands under her, she was sprinting towards Lexa and dropping to her knees. There was a rope tied around her slender wrists and Clarke’s heart ached when she saw the lack of burn marks on her. How her wrists dangled in the rope, how she didn’t fight back. But it wasn’t that Lexa was too weak, no, Clarke was sure she could still break herself free. Not that’d she’d have anywhere to go, no. Lexa hadn’t anticipated anyone coming to her rescue, and that fact was by far sadder than its predecessor.

 

“Cl-K-Klark?” Lexa stuttered, voice sounding dry though black blood ran over her pale, plump lips. 

 

Clarke felt tears streaming down her face, “Yes baby, I’m here.” 

 

Neither said anything about the term of endearment that slipped Clarke’s lips as the blonde cradled Lexa’s head. Although Clarke wasn’t sure Lexa was conscious enough to hear half of what she was saying. Lexa fell into Clarke, her body growing heaver, “I-I...I thought... _ hoped _ ...y-you’d c-come.” 

 

Clarke smiled through her sobs into Lexa’s hair as she worked the ropes around the latter’s wrists with the dagger. 

 

“A-are t-the...the...the others...s-safe?” 

 

Clarke slipped the knife into her belt as the ropes snapped apart, kissing Lexa’s temple, “Yes, yes they’re safe. All thanks to you.” 

 

“B-bomb,” Lexa stammered, weakly raising her finger to tap her chest, “B-be c-c-careful. B-bomb Klark.” 

 

Clarke felt sick as she gently lifted Lexa’s shirt to see a hole in her mid-section. Trying not to retch, Clarke sucked in a breath and lifted her shirt of further to see a small bomb. A design she would recognize anywhere. 

 

_ Raven  _

 

Pushing the thought away for later, Clarke attempted to pick Lexa up. However, the brunette was fading fast and Clarke was stuck with her dead weight. Gritting her teeth, Clark lifted the taller woman into her arms the best she could and left the room as quick as she could manage. As soon as she rounded the corner Clarke ran into Lincoln, who took one look at the girl in her arms before picking her up as gently as he could in a hurry, and slinging her over one of his broad shoulders in a manner that made the small lithe figure in his arms look like a ragdoll. 

 

“Hurry klark, osir need kom bants,  _ nau _ !” Lincoln shouted before taking off the way he came, a limp Lexa on his shoulder and a Clarke on his heels. The blonde hadn’t the slightest idea what he’d said, but understood “Hurry” and her name and that was enough. She told herself she would need to get Lexa to teach her the language later, when she made it out of this, trying her best to ignore the little voice in the back of her head that said “ _ If _ ”. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_POV Anya 3rd_ **

 

Anya was trying to both kill Cage Wallace, make sure Clarke got away to find Lexa, and watch over her scrappy, cocky, overconfident girlfriend to make sure she didn’t get herself killed. 

 

Anya wasn’t surprised when the last thing proved most difficult. 

 

Deep down Anya knew Cage was just following his father’s orders, but when he followed them out with that pleased little smile on his face, she couldn’t help but want to kill him in the slowest ways possible. There was a flaw in Cage’s footing that Anya didn’t hesitate to take full advantage of. In a second she pulled a gun from the hollister on her hip and tossed her sword into her left hand. Pointing the gun at Cage’s stomach, planning to kill him in a similar manner to how he kill- _ wounded _ -Lexa, Anya was momentarily surprised when Cage grabbed her gun hand and forced it behind her head. He squeezed tight around her hand until she lost feeling and her grip on the gun loosened. Instead of taking the gun from her hands though, Cage just increased his grip on her hand on the handle, and pushed one of his big fingers into the spot around the trigger. Cage brought his other huge hand form behind his back to punch Anya in her unprotected side, breaking her ribs in the process. While Anya was briefly slowed, Cage pressed down on the trigger, and Anya felt the gun drawing back and ripping the flesh between her thumb and pointer finger. However, the pain was forced down almost as quick as it came when Anya heard Raven cry out in pain. A sick smile graced Cage’s lips that faltered when he looked at the fire burning in Anya’s hazel eyes. Yelling in a frenzied rage, Anya pulled her left hand forward and drove the tip of her bloodied blade into Cage’s sternum, working the blade back and forth as she tried to get it to break the bone of his chest in the small space between them. As soon as she felt and heard the telltale sign of bones cracking and felt Cage’s body still in front of her, she pulled her blade upward until it was sticking through his throat, leaving a slit of carnage in its path.   

 

“ _ Ai hope yu burn in the deepest pits gon hell, where even the devil won't go _ !” Anya spit in his face, watching with a sated satisfaction as the life fled from his eyes. So far from the usual final farewell was Anya’s words she could feel the dishonour in her bones, however, she felt he got what he deserved. After all, no one would mess with  _ her  _ Raven. 

 

As soon as she pulled her blade from Cage’s body and he fell limp to the floor, Anya turn and ran to Raven’s side. She was laying on her front, a bullet embedded in her lower back. Panic filled Anya as her girlfriend remained unresponsive. However, Anya’s bloody, clammy, hands could  _ just  _ make out the weak pulse in Raven’s sweaty neck. Heaving a sigh of relief, Anya quickly spun with her sword drawn when heavy footsteps could be head coming towards her and Octavia. When Lincoln and Clarke appeared at the end of the hallway with a limp figure, Anya stood with Raven cradled in her arms and called for Octavia. The four ran to the ship, and Clarke threw Lexa’s bomb behind them. They boarded the ship and Octavia sped them away as fast as they could fly while Clarke searched for the button Lexa held. When she finally found it in her boot, they were far enough away that she pushed the button. Those who could watched as Mount Weather blew up behind them. 

 

Anya turned to Clarke, no remorse whatsoever in her body, though the blonde seemed to be crying. From blowing up the ship to Lexa or Raven’s current conditions she couldn’t tell which, “Where should we go?” 

 

“My mother, she’ll be able to take care of Raven,” Clarke looked over her shoulder at Lexa, who Anya had never thought looked so small, or pale, or weak in her entire life, and Anya had memories of her when she was nothing more than a scrappy kid who had green eyes too big for her skull and ribs that seemed to poke out of her thin skin.  

 

“What about Lexa?” Anya prayed to all the gods she could think of, whether she believed in them or not, hoping against hope Lexa wasn’t already dead. 

 

Clarke was already walking towards the brunette, “She won’t make it. I’m going to have to treat her now.” 

 

Anya gulped and hoped the blonde her best friend had fallen for knew what she was doing. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS it should come as a given by now that I haven't read through my work. There is bound to be mistakes so plz don't kill me. -Megan


	16. A Cry For Help: Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Lexa gonna survive the bullet in her stomach? Will Raven survive the one in her back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably missed like 110 mistakes while I "reread" this. You know the drill if you've made if this far and bother to read the notes and the top and bottom. As always Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below! (I almost forgot my own phrase, yeesh) TrigedaslengTranslations at the bottom (notes)

**_Clarke POV 3rd_ **

 

It wasn’t that the idea of opening someone up that repulsed Clarke, although she supposed it should, it was the idea of opening  _ Lexa  _ up in particular that bothered her. Clarke watched as Lincoln ripped the front of Lexa’s more black now than white shirt until it fell limp at her sides, only attached to her body by the sleeves.   

 

“Does anyone have an extra knife?” already Clarke was wiping Lexa’s knife on her pant leg and holding the tip to the smooth skin of Lexa’s abdomen. Wordlessly Anya handed her a knife, “Okay, we need to heat this knife up somehow...unless there’s a medical kit on board?” Clarke looked to her left where Lincoln stepped away from a cabinet shaking his head no.

 

“We gave it to Indra when we dropped off the hostages, so Nyko would have more supplies.” 

 

Clarke sighed but turned back to the task at hand, swallowing the bile that rose in her throat at the thought of what she was about to do, Clarke took one more steading breath and drove the blade into Lexa’s skin. Thinking to herself that she needed to kiss the brunette in praise later for keeping her knife as sharp as it was. Were she not cutting open her  _ whatever  _ Clarke would have shuddered at the thought of trying to do “surgery” with a dull knife. When she finished making an incision that was about seven inches long, three from the top and three from the bottom as the bullet hole itself was about an inch long, Clarke pulled the knife from Lexa’s stomach and froze when she heard a groan. 

 

“Owwwww….Klark...beja stop….em hurts…..” weakly Lexa rolled her head to the side. Clarke didn’t know whether to cry in relief or mortification, as Lexa was awake, but that also meant she could feel what Clarke was doing. 

 

“Lex, baby I know, but I need you to be strong okay? You’re the Commander, I know you’re strong.” Clarke hated herself for saying it, because she knew full well, much like Anya and Lincoln, that Lexa and the Commander were almost entirely separate entities. Two souls, to spirits, one body, one will.  

 

All at once Lexa’s body grew stiff and her eyes opened, at first Clarke was worried, that maybe the pain actually was too much, but then Lexa’s tear-filled eyes met Clarke’s and in a bout of strength Lexa whispered, “Ste bilaik hogeda ai laik kom yu?” Clarke didn’t know what she’d said but the air in the small room seemed to stop and Clarke knew whatever it was would have broken her heart. But then Lexa stared straight ahead and Clarke knew that was her way of saying “go ahead.” So Clarke went ahead and plunged her hand into Lexa’s midsection and grabbed the handle of the hot knife Lincoln handed her. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke knew she would never be able to get the feeling of touching Lexa’s organs, who was still awake and sweating, from her mind even if she tried. She expected there to be a scream of pain, because Clarke  _ knew  _ it hurt like hell, or at least a groan, but Lexa remained stoic and unmoving even when Clarke found the bullet close to her spine and pulled her hand out. 

 

Octavia had long since moved away from the scene in front of her, electing to take Anya’s place by Raven’s side. Blindly Clarke handed Anya the sticky black bullet and moved back to the cut in Lexa’s stomach to start cauterizing the parts of Lexa’s organs that the bullet had punctured. Using the old method of heating and cooling a blade was time-consuming and put the patient through unnecessary pain, but Lexa never so much as batted an eye. However, Clarke found navigating Lexa’s entrails hard due to the pure blackness of her blood. Unlike red blood, she couldn't see through it and the way it stained Clarke’s hand made her want to gag. Initially all the blood oozing from Lexa’s wound AFTER Clarke had removed the bullet alerted the blonde to the possibility of internal bleeding, and gradually the amount of blood that seeped from Lexa became less and less until the only blood that came out at all was the blood spilled due to the intrusion of Clarke’s hand. 

 

Clarke pulled her hand out and pressed the hot blade one last time to Lexa’s stomach to close the wound as the sizzle and putrid smell of flesh burning filled the tiny room until Octavia was dry heaving in the corner by Raven’s bed. However, Clarke knew Lexa wasn’t out of the woods yet as Lexa had lost  _ extreme  _ amounts of blood and it showed. Her skin over the last two and a half hours had gone from pale to an almost ghastly white, a far cry from her usual honey tan. Her lips and eyes seemed dull in colour, and black rings outlined Lexa’s sunken in eyes.

 

Looking up at Anya with a blank face, disturbed by what she’d just done, Clarke asked, “Do you know what blood type she is?” 

 

Anya’s brow furrowed in confusion and Clarke’s heart seized when she thought why. Lexa mentioned she and the rest of her crew came from more primitive colonies. “Um...we call her a Nightblood, due to the darkness in colour-” 

 

“Nevermind,” Clarke sighed. Anya narrowed her eyes and didn’t look too pleased about being interrupted, but said nothing when Lexa’s breath seemed to be pulled from her body and turned shallow. Clarke whirled on her heels, panic in her eyes when she saw the beads of sweat on Lexa’s forehead and the way her body seemed to grow still. First her lower half, which seemed pinned to the table as her arms shook and her fingers twitched. Clarke yelled, “She’s going into cardiac arrest!” when Lexa stopped moving all together and Lincoln looked up at Clarke with confusion in her eyes. As well as hurt and panic, however, the little bit of understanding she saw deep within scared her the most. 

 

“Her pulse’s stopped!” 

 

Clarke went to work doing chest compressions in a frenzied, hopeless version of CPR. Octavia rushed over, fear etched into the grime on her face. 

 

“Clarke what’s happening? What do you need?” 

 

“Something electrical, like-like a defibrillator!” there wasn’t time for Clarke to thank the heavens that someone from her ship who  _ knew  _ what a defibrillator was, before she was cupping Lexa’s jaw and pushing her own air into cold, unmoving lips, until she saw Lexa’s chest rise out of the corner of her eyes, then she went back to compressions. The years of training had been drilled into her head since she knew what the things she were told to do meant. Compressions. Tilt head, breath, wait for the chest to rise. Repeat

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_POV Abby 3rd_ **

 

“There’s a ship coming in the distance! Do I patch through communications?” Harper asked, having been promoted to Communications Officer in Octavia’s absence. Abby stood in the Ready Room (which I googled, and the “Ready Room” is the place on a Star Trek ship where the Captain sits, and imitates a Captain’s “Sea Cabin” just an FYI) to the left of Jaha, who was sat in his Captain’s chair, with Marcus Kane to his right. 

 

“Are they of our branch?” Jaha asked, leaning forward in his chair as if he could see the name of the ship approaching them. 

 

The Chief of Operations, Harold, turned and addressed his Captain, “Sir, the defense systems are at full power and the shields can be put up at your order.” 

 

“Put them up.” 

 

“Why? That ship is small, there’s no way it’s an attack ship! What if the people on that pod need help?” Marcus shouted, Harold’s hand stalled. 

 

“Doesn’t matter, There’s no help we have to give them,” Jaha sat flippantly (is um, it this a word?), making a gesture with his hand in the air as he talked. 

 

Abby thought back to what Bellamy had told her, “Wrong. We have medical supplies. Those people on that ship could need our help.  _ MY  _ help.” 

 

Just as Jaha was about to protest further, and no doubt flex his bought and paid-for rank on them, Marcus spoke. “Let’s at least hear what they have to say. If they sound shady, we can put the shields up.”    

 

Normally Abby couldn’t stand Marcus’ forgiving and understanding personality, his ability to find the middle ground in almost any situation, but she had confided in him about Clarke and Raven’s disappearance and knew this was his way of trying to help. The two shared a look over the back of Jaha’s chair. Abby nodded, and Marcus gave her a small smile. 

 

“Okay, Harper-” 

 

“This is the A.R.K 100, Harp-” before Harper could finish her sentence there was a shout in the background then a voice Abby didn’t expect to hear flitted over the staticky radio. 

 

“ _ Anya Woods of the Triku. I’m here with my Commander Alexandria Woods, Intelligence Officer, Soldier Blake, and passengers Clarke Griffin and Raven Reyes.”  _

 

Jaha spoke up, and Abby’s heart was in her throat as she heard the panic in Anya’s throat, the girl who seemed to have been born without emotion at all. “Are you in danger-” 

 

_ “We were attacked and raided by Mount Weather, a rogue Starfleet ship. Long story short my Commander was betrayed and shot by our Chief of Boat and Raven was shot in a fight as collateral-”  _ there was a sob in the background and the ship was getting closer.  _ “Please, Abby, if you’re listening help Raven. Clarke’s trying hard with Lexa but she said she needed you to help Raven. Please, Abby, I-I can’t lose my best friend and the love of my life. Please.”  _

 

Anya’s pleading voice spurred Abby into action and she used her power as Head Doctor to order Harold to open the bay doors. Upon hearing her daughter was alive Abby felt relieved, but hearing she was possibly doing surgery, depending on where Lexa had been shot, worried her. Clarke had helped her in surgeries before, something some of her paid interns wouldn’t even do at times, but she had never performed one on her own, and never to someone she cared about. Abby could tell her daughter felt strongly about the stoic brunette, and although Abby couldn’t deny the girl’s obvious good looks, she wondered what Clarke saw in the other girl. 

 

She contemplated this as she ran down the hallways, Jackson seeing her run by and flanking her after seeing her distress. Lexa was far from Clarke’s usual love interests, which were usually loud, outgoing, wild boys and the occasional girl. But Lexa was quiet, reserved, mysterious, contemplating, strong, and quite frankly, seemed to be much,  _ much _ , smarter than all Clarke’s previous romances. And while Abby hoped the change was a good thing, she also saw the determined, and ruthless undertone in Lexa that Abby was afraid would break Clarke’s heart. Before Abby could get much further into her head she was in the loading bay, and the ramp of a pod ship was being lowered. The metal letting out with a  _ *whoosh* _ that was drowned out by a desperate plea. 

 

“Lexa, please! Come back, come back to me!” 

 

Abby almost faltered in her running as she recognized the voice of her daughter. She hated how broken and raw it sounded, much like the way Clarke’s voice had been when she’d been told of her father’s death. However, this sounded  _ much  _ more pained and Abby didn’t have the brain space to contemplate why. 

 

The ramp was inches from the ground now and Abby watched in horror and she watched her daughter pound on Lexa’s chest with closed fists, tears streaking her face so heavily it looked like someone had wiped all the grime from her face while leaving the rest of her body caked in dirt. 

 

“Clarke!” Anya shouted, tears in her eyes as she tried to stop the blonde’s assault. There was understanding written on her face, and Abby knew she comprehended the fact that Lexa was dead.   

 

“NO! Lex, Lex, baby, please! I won’t give up on you! Anya let me go! Let me go! Let me GO!” with one final struggle and her elbow in Anya’s face Clarke was dropped and running to Lexa’s pale, stiff body on the small table in the center of the small room on the ship. 

 

Abby was running up the ramp, about to pull Clarke away herself when Clarke gave one final beat on Lexa’s chest, hit the trigger on what looked like a taser, then leaned forward and pushed air into Lexa’s grey lips. 

 

Nothing happened. 

 

Clarke was sobbing hard onto Lexa’s chest, her still body jolting just a bit as the last bits of electricity ran through her system, before Clarke pressed her own warm, salt slicked lips, onto Lexa’s cold ones. 

 

Cold lips that Abby saw push back into Clarke’s own-

 

_ Wait.  _

 

Lexa’s eyes flew open as her long, nimble hands gripped the steel edges of the table in a white-knuckled grip. 

 

Clarke sprung away from Lexa so fast Abby was positive she had whiplash before starting disbelievingly at Lexa’s face. 

 

A sob wretched Clarke’s body from head to toe before she flung herself into Lexa’s arms and kissing her soundly again. 

 

Abby winced when Lexa did as Clarke’s body rammed into Lexa’s own. Abby saw the burn on Lexa’s stomach and the already forming bruises on Lexa’s chest from Clarke’s hands, and well as the many cuts and bruises littering the rest of her almost topless body, save for her blood-soaked sports bra. But why was her blood so dark? It looked almost black, Abby shook her head, focusing on the happy crying face of her daughter as she hugged and kissed Lexa again.  _ It’s just the lighting _ she told herself. 

 

Lexa gently, albeit firmly, pried Clarke away from herself, panting more than Abby though someone of her physique would from a kiss. 

Clarke looked at her, confused and hurt, until Lexa *booped* her on the nose and smiled. Her voice came out rough and scratchy, and a little trickle of black joined the black smeared all over the rest of her. Abby for the life of her couldn't figure out what the substance was. Tar? Then, she saw just the slightest twinge of red in the black, something someone with only a life she had would know. 

 

Someone who saw too much blood to not be able to identify it. 

 

Abby looked at Lexa, mystified, disturbed, and curious about her peculiar blood. However, her attention snapped back to the girl in front of her when she spoke. 

 

“Cl-hark...igh….can’t….breee-theee,” Lexa barely whispered, annoyance at her own voice written on her face. Green eyes were screwed up with the rest of a still mostly pale face, when Lexa started coughing, spewing up the leftover blood in her mouth and throat, most of which was sprayed onto Clarke. 

 

Lexa looked at Clarke sheepishly, “s-s’rry,” she managed. Clarke looked softly at Lexa, before wrapping her arms around a-now sitting-Lexa’s neck and burning her face into Lexa’s shoulder. Abby looked away from the intimate moment, eyes stealing when she saw Anya carrying Raven toward her. 

She called over her shoulder at a Jackson that was already walking towards the medical wing, “Ready my table!” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other works if you want, if not I hope this sated your Clexa craving for a bit. If you wanna suggest something, fic prompt or otherwise, or you just wanna contact me, my Insta is @coppertop0_o  
> Thanks for reading this far! -Megan 
> 
>  
> 
> Translations: 
> 
> "Ow, Klark, beja stop, em hurts" "Ow, Clarke, please stop, it hurts" 
> 
> "Ste heda hogeda ai laik kom yu?" "Is Commander all that I am to you?" 
> 
> And I use a Translator cuz I'm not that cool and can only say basic things in Trigedasleng, because I use the translator


	17. I'll Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Fluff. Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've been studying for my SOL and working on drawing all my Christmas presents for my friends. I haven't finished the pictures but I did really well on my test. So, after the drama of the last chapter I wanted to post something sweet and fluffy, I didn't know it was going to take me a week right T_T anyway, I hoped you enjoyed the little Octavia/Lincoln moment there. Also, I finished writing this chapter at like 12 in the morning so cut my sleep deprived, delirious self some slack. Yeah, there's NO WAY I'm reading over this, again. Thanks for reading! And sticking around after the wait. As Always, Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below! EDIT AFTER POSTING: I just noticed I posted the first chapter for this like 3 months ago, where has the time gone?!?!?! If you've been here since the beginning, comment down below, you're a real one because I know the first few chapters of this weren't the best yet you stuck with it anyway. Thank you, really -Megan

**_POV Lexa 3rd_ **

 

Lexa hadn’t felt this much pain in awhile, and even then, just seeing Clarke when she woke up from  _ wherever  _ had already started making her feel better. 

 

Anya had looked her up and down, before continuing to carry Raven off with Dr.Griffin after she saw Lexa’s nod. Lexa had no idea what happened to the fiery latina, but knew she meant a great deal to Clarke, and felt bad that her rescue had probably caused the injury. 

 

“Cl-lark-” Lexa coughed, not entirely trusting her voice but pushing onward anyway, knowing not talking at all was bound to make using it later worse, “You c-can...g-go...af-after Rafen...ifff….you want.” She hated that she sounded like a weak smoking frog, but also didn’t mind Clarke was the person she was showing weakness to. Until Octavia spoke up from behind her, and she turned to the left to see LIncoln. Which made her blush. 

 

“Lexa I-” 

 

“No, Clarke, you should stay here. Raven would understand that, as long as you promised to see her when she woke up. It’s important that you stay with Lexa right now, after everything she’s been through, after everything you’ve  _ both  _ been through,” Octavia said sternly, a finger pointed at Clarke’s face. Clarke looked like she was about to protest until she looked over at Lexa, and a look that Lexa thought looked familiar but couldn’t place, crossed her face and she nodded to Octavia with an “Okay.” 

 

Octavia began walking down the ramp while Lincoln turned towards Lexa, conren on his face. “Heda? Do you want me to-” 

 

Lexa smiled even though it hurt to do so, “Go, she’s going to need you.” 

 

Lincoln looked at her sternly, before smiling a little and stepping forward. One of his big rough hands came up to gently rest on Lexa’s still somewhat pasty cheek, and he rested his forehead on her own. “Ai hod yu in strik heda, beja nou scare me like bilaik again,” he whispered before backing away with a smile. He then kissed the top of Lexa’s head before-gently-ruffeling Lexa’s hair.

“Don’t call me that,” Lexa said in a stern tone, though her slight smile showed that she didn’t mean it. LIncoln grinned wickedly over his shoulder before following Octavia the rest of the way down the ship. 

 

Lexa smiled after him, watching the way Octavia intertwined their fingers when he reached her before turning back to face Clarke. Lexa took just a moment to look into her favourite pair of blue eyes before looking down at her stomach and tenderly touching the burn mark on her stomach, “Thank you, Clarke, for saving me.” 

 

There was a moment of silence where Lexa though through how many ways Clarke had saved her, until two steady fingers were being placed under her chin and Lexa allowed her head to be tilted up by Clarke. The blonde looked at her with something in her eyes Lexa couldn’t place, but knew she had seen before. Clarke smiled softly and Lexa leaned into her soft hands when they moved to cup her cheeks. “You don’t have to thank me for that Lexa,” Clarke said softly, before using her left hand to brush some hair away from Lexa’s face, “It’s not like you wouldn’t have done the same for me.” 

 

Lexa turned into Clarke palm and placed a soft kiss there, nothing more than a brush of lips, not thinking about what she was doing and just doing what seemed natural, “While that it true Clarke, you must allow me to show my gratitude to you. I have seen many fine men turn away at the face of danger when told they didn’t have pursue it.”

 

Something in Clarke’s eyes changed, adoring blue turned into blue-black and Lexa saw the way Clarke’s smirk grew more flirty than mischievous. Leaning close to Lexas s flew open and were filled with insecurity as her face looked panicked. Clarke tried pulling away fully but was stopped but Lexa’s strong grip on her hip. Moving her right hand to cup Clarkear, Clarke whispered in a breathy, sultry tone, “Then good thing I’m a woman, huh Commander?”  

 

Clarke pulled back just enough that Lexa could look into her eyes, eyes that were closing and getting closer as Clarke leaned forward. Right when Clarke’s lips were about to meet her own Lexa pulled away and gently placed two fingers on Clarke’s lips. Clarke’s eyed jaw, Lexa leaned in and softly placed a kiss on Clarke’s lips. Nothing like the heated kiss the blonde was going to give. Lexa pulled away right when Clarke started relaxing into the kiss and looked into blue eyes that had grown soft.  

 

Moving forward again Clarke meet Lexa in the middle where the two shared a loving kiss. Clarke moaned into Lexa’s mouth, which the brunette swallowed and took as encouragement. Swiping her tongue across Clarke’s lower lip Lexa was granted access into Clarke’s mouth. Tilting her head Lexa deepened the kiss and felt Clarke sigh against her lips. 

 

The two continued to kiss for awhile, making sure to tone it down when a moan was heard from the other, and generally taking things slow to not further hurt Lexa’s healing body. Eventually though, Lexa pulled away and rested her head on Clarke’s chest, wrapping her arms around her in a hug. At first Clarke whined at the loss of contact, then hummed when she wrapped her arms around Lexa in return. 

 

“Clarke…”

 

“Hm?” 

 

Lexa sighed, “We're going to have to go on the run, once Raven’s healed. Maybe before then-” 

 

“Lex, please. Let’s just...let’s just be us for a while. You be Lexa, without the Commander and I’ll be Clarke, just Clarke.” 

 

Lexa smiled even though Clarke couldn’t see it, “Okay then, ‘Just Clarke,’ do you have quarters on this ship?” 

 

Clarke scoffed, “Smartass, and yes, I do as a matter of fact.” 

 

Lexa inhaled a deep breath of  _ Clarke  _ then raised her head to press a kiss on Clarke’s chest before looking up at the blonde, her chin gently resting on the bit of milky skin peeking out under the collar or Clarke’s shirt. 

 

Clarke looked down at the brunette before her and raised a hand to gently run her fingers through her hair. “Let’s go.” 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_POV Clarke 3rd_ **

 

Getting Lexa down the hallway towards her room was hard, considering the brunette stubbornly refused any and all help from Clarke, under the pretense “I’m fine, I’ve got it.” 

 

Clarke knew she really just wanted to seem strong and even though Clarke was able to read the discomfort on Lexa’s face, to anyone else, she must have looked as stoic as ever. The shirt, however, was a different story. While Lexa was not embarrassed by her body, and Clarke honestly didn’t blame her because  _ damn _ , she also didn’t like the idea of everyone seeing Lexa in just a sports bra. Even though they hadn’t passed anyone yet, Clarke took off her jacket and handed it to Lexa, “Here.” 

 

Lexa looked down at the blue coat before nodding and slipping it on, her face scrunching up as doing so made her stretch uncomfortably. “Thank you, Clarke.” 

 

Clarke let her thoughts wander, thinking about the events of the last 24 hours until a slight tugging on her shirtsleeve alreated her to Lexa trying to get her attention. “Uh...why’d we stop walking?” Clarke asked dumbly. 

 

Lexa smiled, “Clarke I don’t know where your room it.” 

 

Clarke felt her face heat up and knew she probably looked like a tomato, but she pushed on. “Oh, yeah, sorry...it’s um, it’s just-” 

 

Lexa smirked, “Lead the way,  _ hodnes _ .” Almost immediately after talking however, Lexa flushed such a bright red Clarke almost worried for her health, before she noticed the way Lexa refused to meet her gaze.  

 

“Why are you blushing? What did you say?” Clarke asked, smile pulling at her lips, with a laugh she added, “What did you call me?” 

 

“Nothing,” Lexa replied too quickly to not be suspicious.  

 

Clarke didn’t know what came over her but thought it had something to do with the girl next to her, but before she could think about it Clarke was jogging a little ahead of Lexa only to stop in front of her and wrap her arms around the brunette’s neck. Instantly Lexa’s hands were on a giggling blonde’s waist as she tried to keep them from falling over. 

 

“What’d you call me, Lex?” Clarke asked lightly before her tone turned calmer and she scratched gently at the little hairs at the back of Lexa’s neck, “What’s got you blushing so hard?” 

 

Seemingly gaining her confidence back, much to the dismay and delight of Clarke, Lexa smirked, “You.” 

 

Clarke looked deep into Lexa’s big, beautiful, green eyes, and couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward to kiss Lexa even if she wanted to. Because kissing Lexa made her feel safe and also more powerful in all her life. Kissing Lexa felt like fresh untouched snow that had just fallen, and empty parking lots at midnight just after it rains. Kissing Lexa tasted like home and comfort, and Clarke didn’t want to do anything but kiss Lexa for the rest of her life. 

 

Clarke pulled back and looked at Lexa, and saw her look at her differently than her previous lovers. Lexa looked at Clarke like she created the milky way with the tap of her fingers, or was somehow single-handedly responsible for putting the moon in the sky and the leaves on the trees. Lexa looked at her like she was  _ everything,  _ whereas everyone else before her looked at her like she was a quiz. Someone to analyze and learn everything about, to poke and prod and take and feel until she would break. Everyone else held her like she was fragile, like she might break, or they held her so tight she would never be able to leave. 

 

Lexa held her like she single raindrop during a drought, gentle and light because she was something special, and secure because she was a lifeline. 

 

Clarke liked every minute of it. 

 

No, Clarke  _ loved  _ it and it scared her. It scared her to know Lexa could look at her, kiss her, touch her, and she could feel everything all at once. 

 

The comms sounded above them and Clarke felt Lexa drop her hands from her sides. “ _ Can Monty Green and Hayden Clove report to the mess hall, again, Monty Green and Hayden Clove to the mess hall.”  _

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke cringed when she walked into her room and saw how messy it was. Her coffee table had dozens of tissues crumpled up in piles next to the two or three tissue boxes they came from. Random articles of clothes were strewn out all over the floor, the blue sheets on her bed were rumpled and undone, sketchbooks were piled high in random pillars on the floor, and empty coffee mugs were scattered throughout the entire place. 

 

Clarke stepped over the threshold of her door, Lexa on her heels. “So uh...the last time Raven and I really were in here we thought you and Anya were dear and...um, after that...well you know the rest.” 

 

Two strong arms wrapped around Clarke’s midriff and a warm body pressed into her back. Lexa tucked her head into the crook of Clarke’s neck and Clarke shivered when she felt Lexa’s warm breath on the skin of her neck. “I’m sorry I worried you.” 

 

Clarke breathed in a shaky breath and tilted her head back onto Lexa’s shoulder. “I just-I thought you were dead and the last thing I ever did to you was slap you and that wasn’t how I wanted things to end and-” 

 

Lexa placed a soft kiss to Clarke neck and began rocking them slowly, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Costia. We weren’t dating and I didn’t feel the need to tell you about her. I’m sorry she kissed me when she ran off the ship, it’s my fault I didn’t tell you everything.” 

 

Clarke sighed, “It’s not like you had to. God, we barely know each other Lexa, what are we doing?” 

 

Lexa smiled, and Clarke pressed her legs together when she felt Lexa’s smile- _ Lexa’s teeth- _ on her neck, “Then let’s get to know one another. Ask any question, I have to answer.” 

 

“Okay,” Clarke barely breathed out the words. 

 

Lexa and Clarke sat at opposite ends of Clarke’s three cushion teal couch. Facing each other, sitting with their legs crossed under them, Lexa motioned for Clarke to start. 

 

“Basics first?” Clarke asked, not wanting to upset Lexa but also not wanting to deny the curious side of her the chance to learn so many interesting things from the mystery of a woman in front of her. When Lexa merely nodded with a shrug, as if to say “as you wish,” Clarke swallowed hard and paused in thought.  _ Ease into it, you don’t wanna scare her off  _ “Where are you from?” 

 

“Earth, specifically the part of Earth owned by the Triku,” Lexa said without changing faces. Clarke was shocked,  _ no one, _ was from Old Earth, or  _ Earth _ , anymore. Clarke herself had come from one of the few man-made colonies called “E.A.R.T.H.,” which apparently imitated Earth so well it was hard to tell the difference. Clarke had her doubts. Letting the shock show on her face, Clarke asked in astonishment, “What’s it like?” 

 

Lexa looked confused, “Are you not human?” 

 

Clarke paused, then mulled over how it must sound, “No-I mean, yes, I’m human, but I’m from one of the E.A.R.T.H. colonies in sector six.” 

 

Lexa nodded, “Ah, well, my entire crew is from Earth. I must ask, what does your version of my planet look like?” 

 

Clarke thought for a moment, trying to think what year the E.A.R.T.H. colonies had originally been modeled after, “Well, the colonies were built in 2052, when the population on Earth was too much for the planet to handle, so they were all built to look like the big cities, New York, California, Houston, etc. so we’ve just added on and improved since then.” 

 

Lexa’s eyes seemed to shine with all the information she had just been given, then, something seemed to click in Lexa’s head, “What do you know of Earth?” 

 

Clarke thought for a moment, then furrowed her brows.  _ How is Lexa from Earth? Everyone was forced to leave because of the radiation leaks and destruction-  _ “OhmyGodLexadoyoumeanthatit’sactuallysafetobeonEarthnowalsowhydidn’tyourfamilyleave-” Clarke started saying everything all at once and stopped when she noticed Lexa’s eyes seemed to take up her entire face. 

 

“Um, slower?” 

 

Clarke blushed, “Do you think it’s safe on Earth now? I mean, I know your abilities come from radiation, but, like, Earth was already pretty irradiated when we left it. So, how is it now?” 

 

Lexa looked around Clarke quarters, then stood up and wandered back in the direction of Clarke’s kitchen. Clarke watched her go, heard her mumble something to her “Summoner” (a device that could access anyone’s belongings with their pen code and return them back to their location whenever the owner pleased), then watched as Lexa came back into the living room with a small map in her hands. 

 

“Here, this is how my father explained it to me, when I wanted to learn about anything and everything many years ago,” Clarke stored this bit of information for later, and watched as Lexa sat one cushion closer to herself with the map in the bit of space between them, facing Clarke. “So, when the world went to shit, there were seven continents, and five oceans. After the nuclear air settled and the ships of people had taken off, there were about ten hundred thousand or so people left on Earth. Those who were too poor to go with everyone else, too stubborn, too old, too ill, too dangerous, those people split into different groups to try and find places to live in their new environment. There are twelve clans now, the Trigeda, Azgeda, Floukru, Sankru, Yujleda, Ouskejon Kru, Delfikru, Trishana Kru, Podakru, Ingranrona Kur, Boudalan Kru, and the Louwoda Kliron. However, all the continents had been pushed together to create one large piece of land. And even though all twelve clans are recognized on the coalition, only about six are still heavily thriving and used by its residents to identify by.  Many times people use two clan names, as the people have moved so much throughout the year. For the most part, clans occupy all the land, however, half of the Earth is also missing in what we call the “Dead Zone,” or a place which would kill anyone instantly. No one really knows how or why half of the entire planet is missing, but it doesn’t matter.” 

Clarke stared in awe at Lexa. “So, what’s it like? How is Earth?” Clarke’s brain didn’t have enough capacity after today’s events to even  _ try  _ to picture what Earth was like, but she couldn’t deny she was curious. 

Lexa smiled, “I guess you’ll just have to wait until I take you.” Clarke gawked at Lexa’s blut suggestion of Clarke coming to Earth with her, but Clarke couldn’t deny the pull of her heart or her curiosity.

The brunette and the blonde talked for a long while, leaving no topic undiscussed, Clarke smiled at the little things she learned about Lexa. 

_ “No, Trigedasleng cannot be written, it is a spoken language that was created by the Triku to communicate during the wars with the other clans while they were still fighting. To my knowledge, we were the only clan to do so.”  _

_ “Can you teach me?” Clarke asked, leaning forward and looking at Lexa with so much enthusiasm Lexa couldn't have said no if she wanted to.   _

_ “Of course Clarke, while we’re at it I can teach you how to fight and defend yourself too,” Lexa added, eyeing Clarke’s upper arms.  _

_ Clarke flushed a bright pink, “Ok Commander, but you’re gonna have to promise to go easy on me.”  _

_ Lexa laughed, “I won’t hurt you.”  _

_ Clarke believed her.  _

_ “How many different languages can you speak?”  _

_ “Uh, Trigedasleng, English, Latin, Greek, Roman, German, Hebrew, Cyrillic, and Arabic. Oh! And a little French.” Lexa named off the languages with her brow furrowed in thought and Clarke though the way her head tilted to the side was adorable. However, the confession of knowing so many languages, and languages that were hardly spoke of on  _ Old Old Earth _ much less now, was shocking.  _

_ “Lexa?” Clarke prompted, after Lexa’s ‘hm?’ Clarke pressed on, “How and why can you speak so many languages?”  _

_ Lexa smiled, genuine and blinding, “I like reading and learning, and a lot of old texts mention other languages and I just find it all so very fascinating, plus, my father always had a love for history and taught me a lot of the tongues his father, and his father before him knew. My father liked to tease me, saying every generation needed to learn a new language to pass down, however, my preference in partner put a damper on his plans.” Lexa’s brow creased and her smile turned to a frown, “He never treated me any differently for it, you could just  _ see  _ the disappointment in his eyes…” When Lexa trailed off, Clarke didn’t push her, and instead crawled forward on her hands and knees towards Lexa.  _

_ “Can we just, lie here?” Clarke asked, already pressing her body into Lexa’s until she was between the other girl’s legs and snuggled up into her chest.  _

_ “Well I can’t move to say no anymore, can I?”  Lexa teased, although she did pull Clarke closer and snake her arms around the blonde’s waist.  _

Thus, Clarke now found herself with her face tucked under Lexa’s chin, eyes growing heavy as she listened to the steady heart beat beneath her, lulled to- _ almost _ -sleep by the rise and fall of Clarke’s chest. 

Just as Clarke was submitting herself to her fate and closing her eyes, fully prepared to take her nap in the arms of who she swore was the most comfortable person on Earth, Lexa spoke, “We are you planning to visit Raven?” 

The question caught Clarke off guard and she hated how it felt like the bubble she had been in with Lexa was popped. When Clarke shifted to sit up and stretch, she heard Lexa groan underneath her and snapped her gaze down to hand. Her hand that was currently pressing into the stitching on Lexa’s stomach, “Shit! Sorry!” Clarke looked back up to Lexa, who was looking at Clarke with a soft smile. 

“Nou worry about em, hodnes,” Lexa said with a bit of a blush. 

Clarke smiled back at the brunette, before answering, “I plan on going tomorrow, let Anya have her tonight that way I can relieve her in the morning. Maybe I can bring her breakfast or something.”  

Lexa nodded, understanding in her eyes, “Do you want me to come with you?” 

Clarke thought about it, warmth spreading throughout her chest at the offer, “No, that’s okay. I think I’ll go alone and meet up with you later. What are we going to do next, by the way?” 

“Very well.” Lexa paused and thought for a moment, “Well, there’s no doubt Indra will have taken the ship to the nearest place to get it fixed, so we’ll have to go somewhere else. I can use your ship’s radio to send word to her and have her meet us at my base on Earth?” 

Clarke beamed at the idea, “Yeah, okay that sounds great.” 

Lexa nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips, “It is late, are you tired or do you wish for something to eat?” 

At the thought of sleep Clarke felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her, “After today, I’m really not super hungry. Bed?” 

Lexa nodded and stood, dislodging Clarke from her position half on the brunette, “Sleep well Clarke, I’ll see you in the morning. Tell Raven I wish her well.” 

Clarke watched as Lexa made her way towards her door, before deciding to be bold, “Hey! Where are you going? My bed’s that way!” Clarke was now stood with her thumb jerked over her shoulder in the opposite direction Lexa had walked. 

When Lexa turned around, Clarke could see the faint blush on her cheeks, “Are you sure?” 

Clarke scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Get over here you idiot, of course I’m sure!” 

When Clarke settled down into Lexa’s side, and head nestled into Lexa’s shoulder, she sighed in contentment and fell asleep with her arm slung over Lexa’s midsection, a warm hand tracing sleepy promises onto the warm skin of her arm, and a smile on her face. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_POV Octavia 3rd_ **

Octavia settled down onto the couch next to Lincoln, handing him the mug of tea she had made only moments prior. 

“Do you think Raven will be okay?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing. 

Lincoln draped one of his huge arms around Octavia’s shoulders and gently squeezed her to his side, “Raven is a fighter, I doubt she’ll let something like this stop her.” 

Octavia sighed, turning her head into Lincoln’s neck and burying herself, “And what about Heda? You saw as well as I she lost too much of her blood.” 

Lincoln sighed, “Believe me when I say Lexa wouldn’t let death itself stop her without fighting it through hell and back. She’s been through much worse, though none have come this close to killing her. Hopefully Clarke will look after her, maybe she can give Anya and I a break.” 

Octavia looked up at Lincoln, confused, “But she always seems so contemplative and well planned, is she this reckless?” 

Lincoln chuckled, “She can be as calculating as a hawk but as reckless as a raccoon all at once.” 

Octavia laughed, “Strange animals to compare Lexa to, but I appreciate your use of metaphor.” 

Pressing a kiss to the top of Octavia’s head, Lincoln hugged the dark haired girl to his side, “I’m glad  _ someone  _ around here does.” 

Octavia smiled as she dozed lightly, waiting for Anya to come get them when Raven was done with her surgery. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_POV Anya 3rd_ **

Anya really felt like she was in Abby’s way, but she also couldn’t bring herself to leave Raven’s side. So instead, Anya sat where she was and held on tightly to the hand she was holding. After a little while, Abby let out a noise of success, “Got it!” 

Looking over, and trying to avoid seeing the insides of her girlfriend, Anya saw Abby standing with a bloody bullet pressed between the pads of her thumb and index finger. Looking to Anya, Abby smiled and turned to grab the gauze off the table behind her, “I’m just going to stitch her up now.” 

Giving Abby a grateful smile, Anya focused of Raven’s peaceful face in front of her, “You’ll wake up soon, my love, promise. And when you do, I’ll be here.” Anya kissed Raven’s temple and used her free hand to gently push some of the latina’s hair behind her ear. 

“I’ll be here.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update at least one of my other fics tm, no promises. Also, my Insta is @coppertop0_o if you need/want to contact me. Thanks for reading this far and sticking with it! Also, like 9 days till Christmas! Can't wait for winter break! (Yeah, So I started reading through this to edit it, not gonna happen, bear with my mistakes.) -Megan


	18. Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My 3,000 hit's update!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I've been gone for like FOREVER and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I meant to write a Christmas update but I got sick, literally ON Christmas (like, really sick) and I couldn't bring myself to sit and type anything up without it being absolute shit. BUT! I'm back now with a 3,000 hits update that is a little longer (i think, sure as hell felt like it) than my usual chapters. Seriously, thank you to everyone who's read this, and to everyone who is still reading this. When I joined AO3 I honestly never expected so many of you amazing, wonderful, beautiful people, to read anything of mine. Let alone comment on it and enjoy it. And I know 3,000 may not seem like a lot, but means a lot to me and I just want to say thank you. Now that I'm back from (school) break, I hope to get into a habit of updating all my works at least once a week. NO PROMISES! and once again, seriously, thank you guys, I love all of you and honestly seeing your comments pushes me to keep writing no matter how bad I think my story is going. As always Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below! -Thanks, Megan <3 (P.S. I didn't edit this because I literally wrote it all at twelve in the morning, so there's bound to be a millon and one mistakes, goeasy on me. But really, if I edited anything it'd go against my brand)

**_Abby POV3rd_ **

****

Abby walked back into the main room of the medbay, pain medication in hand, only to find Anya asleep with her head on the bed, hand holding Raven’s. Smiling to herself Abby set the cup of medicine on the bedside table before noticing a small splatter of blood on the floor.  _ I thought we cleaned it all up?  _

****

Raven had been out of surgery for nearly two hours, and Anya hadn’t left Raven’s side for a moment. Initially after making sure Raven was okay, Abby wanted to check on Clarke, but Octavia and Lincoln had come in to see Raven and she felt it was necessary she explain the girl’s condition to the two. After disclosing the information that Raven could be paralyzed from the waist down, she then tried her best to comfort Anya; albeit awkwardly. Abby squatted down next to Anya, who looked troubled even in her sleep, and smiled sadly at the girl. Taking the girl’s limp right hand into her own, she saw the damage immediately. The skin between Anya’s thumb and index finger had been torn and ripped away. Shaking the girl awake Abby had to duck a flying fist when crazed eyes opened and didn’t immediately see her own.  _ Okay, note to self, don’t shake Anya awake.  _

****

Anya seemed to calm down after noticing Abby, but when she felt the woman’s touch on her hand she hissed in pain and pulled her hand away; cradling it to her chest. “Here, let me see,” Abby prompted gently. After staring her down for a good few minutes, Anya slowly held her hand out and Abby gently took it in her own. “How did this happen?” 

****

Looking tired, Anya sighed and looked fondly at Raven’s sleeping form. “I was holding a gun, someone forced their hand around my own with a much stronger grip. I loosened my grip, preparing to drop the gun, when he fired. The bullet hit Raven, and when the gun moved back it tore the skin of my hand.” 

****

Abby immediately understood the weight Anya seemed to be drowning under, “Anya, it isn’t your fault Raven got injured.” 

****

When Anya looked back up at her, Abby saw the guilt in her eyes, “Yes, Abby, it is. It was  _ my  _ gun,  _ my  _ fight,  _ my  _ rescue mission... _ my  _ girlfriend.” Anya returned her gaze back to Raven, “ _ My  _ fault.” 

****

There didn’t seem to be a way for Abby to convince her that there was no way in hell it was her fault. However, Abby could bandage her hand and hope Raven would soothe the emotional pain later. For now, Abby considered it enough Anya was letting her see this much of her. “Here, let me bandage your hand.” 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

Abby walked slowly towards Clarke’s room, trying to come up with something to say. Or, better yet, what to feel. Because what  _ did  _ she feel? Angry that Clarke left? Relieved she was uninjured? Happy Clarke was able to get Lexa back? Proud she had saved a life? 

****

Knocking on the door, Abby didn’t know whether or not to be surprised when no one answered.  _ Where else would she be? I was almost positive she would have brought Lexa here… _ Scanning her palm on Clarke’s door lock, Abby stepped into her daughter’s quarters. 

****

To say it was messy was an understatement. Sighing to herself, Abby walked into the living area and wordlessly started cleaning up. When neither Clarke or Lexa made an appearance after twenty minutes Abby finally decided to check the apartment.  _ Maybe Clarke’s asleep?  _ She just hoped the mental turmoil of the day hadn’t hurt her daughter too much and so soon. Making her way to Clarke’s bedroom at the end of the hall, Abby decided relieved was the emotion she was going to go with. Because seeing her daughter wrapped up so tight in someone else, asleep with a content smile on her face, there wasn’t anything else to feel. Lexa had an arm slung protectively over Clarke, other hand shoved under the pillow where Abby could make out the shape of a pistol. At first she was afraid Lexa might accidently fire it in her sleep, but then Abby looked to Lexa’s face at marveled at the fact the girl must have either heard her, or not have been asleep. Lexa’s green eyes met Abby’s own brown ones, and a silent thanks was shared between the two. Smiling, Abby waved before making her way back into the living room. 

****

After a moment or so, Lexa silently walked down the hall and wordlessly joined Abby in her pursuit to clean Clarke’s apartment.  _ At least she’s neat  _ Abby thought to herself, remembering Clarke’s previous partners and own personal habits. 

****

Abby wasn’t sure how long she and Lexa were cleaning Clarke’s quarters before the blonde herself walked into the room. Given how clean the room looked, the older Griffin guessed they’d been at it for a good thirty minutes or so. Clarke, still half asleep, seemed to not notice Abby as she walked in the room under a mane of blonde hair to throw her arms around Lexa’s neck. Smiling, Abby watched the way Lexa’s eyes grew brighter as she slipped her arms around the blonde’s neck, and let Clarke bury her face into her chest. 

****

“Mmm, Lex, where’d you go? I rolled over and you weren’t there,” Clarke spoke with her face in the bend of Lexa’s shoulder, hands clasped behind the brunette’s back. 

****

Lexa chuckled, and Abby marveled at the fact the usually stoic Commander had emotions, “Clarke, your mother.” 

****

“Huh? Lex, why would you bring up my mother-?” Clarke turned her head in the direction Lexa had nodded and her eyes widened in shock. “Mom! Uh, h-hey. Um...how long have you been standing there?” 

****

The doctor smiled, her daughter was surely awake now, “Long enough. I just wanted to check on Lexa’s stomach when I noticed a tornado had come through your quarters.” 

****

Clarke’s face flushed pink at the tease while she buried her face in Lexa’s chest, “Ugh, well, how’s your stomach Lex?” 

****

Kissing the top of Clarke’s head Lexa let out a chuckle, “You need to let me go if I am to check.” 

****

Clarke sighed and pulled her face away from Lexa, blush as bright as ever and tugged on the bottom the Lexa’s shirt, “May I?” 

****

Lexa nodded and Abby took that as a cue to come over. When Clarke pulled up Lexa’s shirt to reveal a nasty looking burn the had already begun to heal, Abby was shocked.  _ What the hell? _

****

“H-how? Clarke, do you see how far she’s come on the healing process already? Have you taken any drugs? Are you human? Clarke, what is in her blood? This is a medical miracle!” When neither of the girls responded for some time, Abby looked up from where she had been admiring Lexa’s burn to their faces. Clarke was looking at Lexa with worry on her face and Lexa was looking at Abby with a look she couldn’t quite describe. 

****

“Um, mom...look-” 

****

“Can I trust you?” 

****

The interruption took Abby off guard. She looked to see Lexa starting at her with such an intensity she almost had to look away. “Depends. What are you trusting me with?” Caution seeped into Abby’s bones. Had she been too quick to judge Lexa? Clarke clearly seemed to know something, and if Lexa and gotten Clarke into anything illegal-

****

“Nothing... _ bad _ ...just,  _ personal _ .” 

****

_ Oh.  _

****

Abby sighed, something told her trusting someone wasn’t something the young leader did easily, “Whatever it is Lexa, as long as it isn’t going to get my daughter in trouble, you don’t have to tell me anything.” 

****

Turning to make her leave, Abby was stopped when a surprisingly soft hand and long, slender fingers were wrapped around her wrist. Turning with a furrow in her brow Abby had only a split second to react to the blade in Lexa’s free hand. “Wait! Lexa no-” Abby wasn’t sure where Lexa intended to put the knife but against her own palm certainly wasn’t one of her top five places. Watching in equal parts horror, fascination, and curiosity, Lexa slid the sharp edge of the blade against her palm, curling the fingers around it to break the skin. She held her closed fist out to Abby, and when she opened her hand, black blood was seeping from the cut. 

****

_ What. The. Hell.  _

****

Gently taking her shoulders, Clarke guided Abby over to her couch and set her down before turning to Lexa and hitting her shoulder, “Really? C’mon, let’s get you a bandage.” Abby barely registered they were gone until Clarke was kneeling in front of her and squeezing her shoulders, “Mom?” 

****

Shaking her head, Abby looked down at her daughter then at Lexa who was standing just off to Clarke’s left. “W-what? I-just... _ how _ ?” 

****

Lexa smiled but it looked more like like a grimace, “Uh, well, you see…” 

****

The fact that Lexa looked nervous scared her the most. 

****

“Wait, here Lex, come over here and sit.” Lexa did as Clarke asked and Abby stared at the white bandage wrapped tightly around Lexa’s hand, imagining the black blood underneath-

****

“Do you want to long version or the short version?” Clarke looked back at Lexa as she asked the question, trying to gauge how much she was allowed to share. 

****

“Just...whatever you can tell me…”

****

So, Lexa delved into the story of blood, and how it was a radiation leak that caused it, and how it affected a few of the other Triku. The entire time Abby listened intently, watching for little signs in Lexa’s face Clarke seemed to be able to see that she couldn’t read. For instance, Clarke would grab Lexa’s hand and give it a squeeze and tension Abby didn’t even know Lexa was holding seemed to seep out of her. Looking for the little tells Clarke seemed to notice was almost as intriguing as the story behind Lexa’s mysterious blood and abilities. 

****

When Lexa finished with a sigh and a kiss on the cheek from Clarke, she looked back up at the older Griffin and most likely saw Abby’s curiosity. 

****

Because  _ damn  _ did Abby had questions. 

****

It almost wasn’t fair that Lexa seemed to be able to read what she was thinking when Abby couldn’t so much as tell how the brunette was feeling. However, a certain edge was gone from her demeanor, and Abby narrowed that down to either having earned Lexa’s trust or Clarke’s presence. 

****

“Go ahead, I know you have questions.” 

****

Swallowing deeply, Abby thought about what to ask first. Given the brief description and background of Lexa’s planet, or, well,  _ Earth _ , Abby gathered she wouldn’t know too many medical things but eventually decided the day had been long enough, and that she should just ask simple, trivial questions. 

****

“Do you know how fast you can run? Or how much you can lift? How about how far you can see?” Abby knew she must sound similar to a small child wanting to learn how the world worked, but she couldn’t help it. If Lexa was intriguing before, she was down right  _ incredible  _ now.  

****

Lexa laughed, “I’m not sure, I haven’t exactly had the proper opportunity or need to test such things. However, I can tell you the most I’ve ever bothered to lift before was a small house and that was when I was young and trapped under it.” 

****

Saying she was impressed would have been an understatement, “Do you, do you think I could maybe sample your blood in the lab one day?” Judging by Clarke’s widening eyes and Lexa’s narrow stare she had asked the wrong question, or simply stepped over a line she didn’t know she was straddling.

****

“I’m going to have to say no on that one, I’m afraid I’d prefer my limitations not be discovered and my kind hunted.” The way Lexa said it was cold and menacing, it was a warning and not a request. Abby knew she had to tread carefully because even though she knew Lexa would never hurt her, thanks to Clarke, she couldn’t deny she was slightly afraid of the younger brunette. “You must never speak of this but to Clarke and myself. Is that understood?” 

****

Gone was then gentle girl who was helping her clean up Clarke’s quarters and giving sweet kisses to said blonde from before. Now before her sat the war Commander, every bit as intimidating as she sounded. Even Clarke’s gentle tug on her arm seemed to go unnoticed. All Lexa did was stare into Abby’s eyes, cold and commanding. 

****

“Yes.” 

****

Almost as quickly as it came the Commander was gone and Lexa sat in her place. Abby was mystified even further, Lexa seemed to exist as two people, the girl who led armies and took bullets without flinching, and the girl who kissed her daughter’s cheek and blushed when anyone called her by her title.  

****

At first thought, it sounded like it would be ideal, only let those in who you know you can trust, who you know won’t hurt you. But looking into Lexa’s eyes, Abby could see the pain, the hurt, the  _ exhaustion _ , because eventually you’d begin to wonder who you really were. A stranger to yourself, known by many and the few, take the risk and uncover the real you, or play it safe. Survive. And at the end of the day, wonder if you were really who you thought you were. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

Raven’s eyes were wide with panic, hand gripping Anya’s and the bed railing, “Abby! Abby I can’t feel my leg!” 

****

_ Well, shit _ .

****

Abby looked at Raven and thought of the best way to tell her of this drastic news. To tell her she may never walk right again. 

****

“Raven, listen, I’m really sorry but-” 

****

“Oh please, just cut the shit. Tell me like it is, am I gonna be able to walk?” Raven asked, a waiver to her voice Abby felt more than heard as the girl tried valiantly to hide it. Anya, seeming to sense her girlfriend’s impending tears, shifter closer to Raven’s side while simultaneously grabbing a box of tissues. After being under a medically induced sleep for roughly two days, Raven was finally awake after Abby deemed the pain she would surely feel “bearable.” While Raven was looking drastically better compared to the pale limp girl Abby had operated on the days prior, the same could not be said for Anya. The Second Officer’s hair was tangled to the point where she had simply given up and tied it back. Her upturned cat-like eyes were rimmed with dark circles and pink in the areas she had rubbed them in an attempt to keep them from shutting. Anya had, however, changed clothes and now wore a pair of sweatpants borrow from Clarke and one of Raven’s shirts. The Second Officer hadn’t left the room once, and only left her position to use the bathroom, which conveniently didn’t involve he leaving the medbay. Octavia or Lexa would stop by throughout the day to bring food or water, and offer to take Anya’s place for a while, but the dirty blonde had refused. Simply saying, ‘I told her I’d be there when she woke up. In fact-yawn-I promised it.’ After saying she had promised it, she and Lexa had shared a look before Lexa nodded her approval and left the room after giving her Officer a kiss on the head and a squeeze on the shoulder. 

****

Now that Raven was awake however, Abby was impressed the girl simply hadn’t fallen over and started taking a nap on the linoleum tiles. “Well, seeing as you can feel perfectly fine in your other leg, I’m assuming the slight paralysis is only in your one leg, which makes sense as the bullet was fired and embedded at an odd angle.” Raven seemed to relax slightly, however still looked upset at the outcome. 

****

“How-yawn-long with she have to-yawn-stay here?” Anya asked, swaying on her feet. 

****

It made Abby nervous. 

****

“I don’t know but  _ you  _ certainly aren’t staying here any longer,” Raven cut in, waving a finger accusingly at Anya. Anya pouted in response, but before she could protest Abby decided to cut in, telling Raven at this point she was free to go as long as she kept it easy. “See, look at that, we can both get outta here!” 

****

After a small breakdown when Raven couldn’t walk without crutches, and support from a quickly fading Anya, Abby finally shut the door behind her and stepped away from Raven’s quarters. Checking the time on her watch, the doctor noted it was getting close to lunch and decided to pay her daughter, and with any lucky, Lexa, a visit. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

When Abby arrived in front of Clarke’s door, she poised her hand above the door, preparing to strike when she halted. Even through the thick metal of the door, laughter could be heard from within, quickly followed by a shriek and a cry of “Ah! Lexa, stop” that was more laugh than anything before a thump and more laughter. This time not as raspy, and Abby assumed it was Lexa. Smiling like an idiot, Abby knocked on the door and waited for one of the girls to answer, internally thinking of the teasing she could do if they pretended not to be inside. 

****

“Who is-oh, hey mom,” Clarke answered, opening the door past the crack she’d first opened it to upon seeing her mother at the door, allowing her to step into the living space. Clarke had a blush, and an almost sheepish look on her face, while Lexa wore a shit-eating grin. The sight that  _ really  _ greated her though, was the paint splattered face and clothes of her daughter and the specks she could make out on Lexa.  

****

“Wh-what the  _ hell  _ happened here?” Abby knew the shock could be heard in her voice when she looked around the quarters. Once white sheets were hung up along all the walls and spread out on the floor, save for the wall Abby could see from the corner she knew Clarke dubbed her “art studio.” 

****

‘Well, I wanted to add an accent wall to my art corner and-” 

****

Lexa interrupted Clarke who turned to the other girl with a glare that quickly turned into an adoring smile once she saw the absolute mirth on Lexa’s face. “What  _ really  _ happened, was Clarke asking me to help her splatter paint her wall, and then proceeding to think she could beat me at a paint war.” Lexa then turned to dramatically look Clarke up and down and turn back to Abby while gesturing to her with her hand held out flat, palm up which happened to have a streak of blue paint on it. “As you can see, she was clearly mistaken.” 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

What had originally started as a lunch ordeal and soon turned into an afternoon event with Abby, Clarke, and Lexa sitting on the couch in Abby’s quarters (Due to Clarke’s being a bit of a “war zone” as the girl’s a dubbed it.) Abby sat at one end with her daughter’s feet on her lap, while Lexa sat at the other with Clarke pressed snugly into her side. The trio had been in the middle of their third movie when Abby chanced a look at her two guests. Only to find them staring at each other with stupidly big smiles on their face. Abby rolled her eyes, but could still feel the smile on her own face when she finally turned back to face the TV again. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

**_Raven POV 3rd_ **

****

Sitting at a workbench table in her bedroom, Raven sighed and looked to the sleeping girl in her bed. Anya was still clinging tightly to the pillow Raven had replaced herself with when she got up, however, the Officer had a slight furrow to her brow that wasn’t there with Raven left. Smiling fondly, Raven turned back to the half built brace on her table. It was a start, however, when the latina failed to fight her next yawn and almost burned herself with a soldering iron, she finally gave in a switched off her desk lamp.  

****

Getting up, Raven braced herself on the edge of the desk and attempted to climb into bed without stirring her girlfriend. Thankfully, the dirty blonde was so tired her normally alert self didn’t notice the dip in the bed or the gentle tug of sheets. She did, however, whine a little when Raven pulled her pillow back away, and replaced it with herself. Although, once Anya was settled back onto Raven’s chest where the pillow had been moments before Raven softly laughed and Anya’s brow smoothing out again. 

****

“So I’m all you wanted huh?” Raven asked quietly into the dark, a tease that fell upon deaf ears. Instead of answering, Anya simply nuzzled her face further into the crook of Raven’s neck and tightened her hold on Raven’s shirt, albeit a little awkwardly with her bandaged hand. The intimate action made Raven smile with fondness and fall asleep with her heart feeling too big for her chest.  

****

She was all Anya wanted. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

**_Octavia POV 3_ **

****

Octavia spit her mouthful of toothpaste into the sink of her old quarters, which luckily no one had cleaned out. Drying her mouth and looking into the mirror, Octavia grabbed a towel and walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom, flipping the switch to turn of the lights as she did. 

****

Making her way towards the outlined figure in her bed, Octavia draped the towel over the back of a nearby desk chair to be used again in the morning and slipped her slippers off. Pulling back the covers, Octavia could see Lincoln’s bare back all the way down to the waistband of his underwear. Slipping into the bed, the brunette let out a sigh of contentment when Lincoln rolled over with a grunt and wrapped a strong arm around her and pulled her close to his chest. Lincoln’s warmth was a nice contrast to the cold sheets and Octavia fell asleep with Lincoln’s arm draped across her, lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his heart she could feel on her back, and the warm puffs of air she felt on the back of her neck. 

****

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

**_Clarke POV 3rd_ **

****

Clarke awoke sometime a little after midnight still on the couch with Lexa and her mother as the credits to some movie Clarke couldn’t recall played on the TV screen. Turning to her right, Clarke was surprised to see her mother still on the couch with them, although unlike before the older Griffin was now moved further down into the couch so that her head could rest on the back cushion without being at an uncomfortable angle. Her mother was snoring soundly, and Clarke rolled her eyes fondly before turning to look at Lexa. The brunette was still asleep, with an arm around Clarke that the blond was sure felt like pins and needles. Lexa had a small content smile on her face, and the sight warmed Clarke’s heart with a feeling she couldn’t identify. 

****

Thinking back about her day, Clarke felt that strange feeling grow when she acknowledged that  _ she  _ was the one to put that smile there. 

****

_ “Lexaaaaa, please help me paint my wall!” Clarke pouted, sticking out her bottom lip and almost breaking the act when she saw Lexa’s resolve crumbling.  _

****

_ “Clarke, I told you, I can’t paint.”  _

****

_ “You don’t have to been  _ good  _ at it, you just have to sling it! C’mon, I know you’ve got a good arm on you, help me out?” Again, Clarke put on the full puppy dog eyes and pout.  _

****

_ Lexa huffed but looked down at the floor with a smile and a dusting of pink over her cheeks and the tips of her ears, “Okay, fine, you win, I’ll help.”  _

****

_ “Yay!” Clarke cheered, because really, this was a huge victory. Before jumping into Lexa’s arms and planting a firm kiss on the brunette’s lips.  _

****

_ “Clarke!” Lexa whined, making the blonde in her arms look down at her, “If kisses were involved you should have just said! Would have saved us a lot of time.”  _

****

_ Clarke smiled, Lexa was  _ such  _ a sap! “Oh, really?”  _

****

_ A roll of beautiful green eyes, “Well yeah.”  _

****

_ Clarke brushed a kiss to her cheek, “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” She saw lexa gulp and loved seeing her confidence crumble. Not that there wasn’t something insanely sexy about Lexa’s confident attitude, but there was something endearing about being able to see the vulnerable side of her.     _

****

_ \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

****

_ Flicking green paint at Lexa when she bent down to dip her brush back in the bucket, when the brunette stood up with a devilish smirk on her face and flung her newly coated brush right back at Clarke. At first the blonde was shocked, then overjoyed as surely not a single one of her ex’s would’ve had the nerve or playfulness to flick paint back at her. In fact, she was sure half of them would have been pissed and cussed her out for ten minutes straight. As it was, Clarke’s dad had been the only other person to ever fight back, a wide smile on his face the entire time. Now here Lexa was, green eyes shining and huge smile in place without a hint of annoyance anywhere on her face.  _

****

_ Clarke was pulled from her daze when she felt a wet splatter on her nose, “So, are you really going to fight this battle?”  _

****

_ Clarke looked at Lexa for a moment, who was now dropped into a fighting stance with his paintbrush held out like it was a sword. When a bit of the blue paint Lexa had been using dripped off the end of the brush Clarke erupted into laughter, bringing the most blinding smile out of Lexa.  _

****

_ “No, I’m not. I’m going to  _ win  _ this battle!” Clarke took off to the other side of the room, laughing loudly as she went, smiling when she saw Lexa running after her at a normal speed and not her own super-human kind.  _

****

_ When Lexa finally caught up to her, when Clarke had run out of breath, it was only for the brunette to drop to her knees and tickle Clarke sides, causing the blonde to sherik rather loudly.  _

****

_ “Ah! Lexa, stop!”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone forever, please read the notes at the beginning.


	19. "Yes, You Big Dork"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyy so I'm like back :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I've been gone for, literal ages, and I don't have an excuse well, not really. At first school was taking up a lot of fucking time, but then I ran into some serious writer's block. I came back to this multiple time and tried to write but I wasn't happy with where I was letting this story go. I guess I just hadn't really thought about where I wanted the next few chapters to go, only where I wanted them to end up. So, I wrote this and honestly, it's kinda filler but it's filler that's pushing us in the direction I want us to go. I was just going to keep writing and post one big chapter but I felt that even though this one is little it should be it's own. Hopefully, I can start posting more because writing is really something I enjoy and all your positive feedback is really amazing. Sorry I've been gone for so long, and as always you know this chapter hasn't been reread. But I did have some fun with Abby in this chapter so, yeah. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Leave 'em down below! (Wow, it feels so good to type that again!)

**_Clarke POV 3_ **

 

Clarke awoke due to someone shaking her shoulders; though they weren’t rough it wasn’t an altogether pleasant experience. 

 

“Mm, Lex, no just a few more minutes,” Clarke grumbled, burying her face a little deeper into the pillow under her. 

 

“Cute, you think I’m your girlfriend…” 

 

A voice that  _ definitely  _ wasn’t Lexa’s hovered near her ear and Clarke found herself bolting upright in bed, only to come face to face with her mother.

 

“Mom! Uh, mom?” Clarke rubbed her eyes, before looking in the bed next to her to find Lexa’s spot empty. “What’s going on?” 

 

Abby sat on the edge of the bed next to Clarke, “Lexa’s with Anya and Lincoln discussing their next move. Apparently someone from their ship contacted them to let them know they made it back to Earth safely.”

 

“Raven’s not going to like this…” 

 

“You’re right, she doesn’t, neither are you but it is what must happen.” 

 

Clarke looked up to see Lexa walking through the door, all tanned skin and sharp angles. Just the day before Clarke had watched Lexa move around her quarters with a hint of a limp and slightly laboured breaths. Now, the Commander stood as tall as ever. 

 

“Lex? What’s the verdict?” a lump formed it’s way into Clarke’s throat, she had a feeling Lexa was just going to leave her here, building relationship or not. 

 

Lexa turned to look at Abby, “Do you mind if we talk for a minute first? Promise it’ll be quick.” 

 

Abby looked long and hard at Lexa for a moment before opening her mouth to say something. Quickly clamping it shut again, Clarke watched as her mother left the room, seemingly forgetting what she had to say. Lexa sighed heavily and Clarke watched the way she winced at little from the action. The blonde took this as a good sign, if Lexa was still willing to show Clarke what was hidden behind her walls it had to mean something, right?  

 

“Look Clarke-”

 

Clarke didn’t want to hear her-probably kind-letdowns. This was something she wanted to fight for and she had to let Lexa know she wasn’t going anywhere. “No, let me talk Lex. I know you haven’t exactly had the best relationships in the past, but this is different. What we have here is something worth fighting for, this...this is different. And I know you feel it too, either that or you’re a damn good actor! But you don’t just get to kiss me, sweep me off my feet, steal my heart and walk away. Do you understand me, Lexa? You don’t get to go and be all heroic again, what you pulled with Mt. Weather was some bullshit and you’re not going to be doing anything like it ever again. Not on my watch. So, you can either take me with you, or tell me right now, to my face that whatever we have between us, whatever this is, doesn’t mean anything and we’re done. I swear, you say the words and this-whatever this is, is done. But I’d better not see your face ever again because Lex I’m too far gone and I just...I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to see you again.” 

 

By now Clarke found herself pacing the length of her bedroom while Lex watched her from the bed with an unreadable expression. Previously flailing hands fell limp to the blonde’s sides as she looked towards the brunette on her bed, waiting for an answer.

 

Lex rose, barely making a sound as she did so, and with two quick strides cleared the distance between them. From this close Clarke could see into green eyes she often found to be the center of her thoughts, and from this close Clarke could see the thoughts whirring in them.  

 

“I knew you weren’t going to be happy if I told you I was leaving, and I knew something within you was going to want to come along. There’s a fire in you, Clarke. A spirit, brighter than the brightest stars out here in space. There’s a bravery, and drive in you that I admire so much, it’s why I lo- it’s why you’re you. You see a problem and you want to fix it. You see someone in need and you want to help them. You know what you want and you don’t stop until you get it. You know where your loyalties lie, and you stick by them until the very end.” Lexa brought her hands up to the sides of Clarke’s face, cupping her jaw in a way that felt gentle and endearing but strong at the same time. With a soft smile Lexa continued, “I didn’t come here to tell you I was leaving, I came here to ask you to come with me.” 

 

Clarke felt her heart pounding in her chest, between Lexa’s almost slip up that she was sure to psychoanalyze later to the fact that Lexa was asking her, her of all people to come with her. By now Clarke knew Lexa well enough to know that asking her to come along wasn’t something the brunette did lightly, and she had probably spent countless hours thinking it through. She also knew, however, that declining certainly meant that end of whatever was between them. 

 

Lexa seemed to be able to read her thoughts, “I know what’s going on between us is a beautiful mess at best, but, I can’t imagine not having  _ at least some  _ connection with you Clarke. And I think you know by now I don’t make decisions like this lightly, I’ll keep you safe. As safe as I can, which admittedly might not be enough sometimes, but I promise I’ll try. And if you ever decide you don’t like it anymore, I’ll take you wherever you wanna go, you just have to say the words. I can’t make many promises about what’ll happen in the future, I can barely promise you one. My line of work doesn’t exactly produce long life rates, but I can give you all that I can. You don’t have to say yes right away, you don’t have to say yes at all it you don’t want, I’ll understand. I’m asking a lot I know, but I can show you the universe Clarke. But only if you’ll let me.” 

 

Realistically Clarke knew she should say no. Because logically they hadn’t know each other for the longest time, hell they weren’t even technically together. But when it came to the heart, Clarke’s logic became absolutely worthless. No matter what was probably to logical decision, every fiber of Clarke’s being wanted to follow the girl in front of her. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

Lexa look up from where she had been looking at her feet, now a space or two away from the other girl, “Yes?” The hopefulness that resided within those three letters let Clarke know she made the right decision. 

 

Clarke nodded minute but with the attentiveness Lexa was watching her with she knew the brunette saw it. Rushing forward with a childlike girl on her face, Lexa swept Clarke up into her arms and spun them around. The blonde found herself laughing much like a small child on the schoolyard, wild and free and happy. “Yes Lexa! A thousand times yes!” 

 

And Clarke had never felt so sure of herself in her entire life. 

 

She’d also never felt so happy. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Abby 3rd POV_ **

 

From where she was stationed outside her daughter’s bedroom door Abby heard the entire exchange, and now stood with a smile on her face. Never in her life had she heard her daughter sound so overjoyed and if she didn’t know any better she’d think that Lexa had gotten down on one knee and asked her to marry her. Which, now that she thought about it, could have happened and while Abby had wanted to tell Clarke to go with the other girl earlier she also wanted to make sure they weren’t making any rash decisions. She had been twenty something once too.   

 

Turning the corner Abby rested against the door frame, the two girls in the room not noticing her approach due to being so wrapped up in one another. Abby found herself warmed at the smile on her daughter’s face, and for a time she had thought she’d never get to see it again. When Jake had died, it had hit her hard, but Abby knew he died a hero and from the beginning knew something of this magnitude could happen. It didn’t make it any easier, it hadn’t at the time and it certainly helped more now than it did, but Abby had found a certain peace within her self. She supposed it was easier to lose a lover than a parent, harder to wash out blood than water. And it wasn’t that it didn’t hurt, because well, it still did. But, Abby also knew she needed to be there for her daughter, and maybe that had somehow help. It wasn’t that Jake was gone, she had her memories, the things he had left behind and all the impacts too. But most of all there was Clarke, Clarke who Abby could see half of Jake in, half of herself. And after his death perhaps most would have been hurt to see the person they loved with all their being partially reflected in another. But Abby found it comforting. Comforting to see what they had created together, to see their love in tangible proof. 

 

Now, watching Lexa smile down at Clarke, Abby could almost feel herself in Jake’s arms, and the warmth his smile seemed to radiate. 

 

With a small chuckle Abby made her presence known, “Lexa was that your way of asking my daughter to marry you or a long winded speech to ask her to be your girlfriend?” 

 

The answering blush that coloured Lexa’s cheeks was perhaps the brightest one either Griffin had ever seen. “N-no Dr. Griffin, I….I w-was just-” 

 

Abby cut her off with a laugh, one mirrored by Clarke though the blonde held a slight flush to her too. “Calm down kid, although at some point I do expect grandchildren.” 

 

“Mom!” 

 

Abby’s laughter was much louder than her daughter’s embarrassment and echoed off the walls of the ship as she made her way to the medbay. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**_Clarke POV 3rd_ **

 

Clarke groaned, face buried in Lexa’s neck. Mortification was not the word to describe how she felt at the moment. “I’m so so sorry Lex…”

 

She felt the brunette shift around her, “Well...your mother might have been onto something…” 

 

The blonde whipped her head up so fast she was surprised she hadn’t hit the underside of Lexa’s jaw, “What?” 

 

Lexa’s look turned a bit sheepish, “Well, I was kinda hoping, if you’d said yes, that you would be my girlfriend?”  

 

A sense of... _ something  _ washed over Clarke and before she could think better of it she was pressing her lips to soft plump ones in front of her. Lexa made a started noise at first, but was quick to kiss back, a soft sort of  _ yearning  _ in the steady press of her lips to Clarke’s. When air became necessary Lexa pulled back with a smile on her face, and rested her forehead on Clarke’s own. 

 

“You never answered my question, Clarke.” 

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Yes, you big dork. My answer is yes.” 

 

The blonde pushed her lips onto Lexa’s to make sure the answer was understood, and if Lexa kissed her back by way of saying her understood...then so be it.     

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know a lot of Clexa stories have Abby as against Clarke being gay/bi (whatever) and Jake if he's still around being the caring parent and honestly at first I was going to do that, at least the whole Abby thing. Sorry Jake but you were never meant to be alive in this fic, but then it didn't happen. So, I decided I was just going to make Abby supportive of Clarke, but dislike Lexa, again didn't happen. So sorry if you're not the biggest fan of Abby being supportive but this is honestly what came naturally to me while writing this fic so instead of forcing it I just let it happen. Also, I like how Abby is in this chapter, I dunno I feel like a lot of fics write her a certain way and I kinda feel like maybe she deserves a little better. Idk, anyway if you ever need me or just wanna chat my Instagram is always open @coppertop0_o


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